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Reconciliation :
Another year...another Christmas present You can give Me!!!

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 Want2BHappyAgain (original poster member #45088) posted at 7:23 PM on Thursday, December 9th, 2021

It's that time of year again...when I make a SHAMELESS plea for MY Christmas present grin . I WANT to see the "Positive Reconciliation Stories" thread that is pinned at the TOP of this Forum get to page 28!! It really isn't all that hard to give it to me this year...only THREE positive stories and that page will turn smile .

I know all the excuses..."I don't feel we are fully reconciled yet". "I may jinx my reconciliation by posting about it". "No one will want to read MY positive story". "If I post a story then Want2BHappyAgain will never stop bugging me again".

Those excuses are all valid tongue ! But WHAT IF just ONE person in this world would be HELPED by YOUR story??? Would it be worth it then??? I can honestly tell you that YES...it would definitely be worth it smile . How do I know??? Because people have messaged ME telling me how one of my positive stories DID help them smile . Heck...those stories helped ME when I first came on here so many years ago!!! This site if FILLED with people who really want to HELP others survive infidelity. This is a PERFECT opportunity to reach out and HELP smile .

So get those thoughts going...think of something POSITIVE that has happened in YOUR R...and write a post about it smile . BS...WS...MH...it doesn't matter...SOMEONE will be HELPED by YOUR story...I gar-on-tee!!! If THREE stories are posted...it will help ME get my Christmas present grin !!

THANK YOU ALL in advance grin !!!

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 6673   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8703228
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Tanner ( Guide #72235) posted at 11:58 PM on Thursday, December 9th, 2021

So I have always thought this is where you plant the flag and proclaim we are reconciled!!! We have had many victories and progress in the past couple years but we are not reconciled.

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R BH M 33 years

posts: 3701   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8703270
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psychmom ( member #47498) posted at 2:00 PM on Friday, December 10th, 2021

I’ve gifted you, W2BHappy!!

I look at the positive R stories as a place to give hope to others, to share successes and small/large acts that help us keep on believing that we made the right choice to give R a shot. It’s not an easy path, so seeing others ahead of us on that path, sharing small snd bigger successes, can help us continue to plant one foot in front of the other.

I used to view R as a destination, but realize it’s really a journey and process. But if it works, there is a firmer foundation under your feet that feels much more safe and solid. Much appreciated after the shifting sand and slides down the slippery slope as we’re making our way along the earlier years of this journey.

In any case, I wanted to check in, and posting in Positive Reconciliation Stories seemed like the place to start. And it’s so nice to also see old friends here! smile

BS (me); fWH (both 50+; married 20 yr at the time; 2 DD DDay 1- 9/13/2014 (EA)- 3+ yrsDDay 2- 10/24/2014(PA2)-July'14-Sept'14DDay 3- 11/12/2014(PA1)-Oct-Feb '14Reconciled

posts: 4271   ·   registered: Apr. 10th, 2015   ·   location: Land of Renewed Peace of Mind
id 8703375
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 Want2BHappyAgain (original poster member #45088) posted at 2:05 PM on Friday, December 10th, 2021

Noooooooo...not reconciled...reconciling grin . Here is what moderator #10 posted on the first post:

This thread is for is ONLY FOR POSITIVE stories.

No venting.

No OP talk.

Strictly reconciling progress between couples. Share your stories as you heal. smile

For ME...it is MUCH easier to go back through that thread and see MY positive stories that showed the progress of our R than to go through my posts in Simplicity smile . I KNOW that every story I put in that thread is a POSITIVE one grin !!!

Also...THANK YOU Psychmom for posting that very positive story grin !!!

TWO more to go for me to get my Christmas present blink !!!

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 6673   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8703377
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 Want2BHappyAgain (original poster member #45088) posted at 3:51 PM on Friday, December 10th, 2021

We cross posted psychmom...so THANK YOU for posting on THIS thread too grin !!!

If anyone wants to see PROGRESS...y'all should start with psychmom's posts on that "Positive Reconciliation Stories" thread smile . She wrote a lot on that thread...and it's some really GOOD stuff too grin !!!

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 6673   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8703425
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Oldwounds ( member #54486) posted at 5:25 PM on Friday, December 10th, 2021

I used to view R as a destination, but realize it’s really a journey and process.

SO true! It took me a while to figure this part out, but it’s very important.

Nice work there at Psych HQ!

And while I will likely add an update to the W2BHA Wall of Fame (aka Positive Recon Stories) — I’ll hold off this Christmas, since I did my summer update.

However, I do think W2BHA has a point about HOW IMPORTANT that thread is.

R is hard, good or great R is even more rare it seems — but it does HAPPEN.

The way I grew up, I understood infidelity ALWAYS ended in D.

Five weeks after discovery and several other websites, books, MC and IC, I stumbled on SI.

More important is I found the ‘positive’ thread.

