SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

CJ-

As I am sure the answer would be no and I would be happily divorced now.

Today is a new day. I’m sorry to hear your life isn’t where it could be or should be — but you can still get there.

No harm in telling your wife everything you put in your post.

If she agrees with you — that she is unable to be a good partner — happily divorced is the way out.

Oldwounds thank you for your time and your reply.. Today is a new day.. Maybe one where I start honest communication with my WW to see if she is going to change.. I know i will never forget but I hope that with enough time I can mark it as just a period we went through to get to a much better marriage.

Hey CJ-

The best part of my life now is it’s bullshit free. I get to be honest with me everyday and never pretend to be anything for anyone.

I love being able to ditch the games or walking on eggshells or ‘hoping’ for the best.

You’re right, we’ll never forget what happened to us — but at some point — the Hell primarily lives in the past, where it belongs.

Your post hit hard, because I had that moment, when I didn’t want to tell my wife how I felt or what I really needed.

It sounds like you’re at your limit. That’s a start.

Telling her how you feel is great way to feel a tiny bit better.

If she stays on that fence she’s on, you have all the information you need.

Great post Oldwounds. Such a great contribution to this sight. This post will help others to make right decisions.

Lots of wisdom here; thank you!

Thank you OldWounds for yet another post that's helped me stay centered during my recovery.

My WS quoted you the other day: "Infidelity is a deal breaker. The only reason to stay is if there's a better deal." She's working hard to deliver on her side, and I'm working to trust the process and let go of the outcome.

Thank you OldWounds for yet another post that's helped me stay centered during my recovery.

Onward1 -

Thanks for the very kind words — I’ve learned a lot from the membership here, and people who helped me get back to center.

I thought I was fairly mindful until infidelity, but all of that was obliterated on discovery day.

I love philosophy in general, but I did find reading the Stoics the last 5-6 years has helped me a ton with my mindset. Their thoughts on tackling adversity and focus and understanding what we can and can’t control applies well to the modern era, at least to me.

Oldwounds this is very spot on when it comes to my experience too.

Your posts — sharing your experiences helped me a bunch, you and HoldingTogether, Sisoon, W2BHA, psychmom (and so many more) are all a part of my path back to better days!