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ibonnie ( member #62673) posted at 2:38 AM on Tuesday, February 26th, 2019
Situational depression, lost 30 lbs., insomnia, panic attacks, self injuring with cutting (something I hadn't struggled with for over a decade), and heart/chest pains.
"I will survive, hey, hey!"
Marie2792 ( member #44958) posted at 2:44 AM on Tuesday, February 26th, 2019
I was very depressed and weepy. I lost 10 lbs but I had been on a steady diet. The biggest physical effect on me was that I was in less pain with my fibromyalgia and my rheumatoid arthritis than ever before. In fact I haven’t felt that good since. My guess it was the adrenaline.
Me: BS,48 (41 at dday)Him: WS, 56 (49 at dday)Married 27 years, together 30 Dday : 9/9/14 3 week PA
GrayShades ( member #59967) posted at 4:19 AM on Tuesday, February 26th, 2019
21 months out and I still do that hiccup/breath intake thing that we do when we cry hard, but I now do it when I haven't been crying. I permanently broke something because I cried so hard at first. Wish the weight loss had been permanent instead
Me: 50 on Dday
WH: Turned 48 the day before Dday
Dday: 05/16/17 One son, now young adult.
keptmyword ( member #35526) posted at 4:41 AM on Tuesday, February 26th, 2019
Shock
Severe anguish
40 lb of weight loss in less than two months.
Severe insomnia
Loss of appetite
Anger
It has nothing to do with you.
Filed for and proceeded with divorce.
HeHadADoubleLife ( member #68944) posted at 4:58 AM on Tuesday, February 26th, 2019
Vomiting - anytime I ate, but also just dry heaving from stress
Extreme weight loss - didn't want to eat because it made me throw up
Severe lethargy - pretty much the only time I wasn't laying in bed was to get up to get water or go to the bathroom.
Lack of focus/motivation - did not have any interest in interacting with anyone unless forced to
Insomnia - 1st month maybe 2 hours total with wake ups every half hour or so. 2nd-3rd month, maybe 3-4 hours a night. Now in month 4, after NC for 2 months, I'm finally getting to 6 hours +
Uncontrollable crying - like out in public and out of nowhere it hits you and you can't control it, tears just start running down your face. I got really used to crying in front of strangers.
Extreme depression, not wanting to leave the house, or even my room
Also, the feeling of not ever being able to get a full, deep breath. This might have something to do with what GrayShades is saying, but for mine it's not the hiccup thing. It's just when I go to take a deep breath I feel like I can't get as much air in as I would like. I'm 4 months out and that still happens to me, even now just sitting here when I am not emotional at all.
BW
DDay Nov 2018
Many previous DDays due to his sex addiction
Hurt me with the truth, but don't comfort me with a lie.
Love is never wasted, for its value does not rest upon reciprocity.
SaddestDad ( member #69800) posted at 5:10 AM on Tuesday, February 26th, 2019
I've been experiencing:
Rapid and irrational mood swings
Palpitations
Severe depression (today I actually got out of bed & the house for a few hours of my own volition!)
Suicidal thoughts
Insomnia
No appetite followed by proverbially raping the food on my plate 2 or 3 days later
Weird sexual performance. Weird in the sense that one night I'll be way too abrupt (never had that issue prior to the A), next night go for over 1.5 hour straight without completion, next night apparently discover the JOYS of ED.
Random crying
Nervous tic in left eye-lid
Withdrawn from Social Media
Picking at facial hair unconsciously...
AFFAIRS SHOULD HAVE WARNING LABELS ATTACHED :(
(Edited for typo)
[This message edited by SaddestDad at 11:12 PM, February 25th (Monday)]
Life is a wheel. Sooner or later everything you'd left behind comes around again. For good or ill, it comes around again.
For what profit is to a man if he gains the world but loses his own soul?
BH 32
WW 34 Change4thebetter
Working hard
SaddestDad ( member #69800) posted at 5:13 AM on Tuesday, February 26th, 2019
@Tushnurse, could you please elaborate on the later-experienced autoimmune?
