This Topic is Archived
scott12 (original poster new member #64278) posted at 5:31 PM on Wednesday, June 27th, 2018
NO SOLICITING
[This message edited by SI Staff at 2:20 PM, June 27th (Wednesday)]
WhoTheBleep ( member #49504) posted at 5:36 PM on Wednesday, June 27th, 2018
You are not stupid.
Is there anyone IRL you can talk to about this? Get to your DR if you think you need more help. Counseling, antidepressants, etc. You are raw, and you will be for a while.
I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural
ohforanewme ( member #59230) posted at 5:36 PM on Wednesday, June 27th, 2018
Oh scott
I fortunately I don't need your assistance, XWW is way in my past now, but I can feel your anger.
Let it out. It is healthy to let it out. I suppressed mine for a year and it nearly killed me.
When I finally let it out it cost me a full dinning room suite, a laptop, several original oils and some other stuff,
Hope you can find a healthier way.
scott12 (original poster new member #64278) posted at 5:41 PM on Wednesday, June 27th, 2018
NO SOLICITING
[This message edited by SI Staff at 2:20 PM, June 27th (Wednesday)]
taken4granted ( member #61971) posted at 5:47 PM on Wednesday, June 27th, 2018
The best revenge you can get is to walk away with your head up knowing that you will be better off without her.
Seriously, find a punching bag at a gym and have at it. You need to let the anger out.
And I can't imagine seeing the videos. The mind movies are bad enough. The still photos of a topless AP were enough to haunt me for a long time. I can't even imagine what you're going through. Every time I closed my eyes, I could see her and imagine my WH looking at those pictures. I never saw the ones that he sent her. I didn't see all the messages, but I saw enough to feel some of that anger.
But please don't keep it in. Talk to you doctor. Get an individual counselor. Talk to someone in real life until you run out of words. Let it all out. And keep posting here. We're here for you.
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." - Mark Twain
Me: Living life! Him: Not my problem anymore
Married 15 yrs.
1 LTA, Many EAs from 2009 - ?
Dday 1 = 6/16/17
Last Dday = 1/4/18
Started loving myself 2018!
ohforanewme ( member #59230) posted at 5:50 PM on Wednesday, June 27th, 2018
Hey scott
I know how hard it is to sometimes believe the SI platitudes, but through time I have learned that they are repeated so often because they are so true.
Honestly, the best revenge is to go on and find your happy and successful life without them in it.
I am living testimony of just how sweet a revenge that is.
Hawke ( member #47517) posted at 7:03 PM on Wednesday, June 27th, 2018
Of course you're still pissed off! You just found out that your girlfriend has been screwing around and you even saw video of it.
I personally didn't need to get proof because I walked in on my ex with another woman.
It is an absolute mind-fuck. You don't even recognize this person who you had a relationship with and supported for all these years. And you feel so used by them because you're a good guy and you just expect that other people will act like decent people, not liars and cheats who suck cock in toilets (who does that?!?!?).
It's pretty horribly traumatic to find out. Are you eating and sleeping ok? Do you have someone in real life you can talk to about all this?
Me: BS (b. '75)
Him: exWS (b. '76)
D-Day: April 2015
Together 10 years
2 kids: 2011 and 2014
Separated (no divorce required for common law couple in my jurisdiction)
breatheme ( member #62715) posted at 7:52 PM on Wednesday, June 27th, 2018
Man, I'm sorry. I don't know what I would do if i saw video like that. Awful.
But, the good news is that that anger will give you energy to move forward and start working on yourself. Whenever you have doubt, just remember that video.
It might help if you thought "I have anger" rather than "I am angry." Anger is not your whole being (although I am sure it feels like that right now!). You are more than anger. That's a part of you. A very powerful part of you, but just a part. Use it to create fire to go to the gym, go to a lawyer, go to a therapist, get more done at work. Rule it, don't let it rule you.
Sorry, brother.
Breatheme
Breathe Me
D Day March 2016
Divorce September 2018
When they tell you ILYBIANILWY, believe them. Take them at their word. That might be the most truthful thing they are saying.
Pass ( member #38122) posted at 8:10 PM on Wednesday, June 27th, 2018
The best revenge you can get is to walk away with your head up knowing that you will be better off without her.
This sounds like a load of crap, and that's what I was sure of when I was so angry and people were telling me this. I knew that I wished she were dead - but of course I wasn't going to do that - so I was sure that I'd be angry for the rest of my life.
That was over five years ago. I have fantastic relationships with my kids, a good job, an amazing girlfriend, and spend a lot of my spare time playing music with other people. Life is great.
All that stuff I just said about myself in the previous paragraph? She can say the exact opposite about herself.
I definitely still have anger toward her, but I don't think about it often. It would still be ideal if she were to drop off the face of the planet, but that probably won't happen.
Some day, you'll get to this point, but you're right where most people are at your early stage of the game. You've gotten some great advice from the others about finding outlets.
Take care, friend.
Divorced the cheater and living my best life now.
The best thing about hitting rock bottom is that everything after that looks fucking fabulous.
This Topic is Archived
