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I still say my WH is not one but I wanted to know what the opinion is here.

I have read some posts where WS do seem like that is what they are, but what determines it?

Thanks!

[This message edited by Aoife620 at 10:42 AM, October 11th (Thursday)]

One A is one too many, but in my opinion, a serial cheater is someone that has more than one A. I also think multiple ddays makes a serial cheater.

I agree with Evertrying. Multiple DDay's or multiple affairs in my opinion makes a serial cheater. If the WS is unremorseful, then the chances of it happening again is pretty much par for the course.

My wife was having sex with her first and second boyfriend simultaneously (for some period of time)when she was 15, she had at least 2 sexual affairs during her first marriage, she has had at least 3 sexual affairs and 1 emotional affair during our marriage. I don't know what the definitive definition is but I do consider her to be a serial cheater.

Exactly, more than one Dday or more than one A.

I also think a serial cheater is more secretive and tends to lead a double life. Think of someone who makes an opportunity to cheat often like traveling for work. This person tends to hide their money too. Multiple affairs and long term affairs make a serial cheater. This person somehow justifies their cheating and compartmentalizes it much more than your "run of the mill" cheater. You have multiple D-Days because there is mountains of evidence to uncover.

My ex cheated on me for most of our marriage - my estimation is 10 years. He was a smooth talker and a charmer, he still is, he just can't charm me anymore.

More than one affair, with different people.

Saying multiple D-days is open to confusion since some people classify TT is another D-day (I do not).

I would also say that false-R does not serial cheater make, unless it is with a different person (too much mental stuff to say false-R with an (original) AP).

I’d say it’s someone who has had more than one affair partner. I agree that one is too many but to be a serial cheater it has to be more than one AP. Truth is even if they’ve only had one AP, they were probably fishing for it, before that one, they just hadn’t met the right level of fellow broken individual to hook up with. Depressing really...

My wife.

*Drum & cymbal*

Multiple DDays, multiple partners etc. Basically IMO a serial cheater is someone who has repeated the behavior multiple times over a significant span of time or with multiple people

When I say my WS is a 'serial cheater' on my tagline it means he has more than one A. I have also had many D-Days from him. I believe they must go hand-in hand.

There might be a lot of gray area in the definition for some but I can say for sure my XH is a serial cheater. There were 4 significant D-days, the first was confession to two prostitutes, second was a woman he was having an EA/PA with while I was pregnant, 3rd was that same woman after our baby was born, 4th was discovery of a final EA/PA. I divorced him after that and he married the final one.

But between D-day 3 and 4 (I don't consider this a D-day; it was just information) he confessed to more prostitutes and ONS than he could ever hope to count during our M.

So yeah, if that is not a serial cheater, I don't know what would be.

And my current H has cheated on his first wife (not sure how many D-days but all the same OW). There were two D-days in this M, both with the same whore he cheated on his first wife with 25 years prior! So no, I don't consider my H a serial cheater. Without knowing the rest of the details one might thing she was one special ho. But to me she was lower that the prostitutes my X was with because she very deliberately tried to use the deaths of his mother and DD to her advantage to break up our M. That is not an "excuse" for my H's part in it, but it is part of the overall story. That was 12 years ago and it clear to me that my H is not a serial cheater.

Even if there is downtime in between, a serial cheater will start up with someone else eventually. After all, the downtimes may be affairs you don't know about.

A BS coming on here after 20 years of M and finding out about a first affair is most likely not dealing with a serial cheater, especially if there were no prior red flags.

Some posters are Debbie or David Downer, always posting, "That's your wife's only affair--that you know of!" But honestly, there are plenty of spouses who go through something and do cheat for the first time years down the marital road. Plenty of cheaters are not the serial type.

Now very young people who cheat? Honestly, that's worrisome. You cannot be sure what their pattern is going to be. They can turn out to be a serial cheater.

More than one affair partner is a serial, just like a murderer. (Sorry, but it's true. That's where the name comes from.)

[This message edited by OwningItNow at 6:56 PM, October 11th (Thursday)]

What about a people who have exit affair's more than one time.But in relationship stay faitfull and when comes the end they cheat and left.Ovelappers.Are they all so serial cheaters or they are serial monogamus people?

And what about Emotionless Infidelity more than once, with an anonymous partner (either ONS or hooker) which may be often years apart, but never any affairs?

Well, we are all just giving opinions, but repeatedly choosing to seek emotional or physical connection outside of the union of marriage makes you a serial cheater, regardless of type of cheating or motivations for doing so. Your behavior is repetitive therefore 'serial.' But it's just semantics. There are many concepts and labels that people on SI cannot agree.

I have never really seen the type or amount of cheating have any real impact on the BS. It all hurts and it's all dysfunctional and unhealthy.

And what about Emotionless Infidelity more than once, with an anonymous partner (either ONS or hooker) which may be often years apart, but never any affairs?

Sleeping with someone else IS an affair. ONS or not.

Ergo, multiple ONSs equals a serial cheater.

From Cambridge English Dictionary:

affair: n., (RELATIONSHIP)

​a sexual relationship, esp. a secret one