SurvivingInfidelity.com® > Just Found Out

Batshitcrazy posted 4/16/2018 20:39 PM

Even the ugly truth will set you free.

PricklePatch posted 4/16/2018 21:35 PM

Zoe,

I am glad you have seen some progress. I am sorry you have to go deal with the packing and stress of everything. If things start getting to much call a timeout. Leave the room and take a breather.

Stevesn posted 4/17/2018 06:42 AM

I'm seeing him as a more selfish and self-pitying person than I realized before. I don't know if that can change.

Zoe

I’m glad your eyes are starting to open on what he truly is.

Great work on getting into IC and delving into these issues and getting the help you need. Your work there will be invaluable to you. I think you are starting to understand that you cannot lead him out of infidelity.

He needs to find that remorse all on his own. If he doesn’t there is no hope for R. And if he does, you cannot do the work to create R for him. You cannot tell him how to make you feel safe in the relationship again. Only he can figure that out.

And make sure you push yourselves to complete your job search. Having a sense of purpose will help you move on with things.

As for going back to Germany, I wonder if you can convince your sister or a close friend to go with you and help you. I think you can use the support both emotionally and physically.

My spidey senses tell me he’s going to disappoint you again, either by confirming that he has NOT been NC with the OW or by saying he cannot leave with you and his life truly is there.

I’ve said it before, a WS who is determined on saving his M would have shown up at your door on his knees, hellbent on doing what he can to right the wrong he has performed against you. He still values a job that at the very least keeps him in touch with the AP and at worst helps him to continue the A.

I hope that these last 2 months away have shown you there is life after this man and you can have a happier one without him.

Keep doing the good work. You’re on the right path.

[This message edited by Stevesn at 1:30 PM, April 18th (Wednesday)]

Stevesn posted 5/2/2018 13:32 PM

Hey Zoe. It’s been a few weeks and I thought I’d check in and see how you were doing.

When is your trip back to Germany? Any chance your sister or friend can travel back with you to help and to make sure WH doesn’t suck you back into his Infidelity?

How has lifebuilding been going? There are so many great options of things to do in the world. And people too. Take your time and explore as many as possible ....

Strength.