Life is a wheel. Sooner or later everything you'd left behind comes around again. For good or ill, it comes around again.
For what profit is to a man if he gains the world but loses his own soul?
BH 32
WW 34 Change4thebetter
Working hard
Dorothy123 (original poster member #53116) posted at 2:00 PM on Tuesday, February 26th, 2019
Thanks for starting this thread Dorothy123
You're welcomed . Also, thank you too.
But yeah, what Dorothy123 said
*wink*
"I’ll get you my pretty, and your little dog too!" Wicked Witch of the West.
Reece ( member #52975) posted at 4:06 PM on Tuesday, February 26th, 2019
Shame
Humiliation
Emasculation
Sexual performance problems
Nausea
Insomnia
Inability to concentrate/focus
Dorothy123 (original poster member #53116) posted at 1:22 AM on Wednesday, February 27th, 2019
.
.

[This message edited by Dorothy123 at 7:24 PM, February 26th (Tuesday)]
"I’ll get you my pretty, and your little dog too!" Wicked Witch of the West.
Shocked123 ( member #63617) posted at 4:01 AM on Wednesday, February 27th, 2019
Numb, flat, dreamlike state
palpitations
difficulty breathing
overeating (didn't even lose weight, ugh)
difficulty concentration
hyper vigilance
hyper sensitive
hyper sexual
inablity to cry
irritablity
paranoid
CurseBreaker ( member #64201) posted at 4:48 AM on Wednesday, February 27th, 2019
-Insomnia. Lucky if I got 6 hours in the first 3 months
-No appetite. When I did hunger, I had no motivation to cook.
-No sense of thirst, forced myself to have water and coffee
-It was like I was living in an alternate reality- nothing felt real
-Crying all the time- first tears of sadness then tears of rage
-Desired sex constantly, but only on my terms, even though I was disgusted by X. His advances turned me off.
-Quick to anger
-Weight loss
-No trust of X- always checking to confirm he was telling truth of whereabouts
-Hyper vigilant
-Sleuthing for any information
-Afraid- I was physically afraid for my and DS safety towards the end. That’s the point I knew it was time to go.
Edited to add: unable to focus. Had to make lists to remember work tasks, errands and chores.
[This message edited by CurseBreaker at 10:49 PM, February 26th (Tuesday)]
Me: BS, 30’s
D-Days: Up to 14! Must be a record or something by now...
D-I-V-O-R-C-E, that’s what infidelity means to me
Ag123 ( member #69833) posted at 1:37 PM on Wednesday, February 27th, 2019
Loss of appetite.
Can't sleep more than a couple of hours at a time.
Yo-yo emotions, from crying to numb to feeling like my skin was going to itch off my body
solo ( member #57709) posted at 1:46 PM on Wednesday, February 27th, 2019
Am I the only one who actually gained weight after? I was in the best shape of my life on D-day. Now I’m 40 pounds heavier.
I completely lost the desire to exercise, and didn’t care what I ate anymore. Just started sitting around and stuffing my face.
I’ve only now even remotely gained the desire to correct it. Just straight up didn’t care for a few years.
tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 2:17 PM on Thursday, February 28th, 2019
Saddest Dad - I was in a prolonged fight/flight response. Like for at least 6 mos. d/t knowing something was going on prior to dday and it took months to figure out.
The extreme stress turned on my autoimmune switches and made my inflammatory arthritis much worse. More pain, joint changes, etc. Went from just needing a daily NSAID to needing that, Tramadol, and immunosuppressive therapy to stop the joint damage. My lab markers for Inflammation (Sed Rate, and C-Reactive protein) went from high normal to through the roof in the 6 months post dday.
Many of us who had an underlying autoimmune issue be it arthritis, Crohn's, MS etc have had significant issues w/ their disease post Dday.
Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.
emartee ( member #65684) posted at 5:30 PM on Thursday, February 28th, 2019
I had chest pains that landed me in the ER due to stress and anxiety. I became very forgetful and scattered, moreso than I already am. I also became very easily startled, as if I am constantly on edge.
