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Reconciliation :
Wife starting new job today...

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 OrdinaryDude (original poster member #55676) posted at 2:23 PM on Monday, October 23rd, 2017

Today my wife is entering the workforce for the first time since our kids were in grade school (our youngest is now 22), so our lives are about to change, really change.

Our schedules will be all over the place, thank God there are no kids in the mix at this point.

And yes, I'm a little apprehensive about this, but its what we need both financially and from a time stand point...I'd rather her have a regular job and want to come back home to be with me than have too much free time on her hands. That didn't work out well before.

So any spare mojo would be appreciated.

I was young and dumb and stayed with a cheater.

posts: 3427   ·   registered: Oct. 19th, 2016   ·   location: U.S.
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sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 3:05 PM on Monday, October 23rd, 2017

Mojo sent for the work to strengthen your M, and for a happy, successful work life (for both of you).

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex apDDay - 12/22/2010Recover'd and R'edYou don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 31107   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8005937
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TimelessLoss ( member #55295) posted at 3:10 PM on Monday, October 23rd, 2017

OD,

Spare mojo headed your way. I get your apprehension. Did you use that word purposefully?

Instead of anxiety?

Talk through it with her. The feeling is valid. What would offer you reassurance?

"You've got to learn to leave the table when love is no longer being served"

posts: 1649   ·   registered: Sep. 23rd, 2016
id 8005939
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 OrdinaryDude (original poster member #55676) posted at 3:34 PM on Monday, October 23rd, 2017

I don’t need to tell her, she can sense it...and I don’t want to taint the experience for her either, she’s very excited.

I was young and dumb and stayed with a cheater.

posts: 3427   ·   registered: Oct. 19th, 2016   ·   location: U.S.
id 8005965
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LyraM ( member #60666) posted at 4:03 PM on Monday, October 23rd, 2017

I wish you calmness and strength, her I wish good luck and a positive workplace with fulfilling work. It will be ok.

WS

posts: 54   ·   registered: Sep. 17th, 2017
id 8005992
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dostl10 ( member #58597) posted at 4:12 PM on Monday, October 23rd, 2017

Best of luck. Sending all the good vibes I've got.

posts: 743   ·   registered: May. 5th, 2017
id 8005997
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Want2BHappyAgain ( member #45088) posted at 4:20 PM on Monday, October 23rd, 2017

Sending LOTS of mojo and prayers y'alls way !!!

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 6673   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8006003
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Oldwounds ( member #54486) posted at 4:24 PM on Monday, October 23rd, 2017

Mojo does NOT grow on trees.

But if you need any from me, you got it O.D.

Boundaries do need to be tested now and again, hers and yours. May it all go as smoothly as life allows.

And when it goes well, more money for that next non-kid vacation...

Married 36+ years, together 41+ years
Two awesome adult sons.
Dday 6/16 4-year LTA Survived.
M Restored
"It is better to conquer our grief than to deceive it." — Seneca

posts: 4882   ·   registered: Aug. 4th, 2016   ·   location: Home.
id 8006009
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waitedwaytoolong ( member #51519) posted at 4:43 PM on Monday, October 23rd, 2017

Best of luck with this. Must be exciting!

I am the cliched husband whose wife had an affair with the electrician

Divorced

posts: 2236   ·   registered: Jan. 26th, 2016
id 8006028
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psychmom ( member #47498) posted at 5:38 PM on Monday, October 23rd, 2017

I've got some not-too-bruised-up mojo I am sending your way, OD! A small celebration planned for the end of the week or some other way to acknowledge this big step in your new relationship? All the best to you!

BS (me); fWH (both 50+; married 20 yr at the time; 2 DD DDay 1- 9/13/2014 (EA)- 3+ yrsDDay 2- 10/24/2014(PA2)-July'14-Sept'14DDay 3- 11/12/2014(PA1)-Oct-Feb '14Reconciled

posts: 4271   ·   registered: Apr. 10th, 2015   ·   location: Land of Renewed Peace of Mind
id 8006076
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99problems ( member #59373) posted at 5:43 PM on Monday, October 23rd, 2017

Oddly enough, my wife started a new job today as well. I am feeling all of your feels today.

Her A's were all co-workers so I do have some anxiety over that.

Got me a new forum name!<BR />Formerly Idiotmcstupid.<BR />I am divorced, so not as much of an idiot now- 4/15/21,

posts: 1010   ·   registered: Jun. 26th, 2017   ·   location: Somewhere
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rickwman ( new member #60996) posted at 8:52 PM on Monday, October 23rd, 2017

Hi, I totally understand your situation. My wife was at home with our kids for over 30 years. We've been married for 35 years. It's what she wanted and it worked out great with everyone. Forgot to mention we have 8 kids. Once our kids grew up and were out of the house, she enjoyed her freedom and now works part-time, less than 15 hours a week. She also has the flexibility to do things with her friends or anything else. She deserves it! My motto has always been 'happy wife, happy home'. It's still my motto.

