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This may have been covered here before, but can you guys tell me if your husbands get regular friend suggestions of seemingly random women? Not connected through another friend, no common contacts, just random puckered up, cleavage showing, bathing suited, filtered, let me bend this way so I can show my ass kind of women. Where do they come from???

I moniter his phone through a spy app (that he's unaware of), and he doesn't use a computer. I know he rarely uses FB and when he does, he isn't searching for women. He occasionally gets on for a few minutes at a time. (I monitor that account too)

Is this a common thing for men who have fb accounts? Personally as a woman I never get these types of friend suggestions male or female. If I get a friend suggestion 98% of the time its because they are friends of a friend.

I guess my big underlying fear here is that these are random women that he met/meets in his life, and maybe they are looking him up? I'm just so afraid of another bomb going off. I know its not healthy to live this way, but for some reason I just can't or don't want to find the courage to leave, but I just keep looking for reasons, maybe to help push myself over the edge.

Hes doing all the right things. Counseling, affair recovery class, being accountable and remorseful. He is kind and treats me well. He says he'll spend the rest of his life trying to convince me that i really am special. He cries with me and listens to my endless heartbroken purges, but I'm afraid I'll never be able to feel safe because of the choices he made in our past.

That was the long way of asking: do ALL men get this type of stuff on fb??? Or is it just my husband.🤔

I've been on FB a long time and I don't get any. And I'm a member in numerous 'clubs' there.

I once his AP#1 come up as a friend suggestion...quickly blocked her! 😠

Sometimes, a stranger will make a comment in a public group, and I will click on their profile. I'm nosy.

Then, these strangers will occasionally pop up as a friend suggestion.

So, I would guess he has either looked at her profile before, or they have looked at his.

I've been on Facebook for a very long time. I don't get barely dressed women,or men,as friend suggestions. Neither does my husband.

I don't think they show up randomly.

At least not in my experience.

I've been on FB for over 10 years and I can count on one hand the number of truly random 'adds' I've gotten.

I do get random adds from people in groups I've discussed things in. Those aren't truly random though. Typically it's people who want to continue conversations.

I've been off Facebook since December 2019, but I would see some of what you are talking about. I suspect that it is likely due to the algorithm. I left Instagram and later Facebook because while I was in 'false R' with my wife she had made it clear she didn't like my habits on those platforms, and my EA AP was finding ways to contact me through there. At the same time, due to the nature of politicized politics in the USA, I saw getting off there as a big win. I have two really close friends who still are there, and they sort of look at me with envy that I'm no longer on Facebook. I have tried to sell them on the idea of ditching it altogether. Sure, from time to time, I will have a thought of a friend and I haven't got an "update" on their life, but I then remember that Facebook was maybe only worth about 1% of that, the other was 99% crap.

What I have been told is that to have a friend suggestion with no mutual friends generally means one or the other viewed the opposite profile.

It is usually based off an algorithm. I get random suggestions all the time although I am no longer on FB outside of my business page. There's seemingly no rhyme or reason to it . I don't know most of em and neither do the majority of my friends.

I've definitely gotten those friend requests. It's always just a profile with a single picture and the profile has been recently created. Obviously spamming for something. Half the time I don't see the request until after that profile has already been blocked or deleted (my guess is facebook catches them or they've already been reported?).

I have a common first name. I wonder if that affects the algorithm.

I am back on facebook, but only friends with family members and a few key friends. Over the past year, I have noticed that there are more and more suggestions for people who are not friends of friends, nor are they people I have interacted with or looked up. They are often male, some are female with over-the-top sexy profile pics. They are all marked "widow" or "widower", some of them send me friend requests. Generally speaking I think these people are spammers and they are trolling for nefarious reasons. To take over profiles, do money stealing scams, etc. They look at a lot of profiles I think, and if they look at yours they tend to then show up in the suggestions bucket.

I do not know if this is something to be concerned about if your H is not causing this to happen. I know 100 percent I am not causing it to happen. I block the people doing the friends requests, and the friend suggestions I don't worry too much about.

[This message edited by hikingout at 1:16 PM, January 21st (Thursday)]

your husbands get regular friend suggestions of seemingly random women? Not connected through another friend, no common contacts, just random puckered up, cleavage showing, bathing suited, filtered, let me bend this way so I can show my ass kind of women.

I'm a BH. I get these all the time. They come from hackers and scammers trying to get personal info so they can steal from you. I am 100% certain that the creators of those "friend" pages are not the hotties depicted in the salacious photos. They are pimply hackers in a stinky basement phishing around for a sucker to steal from.

Usually those are spam. Do not click on them to see what who they are, it opens up the algorithm to send more.

I occasionally get them, I'm guessing because my name can be both a male and female name.

My spouse gets them regularly. Just hit ignore/decline/forget - can't remember what the option is, but don't open them. Usually their names are really foreign sounding or very made up sounding too.

I’m an XBH, and I get unsolicited FB friend suggestions, but usually they’re friends with a friend of mine, and the suggested friend’s profile usually says “you have x mutual friends”. Funny but true story, I started communicating with a woman that I met on Match and after a bit of time she asks me “why did FB suggest to me you as a FB friend?” I responded by asking her if we had any friends in common and sure enough we had one mutual friend.

Years ago there was a fairly large network of us on here that had fake pages for snooping, etc. I had left my page up yet dormant and hardly ever posted anything.

Recently I had a need to increase my activity level and sent out about 20 random friend requests that I had mutual connections to. Literally the next day my requests blew up!! 20-30 a day. I went from 125 friends to over 1700 in about two weeks. A lot of men, but I controlled it by ignoring most and accepting women. Majority are local and appear to be legit. Now since I’ve rejected so many, I’ve dropped out of the cycle and maybe get one per week.

I agree that it is likely algorithm based. I would continue to delete them. If new ones keep appearing...my guess is that he is clicking somewhere to trigger more.

If the profile is public I believe your guy will get random spam/friend requests. But nothing like what you describe.

Try going into his account and changing the settings to private so only his friend group can see his posts or profile.

[This message edited by The1stWife at 2:07 AM, January 22nd (Friday)]

I get 'friend requests' from unknown men every week or two. They are most likely scams and I delete them. My husband gets them from women all the time as well. I don't worry about these as long as they aren't "real" women.

The 'suggestions for friends' that you scroll through are a mix of friends of friends and unknown people. Again, I don't worry about it unless my husband were to add some unknown woman to his Facebook page.