This is more evidence that your XWW's attorney is not very good.
I agree with the lone caveat that xWW's attorney has a really shitty client too. You have to remember that, prior to trial, they were asking for lifetime alimony and all three tax exemptions for our kids. xWW then testified that she was asking for 7 years of alimony (which literally handcuffed the judge to award alimony for a maximum of 7 years) and that we should split the three tax exemptions evenly. Admittedly, both of these positions by her attorney were stupid legal positions (e.g., my state has a firm statute that requires marriages to be at least 20 years in duration before lifetime alimony can be awarded)... but her client also sucks.
If you actually were abusive, then your XWW could file a personal injury suit, and sue for damages related. As that was not part of your D case, that should not and cannot be considered.
I haven't said this to my kids yet, but eventually I will. I might even show them the evidence against xWW's rape allegation. She LITERALLY texted me one day and accused me of raping her and told me that I "should check my mental health records." Meaning, xWW is claiming that I raped her not based on her personal knowledge but based on what my therapist wrote (also: there is one line in my therapy records that could be interpreted that I had sexually assault xWW... but trust me... it was just poorly written).
Lawyers have to play the hand they were dealt. In blackjack terms they are sitting on 16 with the dealer having a face or 10 showing.
This quote is sort of correct. However, the analogy falls apart because xWW's lawyer could effectively call a time out and ask for a settlement.
So, instead of going through the appeal (which will cost me ~$15,000 and xWW about $8,000 -- just guesses; the total alimony award was about $35,000), her attorney could have encouraged her client to settle.
We had mediation. Neither xWW or her attorney disputed one iota of the merits of our case. Their "final offer" to settle was about $21,000 ($20,000 in cash and I had to cover about $1,000 of associated legal fees to transfer the funds).
And the above is just one example of the ridiculous positions that xWW and her attorney have taken throughout this divorce.
Here are two others: (1) In December 2018, I offered her $2350 per month in some combination of alimony and child support for 7.5 years. She wanted as much custody as possible and I wanted 50-50% custody. So, this offer was... we would do a parenting evaluation and I'll pay the appropriate child support as determined by the parenting evaluation and then I'll make up the difference in alimony after that, and (2) In February 2020, I did the math and basically knew then that she would not qualify for alimony unless the judge made two really bad rulings (and it had to be BOTH). So, at that time, I offered her the highest possible child support given the fact that we had an agreement for her to get 70% physical custody of the kids. This was about $2100 per month in child support, no alimony.
Using a Monday-morning quarterback perspective, the judge awarded her $2350 per month in combined alimony and child support.
This is almost exactly what I offered her in December 2018 and she could have saved herself about $25,000 in legal fees and a lot of headache. In fact, she could have accepted 50% physical custody of the kids at that time... and saved herself about $32,500 in legal feeds (the parenting evaluation cost her about $7500) and she would have had less responsibility than she has right now.
Alternatively, she could have accepted our offer from February 2020 and she would be getting $2100 in child support (with no alimony). Right now, she is getting a little bit more than that... but if she loses part 1 of my appeal (which seems VERY LIKELY)... she will only be getting $1900 per month in child support. And it cost her about $15,000 in legal fees to go to trial and lose. Then, if I win on part 2 of my appeal (which my lawyer feels really confident about... but I am not as confident), then she will be getting about $1800 per month.
That is, her lawyer has billed my ex-wife for tens of thousands of dollars to get less money and more parenting responsibility than what I was offering to settle.
I completely agree that xWW's attorney is terrible.
p.s. Part 1 of my appeal is straight-up math. It's not arguable. xWW's attorney tried like hell to make it seem like she deserved alimony in their brief to the appeals court. They listed some crazy-high value for my income (which is not accurate) and some crazy-low value for her income (which is not accurate) and they still didn't do the math!