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brighten our day with online dating stories

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OngoingProcess posted 4/29/2016 13:04 PM

I have a few...

The guy who IM almost as soon as I signed up (I forget which site). Some nice back and forth banter. Then he asked me if I was breast feeding. Apparently that is a fetish?!?

The Tall: Guy over 6'5. Met at a local chain restaurant after many great telephone calls. Absolutely no spark in person. As we were leaving, he turns to me and tells me I need to learn how to flirt. I told him I know how but I had nothing to work with at the moment

And the Short of it: Nice guy, profile says 5'4. I'm 5'3. Who am I to judge a person based on height. Tuns out he was more like 5 feet minus 4 inches. And about 50 pounds lighter than me. I wanted to scoop him up and rock him to sleep after he started bawling about his ex...

On the other hand, I met my current fiance on Match. But that was after 2 months of phone calls, texts and extensive FaceBook and Linked in snooping!

OngoingProcess posted 4/29/2016 13:06 PM

VeryUncertain, if it was a guy from NYC who played Rugby it may have been my brother. He liked to shock people and see how they acted. Didn't out work very well for him...

VeryUncertain posted 4/29/2016 14:53 PM

LOL, Ongoing, we didn't have a conversation. I swear my friends, and the whole dance floor, stopped to look at me to gauge my reaction. I simply looked at him quizzically, turned around, wiped my face, and resumed my good times with my friends.

No idea if he played rugby.

thebighurt posted 4/29/2016 22:03 PM

Reading.... and taking notes!

OutoftheDeep posted 4/30/2016 11:52 AM

A guy messaged me and then we moved onto phone talks for several days with plans to meet. Until...he said I have a little girl voice and asked me who molested me to make me want to talk that way.

Then, planned to meet a guy who was going on about his chipped tooth, saying it was a just a little chipped tooth but he was self conscience about it. I should have forced him to send me a pic with his teeth, but he looked good otherwise so I felt weird making him feel more self conscience. Well, he was practically missing teeth, then he barely had any money to pay for his share of the meal. Then, he wanted me to buy him a brand name bottle of whiskey from Walmart. I ditched him when he went to use the bathroom. I know it sounds mean but... And btw, his pics were misleading he wasn't even good looking really.

One guy messaged me with the comment "need sex, help". That's it. Like a shipwreck survivor sending out one of those SOS signals. And he was good looking and looked normal in his pictures. What the holy f***....

rosie437 posted 4/30/2016 13:13 PM

Great post ideas- these are hilarious, though they do make me want to stay single forever!

I'm not even dating yet but I still have a funny one to share...

A few weeks ago, I met up with a guy that I was considering doing a business deal with. We'd talked before, he knew I was going through a divorce but I didn't think anything of it. When we met up, he immediately asked about the divorce, which I gave generic answers to. He then proceeded to tell me how he was on medication b/c of an allergy to something. I thought it was weird he was sharing this but just politely nodded and said something like 'oh, that's too bad' to which he responded 'I haven't slept with anyone, or even kissed anyone in at least 4 months so I know it's not an STD' (he had hives). that a normal conversation for a business meeting?? I can only imagine what my face must have looked like. Maybe his allergy drugs were clouding his brain??

I left laughing, no business deal of any sort though.

[This message edited by rosie437 at 1:14 PM, April 30th (Saturday)]

Runninggirl911 posted 4/30/2016 13:49 PM

"""I wanted to scoop him up and rock him to sleep after he started bawling about his ex..."""

Runninggirl911 posted 4/30/2016 13:58 PM

I was talking to a guy from match. He was good looking, great job, seemed to be a great catch....

At one point during our "getting to know you" phase, he asked if I got pedicures. I said "yes, why do you ask?"
He explained that he likes to date girls that get pedicures because it shows they take care of themselves. Ok. Interesting. A few days later, he asked me to send him a picture of my feet. I obliged. Then, he started talking about my feet and wanting to lick my toes. Ok. Bit Strange. But he was oh so good looking so, I let it slide. A few days later, I get a random text from him, "send me another pic of your feet". Again. I sent one. We went out a few times and he always talked about my feet and would ask me to send him pics...of my feet.

