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It's not even 7:00 am yet and the day is pretty much ruined. WH is a MASSIVE Arnold Schwarzenegger fan, like worships him...and of course watched the Netflix special yesterday. Things have been tense (understatement) lately and I've spent the last week pretty much hiding upstairs to avoid the unpleasantness.

Well, Arnold's affair with the housekeeper came up this morning when I asked how the special was, just offhand, I didn't push it. My take is Arnold is a piece of shit. Full stop. My WH blamed Maria Shriver saying she was a rich stuck-up bitch probably and the housekeeper probably offered the required adoration. I refused to engage, just reiterated the piece of shit opinion.

Ugh! I fucking hate my life. Just a wee rant...

Sounds like your husband still blames the victim.
I guess he hasn't learned a thing.

So sorry. Those conversations are so tough.

We had the same fight - only ours was over Ethan Hawke. I believe he had an affair with his babysitter.

My argument was that he was uniquely horrible as affairs go. One because it was a cliche (my husband’s affair was with his secretary so this idea of a cliche is a big source of resentment). Two because he exploited his employee (as did my husband). Three because he involved his children (my husband went with AP to three places where there was a high likelihood he would see his children).

Anyway, this terrible fight shortly preceded my H coming forward with the fact that his supposed EA was actually a PA. So maybe something good can come of these fights, if they can gain insight.

It doesn’t sound like you thought your husband gained insight. Maybe he even felt validated.

I am on the fence whether them getting validated is ever a good thing. If it is something that moves them from shame (toxic) to plain vanilla guilt (much healthier emotion) then maybe it is okay. Yes lots of people have affairs. It doesn’t make them any less cruel.

It sounds like your H’s obsession with Arnold was particularly unhelpful in this situation. Especially if Arnold was unremorseful which it sounds like he was.

Oh, he certainly still blames me and has remorse that "him needing to cheat because I'm apparently an awful wife" hurt me. He's not sorry he did it at all.These days we just try not to talk to each other very much.

Stillconfused2022: NOT ETHAN HAWKE! Ugh! How did I miss that?! I love(d) him. Please tell me Christian Bale hasn't cheated! lol

I don't say much anymore about shit like this but Arnold rankles me how completely entitled he comes off.

Sorry to disappoint you but Christian bale did cheat on his fiance in laurel canyon. He is no saint either.

(((NorthernMSB))) it would be awful to hear that dribble. That's the kind of stuff that raises my blood pressure.

Oh, he certainly still blames me and has remorse that "him needing to cheat because I'm apparently an awful wife" hurt me. He's not sorry he did it at all.These days we just try not to talk to each other very much.

May I ask why you stay with him?

[This message edited by crazyblindsided at 7:21 PM, Thursday, June 8th]

Curious if it makes sense to stay. Doesn’t sound like your WS gets it. Arnold had a choice…

Shrivel could be a horrible person, evil, smelly,…and it doesn’t matter. He could have ended the relationship.

I would be surprised if your husband didn’t side with Arnold or showed a shred of empathy for Maria Shriver. Your husband, like these cheating celebrities, thinks he’s the center of the universe and is entitled to constant and unequivocal adoration. Anything less is cruelty.

You seem like such an awesome woman and I have no idea why you’re still with him.

I am so sorry your husband still has that mindset. I don’t think a truly repentant cheater can find any situations where cheating is justifiable. I watched the Arnold special and I found him to be very sincere. He mentioned his cheating to be the biggest failure of his life on a much different realm than any other F ups. He also mentioned having to live with the knowledge of the pain he caused Maria and his kids for the rest of his life. I didn’t hear any hints and justifications.

Full stop - I am a HUGE Arnold fan. HUGE. He's been my celebrity crush since I've been a teen. I mean - while all my friends were watching The Outsiders and picking which one they'd want - I was watching Conan. Chaos doesn't play.

I'm going to watch the documentary. And will brace myself for the part about the scandal.

Full stop - it was his fault and his fault alone. He is a philanderer. Probably a serial one. IDGAF is Maria was a saint or Hades reincarnate - not a reason to cheat.

I will be watching and listening and most likely enjoy it. All the while knowing what I'll be watching. I will probably watch with WH. And will check back if any good discussion sparks.

I did watch the special and Arnold did say everything you would expect. But I was also a bodybuilder fan back in the day (he wasn't my favorite but I admired his physique) and remember the disappointment when that scandal broke.

I still like him as an actor, well as a movie star, he's far from an actor. But still disappointed. And I get VERY pissy when my husband makes any remark these days supporting that bullshit or says "maybe he had a good reason." Fuck that.

It's funny, I got a very interesting peek into my husband's interior makeup yesterday. He's on a trip until Tuesday in his hometown visiting his parents and went out last night to the local watering hole. He used to be king stud in town, the golden boy who prided himself on never having to work for a woman. He was texting me random stuff and then suddenly I got the following:

Saw two girls I went to high school with. They said hi then brushed me off. They always thought their shit didn’t stink, and time hasn’t been kind. lol

They should have been nicer since time has not worked out for them lol

Fuck em They were snobs when we were younger and they haven’t changed and they should be happy I even said hi to them.

I was going to stop at XX’s house. She lives 2 minutes from the bar and her and those chicks were sitting on her porch, so I didn’t. Fuck them. Snobs

What the hell? I'm not even sure WHY the texts felt like something revealing about him, but they do. Seems like rampant insecurity, right? Gross certainly and maybe a bit of insight into why he thinks cheating is okay.

Oh well, off to work out and enjoy a glass of wine in my peaceful house.

I’m sorry NorthernMSB but your husband sounds like a pig. Why does he feel entitled to be greeted warmly by these women? And why is he so comfortable bitching about the cold shoulder he received to you, his betrayed wife? How do you stomach this?