Oy - some of this post seems to be going downhill and I do hate that because I do really believe Ceph's heart is in a good place. Looking for ways to bridge the BS and WS connection is definitely beneficial regardless of whether it's your spouse or not. If it weren't for some of the BS here, I am pretty sure I would be divorced. They gave me exactly what I needed to get clarity. So, that connection can never be understated.
Hiking...we aren't arguing, are we?
I didn't think so. But, I do believe that we were BOTH talking past each other.
I wasn't really hearing YOU needed it. I was hearing that you thought it would help us with our empathy. So, I guess I was just trying to explain to you my POV of this site. I feel like to come to a solution, all POV"s should be taken into consideration, and I didn't see that as not showing empathy. But, if you are asking for something you need, then I have great empathy for that. I am sorry to hear you have been depressed and overwhelmed. I reached out to you when you were here before as there were some really nasty exchanges that I think hurt you a lot.
And, I would love to understand how Deeply Scared was. I will look up some of her posts. I was saying it was hard to understand how this site was with her, but I don't think any of us really can step into those shoes - she was a founder! We have some really great guides and mods though!
I'm not saying anything of the kind.
But this is what I'm talking about right here.
I'm saying that BS's want to feel like we are understood and heard and we want to see reformed waywards show what reformed is supposed to look like
I can completely understand that.
We want to see you guys ask us things
I think this is where I get confused because I do feel we do that? At least the non-transient, non-newbies. I was trying to say that in my own verbose way, and maybe that was getting lost in translation? But, I also think there are a lot of BS who don't want that as well...
We want to see empathy practiced and exercised.
Would you mind starting a thread for me in the Wayward forum for "WS to BS/BS to WS" please? I LOVE the one that you started yourself that's WS to WS but I can't open such a thread on the Wayward forum and I'm jealous of what I see there.
And I don't want to start just a "BS to BS" thread. There's already a "Betrayed Menz" thread and those guys aren't my wife or wayward or necessarily empathy challenged.
If you or another former wayward don't feel comfy starting a thread in Wayward at my request, then let's talk about why that's a bad idea or a good one if we can.
I think it is great if someone else wants to do that. I personally do not, because I do ask questions and do outreach with BS. And, I feel like the WS to WS thread ends up seeming like it's my thread, and it flounders in some ways because of it belonging to someone. I am uncomfortable to start something new that it looks like I am leading.
As I have mentioned in my prior note, we did have someone start a thread like that in the WS forum a couple months back, and it really petered out quickly. And, the mods said that it never did well in ICR. I don't know that we have a big enough group of WS who have gotten to a place where they can do that. The BS stay longer, and almost all of the ones who ask in the ICR thread have been here a pretty long time.
So, please do not take the challenges I am presenting as lack of empathy though...okay?
Either way, we are likely to learn a lot more about one another in the process. And that's what I'm after really.
I do feel the same here.
I think you are a very fantastic part of SI. I really do. I'm not trying to make you feel argued with or shamed or anything of the sort! I want you and others to realize what you don't see about yourselves. I want us all to be happier and healthier on here.
Thank you for saying that. I don't think what I took as arguing was about me personally.
This isn't about you at all really. It's about what a BS has to deal with and what we see. And it's about what a WS doesn't have to deal with and doesn't see.
That puzzles me. I see it because I have a BS, and because I read almost all the BS posts. I interact with them, I do ask for their guidance. I think a lot of us do. Again, having a different observation is not about not having empathy though.
I am all for more relations, I do think we gravitate to people on the site who have similar situations. And that transcends BS/WS. We find people whose situation sounds like our own, or things we relate to. I state that in the case it spurs a creative thought that we all haven't had on the matter?