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The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 12:20 PM on Friday, November 22nd, 2019
Thank you for the update and I’m glad to see your H is doing things to make amends.
I hope you are successful and happily reconcile.
Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 12 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.
cocoplus5nuts ( member #45796) posted at 1:15 PM on Friday, November 22nd, 2019
I'm glad to read that your CH appears sorry for what he did. Hopefully, it's genuine.
told me that he was not making fun of me he genuinely wanted to know what kept me from jumping
Do you believe this, really? Think back on his tone and facial expression when he said it. Did it feel like genuine curiosity at the time, or something more insidious? I'm afraid he might be gaslighting you here.
Me(BW): 1970
WH(caveman): 1970
Married June, 2000
DDay#1 June 8, 2014 EA
DDay#2 12/05/14 confessed to sex before polygraph
Status: just living my life
nekonamida ( member #42956) posted at 4:29 PM on Friday, November 22nd, 2019
I agree with Coco. Why the smirk when asking? And why didn't he take your near suicide attempt as serious and instead accused you of humiliating him with your R requirements so soon after? This does sound like gaslighting.
Skooch, I don't think it was a good idea to give him access to SI just yet. There's a thread in General on page 4 called "do couples use this forum" about WSes joining SI and I think you should read it. Take note of all the red flags of when an unremorseful WS misuses SI to further abuse and manipulate their BS. Make sure he's here for the right reasons.
JBWD ( member #70276) posted at 9:12 PM on Friday, November 22nd, 2019
Glad you’re still here. Truly.
Me: WH (Multiple OEA/PA, culminating in 4 month EA/PA. D-Day 20 Oct 2018 41 y/o)Married 14 years Her: BS 37 y/o at D-Day13 y/o son, 10 y/o daughter6 months HB, broken NC, TT Divorced
Skoochnski (original poster member #71884) posted at 4:34 AM on Saturday, November 23rd, 2019
@Coco and Neko:
Thank you for your concern. I am aware that it could be gaslighting and I have my eyes open.
I am so grateful for people I don’t even know! I never knew I could feel so close to people I’ve never met! This is the best (and worst..😪
club/ group I’ve ever been a part of.
ME: 45 WH-47 Dday09-07-19 (our anniversary) Dday #2 11/12/19- Admitted to PA with AP #1 AP#1 2005 former COW- 6 Mo. EA/PA . AP#2- 27 year old former COW- EA, sexting. AP #3-24 year old current COW (he’s her supervisor) EA, sexting, plans to meet for PA
EllieKMAS ( member #68900) posted at 4:44 AM on Saturday, November 23rd, 2019
Skooch, I am glad for the update too and that you are still here. Just a couple things.
I would hold off on MC for right now. You both need IC for at least a few months first. MC done badly at this stage can seriously screw things up. Just my 0.02.
And if he is gonna join SI, fine. But don't give him your screen name. This is YOUR house and YOUR support. I second what Neko said - I would be wary of that myself.
Spend some time educating yourself on what a truly remorseful WS looks like. It is easy at this stage to want so badly for things to normalize that you can inadvertently minimize red flags in your own head. Ask me how I know that...
Just keep swimming!
"No, it's you mothafucka, here's a list of reasons why." – Iliza Schlesinger
"The love that you lost isn't worth what it cost and in time you'll be glad that it's gone." – Linkin Park
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