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LadyG (original poster member #74337) posted at 3:31 PM on Tuesday, May 19th, 2020
I am in an awful predicament.
In short, STBX WH and I have a burial plot right next to my late father and directly opposite his.
I have had to consider this in our settlement and WILLs
As much as it pains me, I cannot be buried there and or can he without my consent.
I have decided on cremation and I am pleased with this plan. I have informed my adult children and they are fine with this.
STBX WH hasn’t given this any thought as he’s still banking on a miracle reconciliation.
How do I push him to think and make alternate plans.
September 26 1987 I married a monster. Slowly healing from Complex PTSD. I Need Peace. Fiat Lux. Buddha’s Love Saves Me 🙏🏼
Justsomeguy ( member #65583) posted at 3:47 PM on Tuesday, May 19th, 2020
My STBXWW and I have a joint plot beside her parents. Part of my D proposal is to buy me out
If she doesn't, I'm going to donate my portion of the plot to be used the the most notorious criminal I can find. Maybe just auction it off on Ebay...
I'm an oulier in my positions.
Me:57 STBXWW:55 DD#1: false confession of EA Dec. 2016. False R for a year.DD#2: confessed to year long PA Dec. 2 2017 (was about to be outed)Called it off and filed. Denied having an affair in court papers.
Divorced
Justsomeguy ( member #65583) posted at 3:51 PM on Tuesday, May 19th, 2020
Sorry. That came out wrong. It's my way of dealing with the shit she put me through and still is.
Put it in you S agreement that he either buys you out or relinquishes control. A judge would probably impose this as reasonable, especially given his infidelity. It would be akin to ring buried with your abuser. Actually, that is exactly what it is.
I'm an oulier in my positions.
Me:57 STBXWW:55 DD#1: false confession of EA Dec. 2016. False R for a year.DD#2: confessed to year long PA Dec. 2 2017 (was about to be outed)Called it off and filed. Denied having an affair in court papers.
Divorced
LadyG (original poster member #74337) posted at 9:13 PM on Tuesday, May 19th, 2020
Justsomeguy,
Auction seems like a plan...
What if MY STBXH Is the notorious criminal I wish to keep out!
I have had some very dark thoughts about this.
I see my Dad reaching over and grabbing him. He escaped my Father’s clutches for so many years. WH is terrified right now.
September 26 1987 I married a monster. Slowly healing from Complex PTSD. I Need Peace. Fiat Lux. Buddha’s Love Saves Me 🙏🏼
Simplicity ( member #60501) posted at 11:04 PM on Tuesday, May 19th, 2020
Definitely sell it. When my uncle died, we were so lucky that someone was willing to sell their plot in the area we bought it in, because we wanted him to be near the rest of our family, but the immediate area was otherwise sold out. Especially if you are planning on being cremated, you will be helping another family in need!
HalfTime2017 ( member #64366) posted at 11:06 PM on Wednesday, May 20th, 2020
Burial plots are extremely expensive, at least out this way. I'm talking 10K. I'd sell it before just giving it to the exH. Use that as a downpayment for something.
EllieKMAS ( member #68900) posted at 11:17 PM on Wednesday, May 20th, 2020
How do I push him to think and make alternate plans.
You don't push him to anything. Do what you need to do for yourself. He is gonna feel however he feels and that's not your problem anymore.
"No, it's you mothafucka, here's a list of reasons why." – Iliza Schlesinger
"The love that you lost isn't worth what it cost and in time you'll be glad that it's gone." – Linkin Park
nekonamida ( member #42956) posted at 4:18 PM on Thursday, May 21st, 2020
I agree with Ellie. Let your lawyer and the paperwork do the talking. If he's high on hopium and rugsweeping, he's not going to listen to whatever you tell him. He's going to file it right under "stuff LadyG said while angry but doesn't mean" or "stuff I can change later". No point in wasting time and energy on it.
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