I'll pray that you and your wife continue to do the right thing; to preserve your marriage and relationship. That money doesn't block the blessings that are on the both of you.

posts: 14   ·   registered: Oct. 10th, 2017
id 8006269
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 OrdinaryDude (original poster member #55676) posted at 2:13 AM on Tuesday, October 24th, 2017

Thanks all!

First day was orientation...company policies and procedures, etc...you know how that goes, lol.

Now it’s just the logistics of our schedules that will need to be worked out as we go, so I’ll be doing some cooking and laundry too now.

I was young and dumb and stayed with a cheater.

posts: 3427   ·   registered: Oct. 19th, 2016   ·   location: U.S.
id 8006536
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Skan ( member #35812) posted at 2:22 AM on Tuesday, October 24th, 2017

I’ll be doing some cooking and laundry too

I *love* a man who knows how to use power tools!

You guys got this. Much mojo, schedule making, and division of house-labor between the two of you!

Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012


posts: 11513   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2012   ·   location: So California
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 OrdinaryDude (original poster member #55676) posted at 4:49 AM on Tuesday, October 24th, 2017

I actually enjoy cooking from time to time.

The weather is finally starting to cool off, though it never really gets “cold” here, even still it’s about time for a pot of my home made chili.

I was young and dumb and stayed with a cheater.

posts: 3427   ·   registered: Oct. 19th, 2016   ·   location: U.S.
id 8006625
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Want2BHappyAgain ( member #45088) posted at 4:30 AM on Wednesday, October 25th, 2017

A few more days like this...and I will get out my gumbo pot...AIYEEEE!!!

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 6673   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8007538
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 OrdinaryDude (original poster member #55676) posted at 6:05 AM on Wednesday, October 25th, 2017

Gumbo is something I have not yet learned, though I want to.

I’m a transplant here so it’s not something I grew up making.

[This message edited by OrdinaryDude at 12:06 AM, October 25th (Wednesday)]

I was young and dumb and stayed with a cheater.

posts: 3427   ·   registered: Oct. 19th, 2016   ·   location: U.S.
id 8007572
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Want2BHappyAgain ( member #45088) posted at 8:47 AM on Wednesday, October 25th, 2017

We can swap recipes . My FWH doesn't seem to like the "hormel" chili I make !!!

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 6673   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8007612
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 OrdinaryDude (original poster member #55676) posted at 9:19 AM on Wednesday, October 25th, 2017

W2BHA...I can do that!

Wife’s first actual day of work went well, I guess she made a good impression as both of the owners have made it a point to stop by and see her both days thus far.

She will be flipping shifts as the week goes on so she can learn each shifts procedures...so she gets a taste of what I’ve always had to do. I think she will gain a little perspective and appreciation for all the time I’ve spent at work over the years to provide for her and the kids.

I was young and dumb and stayed with a cheater.

posts: 3427   ·   registered: Oct. 19th, 2016   ·   location: U.S.
id 8007617
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 OrdinaryDude (original poster member #55676) posted at 10:40 PM on Sunday, October 29th, 2017

Mama's at work and I'm makin' CHILI!!!

O,D.'s Chili

2 Tablespoons Olive Oil

2 - 3 cloves of Garlic, crushed

1 large Spanish Onion, chopped

2 - 2 1/2 lbs of very lean ground meat (90%+, turkey, or our preference, venison)

1 can or bottle of beer

2 Tablespoons Chili Powder

About 2 cups of chopped peppers, medium to mild salad peppers. Chili peppers, Hungarian Hot Wax, Banana Peppers, Red Cherry Peppers...whatever is seasonal or on hand. I often use poblano and serrano if its all I can get.

If you want it really hot, add a chopped Jalapeno, seeds removed. No Bell peppers if you don't have to.

4 to 8 Medium to large dried Cayenne Peppers, cut with kitchen sheers

1 Family Size can of Campbell's Tomato Soup

1 Can Rotell

1 Small (4 oz) can of sliced mushrooms, stems and pieces

1 Can (10.5 oz) can Frijoles beans, drained

2 cans (10.5 oz) Diced Stewed Tomatoes

Chop all peppers, except Cayenne Peppers, put into a bowl.

In a large roasting pan heat 2 tablespoons of olive oil, add the chopped onion and crushed garlic, saute just to tender.

Add the ground meat, keep turning while it browns. When the meat is close to being done, add the whole bottle of beer.

Stir and let simmer, 10 - 15 Minutes so the beer flavor cooks into the meat.

Add chili powder, all chopped peppers, cut cayenne peppers with kitchen sheers into pot, stir well, simmer 5 - 10 more minutes.

Add tomato soup, stewed tomatoes, Rotell, mushrooms, and beans.

Stir well, let simmer a minimum of 2 hours, stirring frequently.

If you use a slow cooker, you do not have to stir as often.

The longer it cooks the more the flavors meld together.

We consider this "medium" heat....Some may not.

Its not completely home-made from scratch, but it works.

I was young and dumb and stayed with a cheater.

posts: 3427   ·   registered: Oct. 19th, 2016   ·   location: U.S.
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