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Yes...I'm talking to YOU !!! This time of year can be so triggering...so heartbreaking (((HUGS))). But YOU have a super power that can turn things around!!! Your BRAIN .

Our brains are absolutely amazing . They are our control center...and most of the time they do a pretty good job. Every one of us on here have made it to adulthood...so YAY for brains getting us through puberty!!!

Sometimes though...our brains tend to be overly cautious. They mean well...and they are always looking out for our best interest. But when the heart and brain collide...they can send us into a tailspin . The GOOD news is that YOU control your emotions...and you can decide what you want to do .

It's all about perspective . Change your thinking and you WILL change your life . You don't think you have it in you??? Well let me tell you something...you didn't think you could survive infidelity either...yet here you are !!! Our brains can get caught in ruts of despair... sadness...loneliness. But WE have the power to pull them out .

Put that brain of yours to work being POSITIVE!!! Think up something...anything...that would make you feel PEACE. What evokes positive feelings in you? Don't worry about the situation you are in now...it will still be waiting for you after Christmas. For ME...it is being with my family . My innocent grandchildren have nothing but LOVE for me...and the feeling is mutual! Seeing their faces light up when they see me gives me such JOY!!!

What does it for you? Don't go down that road of feeling like you will NEVER have another Merry Christmas!!! The ONLY thing keeping you from having one is YOU. You have been there and done that...it is time for something else!!!

Volunteering is nice .Visiting a nursing home would be a BLESSING for someone...and it would make you feel better too! Heck...buy some egg nog and sip it while soaking in a hot bath. Have you watched the movie "Elf"??? If you aren't into that kind of thing...then "Shaft" with Samuel L. Jackson will have you guffawing!! Yes...that's a word !!! There are MANY things to do that are positive...the possibilities are endless!!!

The thing is...instead of dwelling on the negative...which will make this Christmas a painful memory...do something to make this Christmas a HAPPY memory . Too many MERRY Christmases have been stolen from you. Don't you DARE let another one get away!!!

Don't set yourself up for failure. No matter how much I want to spend Christmas right now with my Beloved Mama...she is not here on Earth for me to be able to do that . However...one GLORIOUS day we WILL celebrate Christmas together again . So for now...I focus on...the grandchdren !!! Don't dwell on something that has to involve someone else to give you peace. You can't control anyone else. But you can control YOU !!!

A study was done with successful people. The majority of them said they had a DREAM of what they wanted their life to be...and they pursued that dream. Even when others said it couldn't be done...they proved them wrong . So DREAM that dream you want for Christmas...and make it happen !!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS

You know what’s amazing? YOU ARE!!!!!

Reading your posts always brightens my day. The love and positive emotions coming from your threads always manages to make my day a little better. Thank you!

Merry Christmas to you too!!!!!!

Thank you W2BHA...I needed this today.

What an uplifting thoughtful post!!

You are a treasure Want2B.

It's not easy to truly project joy via text, yet it does shine through your posts - with or without those emojis used for emphasis that you add for fun.

I'll simply add, thanks for your relentless kindness and support here, it certainly helped me on my journey.

Merry Christmas W2BHA!

Thank you for this post! It gave me perspective today. I am allowed to feel and experience joy!

Merry Christmas to you!

https://giphy.com/gifs/top-100-movie-quotes-when-harry-met-sally-ill-have-what-shes-having-l4HnWa5toF8gtBhLO

[This message edited by whoami62 at 3:48 PM, December 19th (Thursday)]

ff4152...aww my friend...your sweet words made my day!!! THANK YOU !

nervousnelly...I am HAPPY to see this helped you today !!!

zebra25 ...I was hoping this would be uplifting...thanks for validating that for me !!!

Oldwounds...We are kindred spirits my friend...and I am a BETTER person for having "known" you !!!

crazyblindsided...you are one of my heroes on here. All the CRAP that has been thrown at you...and yet you STILL come out smelling like a rose. What STRENGTH and GRACE you have shown Dear Lady. YOU deserve PEACE this Christmas...and I pray that you have it !!!

whoami62...

!!! I have had people IRL tell me that they want whatever it is I am on !!! I tell them I am just HIGH on life . After Dday...I lost that PEACE . It wasn't easy to get it back...it felt more comfortable to wallow in all of the negativity. But I knew it wasn't healthy...and I was PISSED that THEY took this away from me. I started small...trying to get the negativity OUT of my life. Then I added more and more positivity into it. I do have setbacks...it isn't always rainbows and roses. But if this helped someone like ME...maybe this will help someone else .

Love this! Merry Christmas! 🎄💚

Yes!!! Ya know, last year I was in auto pilot mode. I was midway through my D, I didn't have my kids for Christmas for the first time in my life. I remember just staring at the wall on Christmas morning crying, sad and so angry.

What a difference a year makes! I've been full on in the Christmas spirit. The joy has been brought back. This year I have my kids, cookies made, presents all wrapped and I am truly blessed! The brain is a little trickster, you're right, focus on the positives. For those feeling lonely this time of year just know that you have yourself. This journey is not for the weak but it does get better! Merry Christmas to you all!!

Wishing you and yours a beautiful Christmas and fantastic 2020, Happy Lady!

Want2BHappyAgain,

Merry Christmas! May Santa bring you as much peace and joy as you bring us! I think that your inner light is shining brighter than Rudolph's nose right now.

Well, this Santa finally finished for the night and is off to bed. I sure hope those dancing sugar plums don't wake me up too early.

Peace to all.

Wishing everyone peaceful holidays. No matter where you are.

Cheers! From someone traveling alone for the holidays. So much happy new memories to make. Let's live!