SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

GGT, listen to Tushie. She's right. Of course he's got you questioning everything but it's not because he's remorseful and truly sees the error of his ways. It's because he wants you to stop bringing it up so that when things cool down, he can go right back to the EA with OW or find a new one just like he has since his first A.

He should be panicking about where he's going to live. Kick him out.

So sorry you're still dealing with his wayward ways. But I'm not surprised since everything is blamed on his bi-polar disorder.

Has your MIL come to visit yet??

I think it's easy from the outside to give advice but you're in a particularly rough position dealing with this along with your new baby.

It's ok to take a step back and try and get some stability back in your life. You can take small steps like keeping him out the bedroom and implementing the 180 until you feel strong enough, mentally and physically, to take your next step - whatever that may be.

This can be a stressful time of year without adding all the extra anxiety and stress infidelity can add. Treat yourself well, prioritise you and your children, your WH will sink or swim on his own.

I contacted my old divorce lawyer today

I’m sitting in a parking lot where I need to go pay a bill... instead I’m crying and listening to the radio

No, Mil hasn’t visited yet. We actually go a text from SIL saying “you should be ashamed “. Apparently we’ve offended mil. But that’s neither here nor there. She’s not my problem anymore

Stop putting yourself down! Right this minute!

Take the kids to his office. Leave with the baby and stay in a hotel for a few days. Let him do the running around. Be sure to leave him a text, and email, stating you are doing this to get some rest but will be back. You always have to leave a trail so he can’t accuse you of abandonment. He needs a reality check.

Gosh, have you been going thru this since 2010?

Just put an imaginary buffer around yourself, focus on you and your kids.

What did the atty say?

No, I thought 2010 was a one time affair. Afterwards, he was contrite and we were separated for two more years, then got back together. He’ struggles with bipolar and anxiety disorder and out issues were his manic irritablity mostly.

It’s just been since about April that he’s been texting this woman a lot. They work together so at first I didn’t think anything of it, she is married with kids, and seems nice and normal. The first OW was single, no kids, and not emotionally well balanced.

The texts got more and more and I told him it was inappropriate and I felt that he was spending time texting that he should spend with his family. It was only Wednesday that I learned the texts were really inappropriate

I have to reply to your statement that you are not smart, but just a housewife (paraphrasing here) and can't talk work with him (why would he want to after working 12 or so hours a day at it? Seriously, after work that is the last thing I'd want to do)

The smartest person I ever knew was a SAHM with a 7th grade education. She was married to an electrical engineer and she ran circles around him in regards to being a smart cookie. (she was my Mum). She taught me to read at age 3, she taught me long division after my Dad failed to make it click. She taught me fractions while cooking - She may not have had a degree but she was in some ways, smarter than I'll ever be.

Like her, You ARE EXCEPTIONAL. Remember that!

You run your household, which requires managerial and organizational skills.

You handle logistics of getting everyone where they need to be, on time and back home safe and sound. That takes navigational and organizational skills.

You probably pay bills and balance your check book - that takes math skills

You cook healthy dinners - that is an exceptional skill to have in this day and time.

You listen to your kids when they have problems, offer up advice (and I bet that is not limited to just your kids)...so you are an unpaid therapist for lack of a better definition.

One of my best employees was a middle aged, going back to work SAHM. Know what sold her to us? The fact she had all of the above skills and was honest.

Please do not think that you have nothing to offer in way of conversation. You have more than the AP, and honesty to boot.

Hang in there, you have all the time in the world to make your decision on what to do.

Please tell the OBS though.

tell the OBS... are you in IC? That might give you some respite.