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Home From Deployment to Hell

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LtCdrLost posted 4/13/2018 17:42 PM

Do you have a plan to talk to her or are you intending on minimal/no contact for kids/divorce?

We have no children, Rockstar. I have no intention of speaking to her again, aside from what may be required legally. She's dead to me. I've known for months, I think, that there was no path back from this. It was part of the compartmentalization I did back in the second week of December, after the first confirmed proof was in my hands.

Shattereddd posted 4/13/2018 17:45 PM

Wow, so much respect for you. I wish I had had your strength on DDay.

And thank you for your service.

StillStanding1 posted 4/13/2018 17:51 PM

What a day. You handled it remarkably well, as I was certain you would.

The emotional crash is likely to hit now. Great that you will be with friends tonight. Be careful with alcohol. I went out one night and thought I could handle it, but alcohol weakened my strong exterior and I crumbled. I know your friends will understand though. Glad you have support. You havenít mentioned your own family though. Iím hoping you have a supportive network there as well.

Youíve done really really well my heart hurts with you today. Be well.

Booyah posted 4/13/2018 17:51 PM

LtC so sorry you had to tell her parents (and to play an audio in order for her mother to believe it). It had to be done however, but we know it wasn't easy.

Glad you're going to be with friends tonight.

LtCdrLost posted 4/13/2018 17:52 PM

StillStanding, I don't drink. I feel a big let-down coming, I've lived in the "right now" for months on end. Now I'm just another cuckolded husband...

[This message edited by LtCdrLost at 11:49 PM, April 16th (Monday)]

imagoodwitch posted 4/13/2018 17:54 PM

Well, we are here for you when those pesky emotions rear their ugly heads.

Hitting the gym often will benefit you greatly in the days to come.

IceThee posted 4/13/2018 17:56 PM

Dear LCL, I mourn with you. Sending a gentle hug and encouragement. This too shall pass. Allow the pain to come, no matter how awful it seems.

LtCdrLost posted 4/13/2018 17:59 PM

Imagood, I hit the ironpile 5-6 days a week regularly. I'll be continuing that. Tonight I'm in the company of comrades. I'm getting the biggest slab of medium rare beef on the menu and starting my life anew as of today, Friday April the 13th 2018. I want to thank you all for your kind comments and your support.

[This message edited by LtCdrLost at 11:49 PM, April 16th (Monday)]

MidnightRun posted 4/13/2018 18:00 PM

Have a steak.

Decompress.

Sleep.

StillStanding1 posted 4/13/2018 18:03 PM

Now I'm just another cuckolded husband...

Umm, no. No, youíre not. You got yourself out of that position as quickly and firmly as Iíve ever witnessed. Yours will become the ďgo toĒ thread on how NOT to allow yourself to become a cuckold. So put that identifier in the trash heap of history. You donít get to wear that ďbadgeĒ.

You, sir, are a true inspiration for all those BS struggling to be strong and take a firm stand against infidelity.

Glad you donít drink. Enjoy the camaraderie and support tonight. Be kind to yourself as you begin to process all of this.

LtCdrLost posted 4/13/2018 18:06 PM

Standing in what used to be our bedroom looking at what was our marital bed, I sure felt that way today. Fucking emasculated is how I felt...

Freeme posted 4/13/2018 18:11 PM

Just want to add that you are amazing. You are doing everything right...even if it's much harder. You seem to have all of you i dotted and t crossed.

I have to say I'd have a hard time not looking at listening to the text/voice mail... what could she have to say at this point? Ignoring them is better its a rabbit hole that will only drag you down and cause more pain.

WilliamM posted 4/13/2018 18:11 PM

I understand you don't want to talk to her. But I would have to talk to her one time. You are stronger than I am. I would have listened to the messages and read the texts because I would have wanted to know her response to everything.

MidnightRun posted 4/13/2018 18:13 PM

You're a man--the other guy is a chump. You won in the end. Your stbxw would lynch her boyfriend if you gave the order.

She's been struck senseless.

tmacfire posted 4/13/2018 18:14 PM

Lt you have handled a horrible situation wonderfully. From someone who didn't, I wish I had done what you had done, a quick decisive line that you drew and stuck to. That is anything but emasculated, you showed a set of brass balls and have taken care of you. We can't control what they do, only our response and yours sir is epic!

HardenMyHeart posted 4/13/2018 18:14 PM

Fucking emasculated is how I felt...
Yes, it hurts like hell. I'm sorry. You will get through this. Sending strength.

RippedSoul posted 4/13/2018 18:20 PM

((((LtCdrLost))))

homewrecked2011 posted 4/13/2018 18:20 PM

Yeah, my xh brought OW into our bed-AND he set me up to become friends with her.
I finally, finally, realized thereís something horribly wrong with him. And heís selfish.
I also realized I just canít begin to understand the depth of his stupidity, and insane behavior, as Iím not wired that way. And when I thought about it, it set me back.
Keep moving forward. Youíve done nothing wrong.

[This message edited by homewrecked2011 at 6:54 PM, April 13th (Friday)]

ZenMumWalking posted 4/13/2018 18:20 PM

I feel a big let-down coming

Yes, once the adrenaline of all that planning goes down, don't be surprised if there is a big dip in the rollercoaster.

I understand that you may feel emasculated, but you are not less of a man. Whore wife is the big loser here, because she did not appreciate the bounty that she had in you. She allowed herself to be a cum dumpster with a cheater. She thought she could get away with it and that you would be none the wiser, but you smashed that imaginary reality to smithereens. And now she's thinking that she can rope you back in.

You are not being cuckolded. You have gotten yourself out of infidelity. You will continue to heal, but don't be afraid to let your emotions out when they come. It will help with your healing, you know?

I'm sorry you had to go into your bedroom, it must have been hell with the mind movies. I completely understand wanting to vomit. I hope that you are never in the situation where you have to enter the house again.

Enjoy your time off and SD. You deserve it.

MidnightRun posted 4/13/2018 18:31 PM

OM screwed over his wife and young kids by fucking a married woman whose loyal husband was away serving his country.

I ask you, Who's the real man in this scenario?

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