Turns out, he was more interested in my feet.

anonymousmale posted 4/30/2016 14:05 PM

LOL. I mean, foot fetish is a real thing for some folks. Dude clearly had one. Was he otherwise normal? If a woman asked me to send pics of my feet, I'd stage them in all sorts of erotic toe poses just to make fun of the situation lol

[This message edited by anonymousmale at 2:06 PM, April 30th (Saturday)]

Runninggirl911 posted 4/30/2016 19:48 PM

Lol!! I should've done that!! Staged my feet!! Yes!

Not sure I really got to know him, after 3 dates, all he was interested in was my feet! We went out in the summertime, Not sure what he does during boot season!

GabyBaby posted 4/30/2016 20:05 PM

Not sure what he does during boot season!
He probably whips out all those foot photos and strokes them lovingly while chanting, "My precious" in Gollum's voice.

Runninggirl911 posted 4/30/2016 20:24 PM

Williesmom posted 5/1/2016 07:10 AM

Another one from me. I swear I could write a book....

I met a guy online, and after messaging we went on a date. We met at a bar in his part of town. As we were walking to my car, he asked if I wanted to come to his place. I declined and he said "c'mon! The first one is free!"

Uh, definitely no. At least he made me laugh. We actually kept in touch and were fwb's for about 2 years. He still randomly texts me asking for tit pictures. I wonder why he can't form long term attachments?

Ziggygal posted 5/2/2016 08:25 AM

OMG! These are too funny!! I am just starting my foray into OLD. I will have to share as I find one's to share.

Actually, one man messaged me saying "pick me, pick me, pick me". I deleted his message without responding.

Oh, and another guy, really wants to see my hands and feet! I get we are all a little weird but some are just not shy about it at all!!

Ziggygal posted 5/2/2016 10:55 AM

I just got this message:

Hi, can I ask you a questions why won't anyone talk to me?

Does he really think that will elicit a response? No thanks!
Sorry this stuff is too funny! Maybe I am a b*&ch but that's just too much!

tryingagain74 posted 5/2/2016 15:11 PM

Just had to add this. I got this message on my OLD site today:

"Found anyone yet?"

Um, no I haven't, but it sure as heck isn't going to be you!

ADryHeat posted 5/2/2016 15:17 PM

Not sure what he does during boot season!
He probably whips out all those foot photos and strokes them lovingly while chanting, "My precious" in Gollum's voice.

Oh, shoot, did runninggirl and I date the same guy?

TheBest posted 5/2/2016 17:06 PM

Oh OLD...mine are pretty tame. I mostly run into unavailable women, broken women, or people trying to catfish me. Be honest with your pictures. I hate the deceitful stuff. Do they really think I won't notice?

I find a lot of separated women. Nope, not doing that. There are a lot of single moms out there or the 80/20. Men should really step up more in that department.

I had one that I canceled on Sunday and she sort of yelled at me via text. We never had firm plans and I was really just not feeling it. Well I blocked her. I don't need the extra crazy.

I had another women who was planning our children before we'd even met.

The disappearing act happens a lot. I think that's happening with one right now. Hard to tell but my gut is normally right.

EvenKeel posted 5/3/2016 12:41 PM

Usually the ones looking for hook-ups are pretty clear....but I had one a couple months ago that actually came across very normal for a couple weeks of messaging. There was never any innuendos. He had a real job, vehicle, house, etc. All flags seemed green.

Fast forward a couple weeks and I get a very out-of-the-blue text that only says "Do you want me to cum over and meat you tonight?"

He followed up with "You know exactly what I mean", you know, just incase I missed the point.


FaithFool posted 5/3/2016 12:42 PM

Oh dear. Some people are just too strange.

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