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Stupid stuff waywards say

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steadychevy ( member #42608) posted at 3:15 AM on Thursday, July 4th, 2019

SpinDoctorsHusband, I guess my WW wanted to try an uncircumcised one. She didn't say that but she told me he was uncircumcised like that should mean something. Perhaps it was because she finally decided to try and hold nothing back.

She did tell me that she was telling him she just can't cross the line. Not until I left home for a few days to look for ranch land for us 8 hours away and then she could cross the line. I guess there should be some recognition given for holding out for a while, anyway.

BH(me)72(now); XWW 64; M 42 yrsDDay1-01/09/13;DDay2-26/10/13;DDay3-19/12/13;DDay4-21/01/14LTA-09/02-06/06? OM - COW 4 years; "dates" w/3 lovers post engagement;ONS w/stranger post commitment, lies, lies, liesSeparated 23/09/2017; D 16/03/2020

posts: 4720   ·   registered: Feb. 27th, 2014   ·   location: Canada
id 8401170
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20yrsagoBS ( member #55272) posted at 3:27 AM on Thursday, July 4th, 2019

Mine says “ but this is different” when I ask why I should believe someone who has lied so much

BW, 54 WH 53 When you lie down with dogs, you wake up with fleas

posts: 2199   ·   registered: Sep. 21st, 2016   ·   location: Tampa Bay Area, Florida
id 8401173
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 Emotionalhell (original poster member #39902) posted at 1:21 PM on Thursday, July 4th, 2019

So many stupid things said.

Xcheating husband #1.... you would like her. Maybe we can all be friends... if you could only see what she looks like.

WH#2. She was never a threat to you.

We are just friends.

I was trying to calm her down. Every time I tried to get free of the relationship she would get anxious.

She was never going to leave her husband.

Me BS x2. 50ish Divorced WH #1. IHS with wayward #2 Dday #1 Oct. 2014Dday # 2 August 2018. Dday #3 December 17th.

posts: 1780   ·   registered: Jul. 22nd, 2013
id 8401295
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Notmine ( member #57221) posted at 1:43 PM on Thursday, July 4th, 2019

Yeah. Right after D-Day, my FWH told me that I "won" as well. Hmmmm. Exactly what did I "win"? A cheating, lying, amoral, cruel, backstabbing prize, that's what. How lucky I was! When he told me that she had informed him that she had never had an A before their A and I asked him if he truly believed her (a woman he had caught lying to him on several occasions), he said "I would like to believe that she wouldn't lie to me". No words.

When you're going through hell, for God's sake, DON'T STOP!

posts: 758   ·   registered: Feb. 1st, 2017   ·   location: DC
id 8401305
doh

MyAnimals ( member #70193) posted at 4:50 PM on Friday, July 5th, 2019

Why have I been driving by his house twice a day? So I could find out if you’ve been tracking me

posts: 58   ·   registered: Mar. 31st, 2019
id 8401765
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Shehawk ( member #68741) posted at 5:21 PM on Friday, July 5th, 2019

I wish these threads had a like button we could all click on if our Wayward Spouse said the same thing....

scratch that...if I am gonna wish anything then it would be that our Wayward Spouses told us the truth, were faithful, and loved us the way they should have loved their spouses.

So sorry we had to hear this sort of stuff after being cheated on :(

What a bunch of blame shifting horribleness ((all of us)) to every one of us who has been through this nightmare.

My wayward spouse said he was very upset that I posted on Facebook that I was surviving the one year anniversary of finding out that my spouse of more than 3 decades loved another woman AND that everyone was coming up to his mother and telling her he should have left me years earlier.

Mind you that was all I said. I said it because I was speaking truth to the darkness as part of my recovery and desire to be a light for others. And (if you have read even the parts of my story I have shared on here you would know) this was putting what happened very respectfully and mildly.

To be fair what I learned in counseling was that he was behaving in a classic avoidant distancing manner with lies, affairs, internet porn and secret relationships and it does make a person who is anxiously attached (me) really really anxious and hurt. And his mom is a serial OW.

But to hear him tell the smear story, I deserved to be abandoned and cheated on.

"It's a slow fade...when you give yourself away" so don't do it!

posts: 1955   ·   registered: Nov. 5th, 2018   ·   location: US
id 8401784
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Wintergarden ( member #70268) posted at 5:15 PM on Saturday, July 6th, 2019

So nearly six months from D day my WH today said,

"I would never have done it if I'd known it would hurt you so much"

FFS

posts: 311   ·   registered: Apr. 10th, 2019   ·   location: UK
id 8402293
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silverhopes ( member #32753) posted at 5:20 PM on Saturday, July 6th, 2019

"I leaned over to touch her, but I couldn't get it up. See? That proves I could never cheat on you!"

Pretty sure he's lying, and in any case, having another girl in your bed but then being unable to get it up is nothing to be proud about, loser!

Aut viam inveniam aut faciam.

posts: 5270   ·   registered: Jul. 12th, 2011   ·   location: California
id 8402299
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whatIknowNow ( member #69015) posted at 12:34 PM on Tuesday, July 9th, 2019

Very long story made short.

Wife "blindsided" me saying she would be moving in with her AP in two weeks.

In the intervening last two weeks we live together (after 11 years and two kids) she blurts out "I don't know why I can't just have an affair" from across the room.

I don't remember my exact response but it was something like "that's not happening".

posts: 109   ·   registered: Dec. 3rd, 2018   ·   location: Texoma
id 8403450
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