Also, I contracted an STD that physically affected me as well.
I did lose weight as well, but I had been already trying to lose weight, so that was a pleasant side effect. However I wouldn't recommend this as a way to lose weight.
Dorothy123 (original poster member #53116) posted at 7:08 PM on Thursday, February 28th, 2019
Thank you to everyone that posted in this thread.
I personally think that many of the newly betrayed are in total shock of how much pain infidelity brought them.
Personally, I thought I was going crazy.
"I’ll get you my pretty, and your little dog too!" Wicked Witch of the West.
iwanttoknow ( member #54264) posted at 1:10 PM on Friday, March 1st, 2019
I had/have many of the same symptoms as previously stated. There is one that I have not seen mentioned yet and it wasn't one that I have seen before. It may/may not be completely related but the sudden onset and extreme in the symptoms just seems so coincidental.
Within a week of dday, I began having....
heart palpitations
anxiety
panic attacks in the middle of the night
night sweats
vertigo
vomiting spontaneously just by turning my head
didn't like anyone
couldn't stand to be in a room with another person
little things extremely agitated me
hot flashes
feeling of impending doom
easily irritated(to the extreme)
forgetfulness/extremely poor memory
crying spells
brain very foggy(not remembering peoples names)
no patience with anyone or anything
lack of focus and concentration
achy joints
depression
dry skin/very itchy
extreme fatigue
very abnormal bleeding
my family thought I was on drugs (I've never!)
I would forget to send my kids to school
Lots of these sound very familiar to what you guys describe and as I was reading here shortly after dday, I thought this was all part of the cycle that I would go through.
Turns out, I went through menopause. Essentially overnight. All lab work pointed in that direction. My OB/GYN doc said he had never seen someone go from normal one day to full on menopause the next, but my labs proved otherwise. I had just been in his office for a routine yearly checkup two weeks prior.
It never even occurred to me that I was going through menopause, I was 44, a little early for that to be happening just yet. One of my close friends pointed out all the symptoms to me and said that I should see a doc. She was right.
Now divorced. Over two years later, still menopausal and have to take meds to keep my levels normal and me feel normal.
Was it dday? I don't know for sure, but my doc and I both believe that it was related to the stress and trauma from dday.
Dday - 8/30/2016
If you have nothing to hide, you hide nothing.......
brokendreamer ( member #63182) posted at 8:56 PM on Friday, March 1st, 2019
Ok I'll add mine to the list
Intitially- first month
Constant vomitting and dry wretching
Insomnia, awake all night
Lack of appetite
Drinking wine a bottle a night
Ruminations constantly
Shaking and anxiety
Became reclusive
Nausea
Feelings of hopelessness
Self blame
Total desperation
Anger, rage and a desire for vengeance
Lashing out at people, trusting no one
A physical pain in my gut
Confusion, feeling lost, like my world just ended
Total hatred towards him, her and everyone who condoned their relationship
After 6 months
Bravado
Joining dating sites
Buying make up
feeling better ie not being sick
Insomnia continues
Anger kicking in
Not thinking of him so often
The feeling of making progress
I filed for divorce
Feeling a little hope for the future
Met a guy who ghosted me
Started falling back down
12 months in
Very depressed
Thinking of ex constantly
Going up to 3 days without sleep
Over eating, then not eating
Overwhelming feeling of worthlessness
lack of hope
Not wanting to live
Plagued by ruminations 24/7 and dreams where I think he is in bed next to me.
became more reclusive
Started drinking a bottle of wine every night again
Torn apart with feelings of injustice, betrayal abandonment
Feel like discarded trash
Feel like she took away my life and made it hers
Bitter resentment
Stopped having any faith in God
begging for Karma, for some sense of justice
Complete self loathing and defeat
"One of the Keys to happiness is a bad memory" - Rita Mae Brown
"When karma comes to punch you in the face, I wanna be there just in case she needs help"
whoami62 ( member #65972) posted at 9:52 PM on Friday, March 1st, 2019
deep sadness
denial
hysterical bonding
nightly drinking to drown my depression
mental confusion
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