SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Let’s say he loves you and can’t live without you.

What about the disrespect he showed you - how is he accounting for that?

Yes, I am trying to tell myself that I shouldn’t be dragging this and I don’t deserve any of this. All I asked for was bare minimum and he couldn’t even provided the basic parameters of a marriage.
The minute I am home after work, all my thought processes and work goes into drain and I am back to asking him the same questions again and again. And he again told me that I need to stop harrasing him by bringing up the same topic every day.

I think I need to work on myself and find strategies to help me to stay away from having any sort of communication related to this. I need to keep it to what matters now- which are our kids. But then he tries to make small talks and act of love, and that’s where I loose myself, again.

JB:
The1stWife has it right, 'My guess is he continues this behavior because he doesn’t think you will ever leave him.'
(My XWH most likely felt the same as he kept all that same behavior until after we divorced and separated. NOW he is telling our kids that he is miserable and that he doesn't want this.)
My guess is that a month out is your best timing to get away from your WH. Check into your legal options and the 180.

Ahh! I can’t cope with this. It’s too much. Everytime when I say something (I keep it to myself 95% of the time), he gets annoyed that why I keep bringing it up as it’s been a month already.
Anyways, I do not see myself trusting him again as there are no grounds or morality. I asked him yesterday if he sees us together in next 5 years, he said if the things stays like this (my intense reaction) his answer is "no"
It’s funny how now it’s him deciding and I don’t get to react to the pain I am feeling.
I am so so so heartbroken and empty from inside :(

Ahh! I can’t cope with this. It’s too much. Everytime when I say something (I keep it to myself 95% of the time), he gets annoyed that why I keep bringing it up as it’s been a month already.
Anyways, I do not see myself trusting him again as there are no grounds or morality. I asked him yesterday if he sees us together in next 5 years, he said if the things stays like this (my intense reaction) his answer is "no"
It’s funny how now it’s him deciding and I don’t get to react to the pain I am feeling.
I am so so so heartbroken and empty from inside :(

Jelly, a question sister.

Are you doing the pick me dance?

As in trying to show your opennes to reconciliation with the cheater, hoping they will come around?

There are ways to do that, including even showing your hurt as you would do to a partner so they would come around and take care of you (seems the case).

Just asking because it does not work. It never works.

When they are in their cheater self, they don’t act like a normal person does.

Isn’t even entirely true they don’t give a fuck, perhaps they do but the shame and ego take over on autopilot.

A weak person sees others vulnerability as weakness, and a broken ego farms that to feel uplifted by stomping on you to feel strong.

There aren’t many things in this world that are as weak and pathetic as a cheater.

So if he sees you vulnerable he will take the chance of abusing you to feel powerful.
Because he is now confident you aren’t going to,leave him. Because he is sure he got away with no consequences. He doesn’t care of any price to pay because he sees you are paying the emotional toll and he is perfectly fine and happy to let you get emotionally bankrupt.

Read about the 180 and implement it hard.
He doesn’t deserve any emotions mercy right now.

Treat him like an incumbency for logistic and a necessary bother, save your emotional energy for yourself, for he doesn’t deserve a drop more of neither your feeling nor your tears.

You will see what happens soon.