It gave me pause. It made me wonder if my M could be salvaged from the wreckage of infidelity.

It gave me hope.

I get it. Hope at times, is a dangerous thing. But it sure helped me. Helped my wife. Helped us get to a place we didn’t know was possible.

Thanks for W2BHA for working to keep that thread moving!

[This message edited by Oldwounds at 5:43 PM, Friday, December 10th]

Married 36+ years, together 41+ years
Two awesome adult sons.
Dday 6/16 4-year LTA Survived.
M Restored
"It is better to conquer our grief than to deceive it." — Seneca

posts: 4835   ·   registered: Aug. 4th, 2016   ·   location: Home.
id 8703479
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This0is0Fine ( member #72277) posted at 5:30 PM on Friday, December 10th, 2021

It's the least I could do.

Tomorrow is 2 year antiversary (see my registration date) so we will see if I feel the same tomorrow. Hahaha.

Love is not a measure of capacity for pain you are willing to endure for your partner.

posts: 2917   ·   registered: Dec. 11th, 2019
id 8703485
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 Want2BHappyAgain (original poster member #45088) posted at 6:38 PM on Friday, December 10th, 2021

This0is0Fine your positive story is PERFECT...thank you for sharing grin !!! You now have TWO positive stories on page 27!! I have to ask...do you still feel like you are in False R...like you mentioned in your other story way back in March??? From the way you wrote this last one...I would say...NO wink !!!

I will be praying for you for tomorrow Dear Sir. You've already gone through the first antiversary though...so this one should be a piece of cake smile .

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 6673   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8703503
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This0is0Fine ( member #72277) posted at 7:18 PM on Friday, December 10th, 2021

have to ask...do you still feel like you are in False R...like you mentioned in your other story way back in March??? From the way you wrote this last one...I would say...NO wink !!!

I didn't feel it was false at the time, still don't feel it is false R. Does anyone? That's a bit of uncertainty I just live with, but I would say it seems less likely now than before.

Love is not a measure of capacity for pain you are willing to endure for your partner.

posts: 2917   ·   registered: Dec. 11th, 2019
id 8703509
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 Want2BHappyAgain (original poster member #45088) posted at 7:34 PM on Friday, December 10th, 2021

TRUE. Thanks for that clarification grin !!

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 6673   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8703515
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The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 10:19 PM on Friday, December 10th, 2021

Happily reconciled - 8 years now. Last week was 8 years from dday2.

My H finally understood what his selfishness caused and he has worked hard to make amends. He has changed (positive change) so that is something to celebrate.

I changed too. I realize I’m stronger than I could imagine. I’m not afraid to face life head on. I’m not a coward.

Our life is good and we are blessed. It took 3 long hard years but I no longer live under the infidelity black cloud hanging over my head.

Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 11 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.

posts: 14638   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2017
id 8703544
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 Want2BHappyAgain (original poster member #45088) posted at 10:52 PM on Friday, December 10th, 2021

The1stWife...I've always LOVED your STRENGTH on here grin !! Your story is the PERFECT one for the saying on here about how you have to be willing to LOSE the M in order to SAVE it smile . Every time you write about it I can FEEL other BS's getting stronger because of it!!

If you post your story to that "Positive Reconciliation Stories" thread...it will turn the page to 28...just sayin' blink .

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 6673   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8703554
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 Want2BHappyAgain (original poster member #45088) posted at 2:28 PM on Tuesday, December 14th, 2021

OK people...the "Positive Reconciliation Stories" thread is hanging by a thread...to page 27. Just ONE MORE story will turn that page...and I will have my Christmas present grin .

WHO will it be blink ????

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 6673   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8704045
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HFSSC ( member #33338) posted at 10:00 PM on Tuesday, December 14th, 2021

Want2B,

Your gift is up there. ^^^^^^^^^

I hope it's the right size and color, lol.

Me, 56
Him, 48 (JMSSC)
Married 26 years. Reconciled.

posts: 4971   ·   registered: Sep. 12th, 2011   ·   location: South Carolina
id 8704144
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 Want2BHappyAgain (original poster member #45088) posted at 11:32 PM on Tuesday, December 14th, 2021

THANK YOU HFSSC grin !!! Not only did I get my Christmas present...EVERYONE on here got it with that AWESOME story you wrote...WOW!!!

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY too grin !!! A silver one at that smile . Here's to the NEXT 25...and getting the GOLD smile !!!

Having read your post about your sweet Daddy and his passing...it must have been really poignant to see that picture at this time (((HUGS))). You say you were loved so deeply by HIM...but from your words about him I can tell that HE was deeply loved by you as well smile . What a wonderful way to leave this world...knowing you are LOVED smile . From your faith that you share so freely with the rest of us...you know that you will see him again one GLORIOUS day. But God allows them to come to us in our dreams...and they can sure be wonderful...even if only for a while smile .

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 6673   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8704159
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