Hi guys
Today i talked to a female co worker.
She is new.
She is a divorced single mom.
Actually she was crying in her car in the parking lot.
So i asked her whats wrong? Why she is crying??
Then after some time she came out of the car.
Then we started conversation .
She was crying because her XBH(yeah she cheated on him) is now another womans husband.
Today was his wedding.
Her story is
That She was happy with her XBH.
There was no reason to cheat.
Her XBH was loving and caring husband.
According to her she was satisfied in her marriage
She still do not understand why she cheated.
The background is she started working after being a SAHM (for some years because of her daughter)
So AP was a Coworker.
So her story was also similar to many of us.
OM wooed her for sometime and then full blown affair for 9 months or more.
At the same time she was happy with her husband
She was also trying to end it but could not(maybe enjoying the attention by another man other than her husband
Her own words)
So The Affair Ended when she got served divorce papers at the work.
At the same time her marriage also ended.
After getting served she came home but her husband was not there.
He had already left with his stuff.
So she started calling him but No Response
After 3 days her sister in law came to the house.
(XBH sister is a divorce lawyer.)
She told her that XBh know she was having an affair and wants divorce.
And wants 50 50 custody
He wants an amicable divorce.
XBH took the daughter for next three days to spend time with her father.
Her sister in law is a widow has two childern
XBH is staying with her.(now got his place near her)
So XBH sister did all the work
She was in shock.lost the job and never fought the divocre(maybe because she wasn't mentally well) recently got a job now.her parents helped her with money.
Its been a year and 5 months.
So since DDay or getting papers served day or whatever you call.
She was trying to contact the BH.but he never responded.
Not even a single contact.
She goes to sister in law home but he never came outside.
XBH sister put a Restraining order against her.
So she cannot meet him
Her XBh is contact with her only throught his sister.
So her sister is doing everything regarding the daughter(she pick and drop) of his brother(very possessive sister)
So this was her story now he is married to someone else
And she is still deeply in love with him
Dont even kniw how to move on.
Too much guilt and other sh't.
My GF said that this is marriage fog.
I asked "a what?"
She explained it with the example of affair fog.
When WS get caught and forced to establish a NC with AP abruptly.They try to find a closure
The opposite is
Her marriage ended.
Her BH established a NC.
And She is getting Carzy to talk to him.
When there is no problem in marriage and there is a love between husband and wife but one person is cheating(ofcourse we all know now that no marriage is perfect and happy people cheat too).just imagine suddenly a betreyed spouse leave.
The effect will be immense.
Because her affair was fantasy based on lies and lust. But her marriage was based on love and truth.
That is what happening to her.
My gf called this a marriage fog(its funny right) and it will take longer time.
So what you guys say??
Sorry for longer post.