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GraceLove posted 7/11/2018 19:43 PM

I'd like to know what people did with their wedding dresses and wedding rings.

I am thinking of selling the dress. I also thought of cutting it up as I am going to be doing some anger therapy around this whole situation. It's a nice dress though and it could be of use to someone else. Maybe a donation.

As for the rings, I thought of creating a 'freedom ring' using the melted down gold and diamonds. I had a friend create some designs for me, that were quite nice. However, I am not sure because I don't know if I want that old energy on me. Just not sure what to do with them. They cost 4K, 27 years ago so they are worth something (monetarily speaking of course).

WhoTheBleep posted 7/11/2018 19:57 PM

Good question. My dress and rings are collecting dust. And I know what you mean about the negative energy...just not sure what to do.

Wiserallthetime posted 7/11/2018 20:26 PM

I have no idea what I will eventually do with the rings - I have the engagement one, the wedding band, and an anniversary one. I am pretty certain the anniversary one is not worth as much as xwh implied, that is is cz's instead of diamonds, too, so probably worth more as melted down gold than otherwise.

On the dress, there are some organizations that take wedding dresses and use the fabric to create burial clothing for still-born/died young infants so the families have something that nice for the child. I am considering this once I find something to do with the train, as that piece has some work on it done by hand by my now passed beloved grandmother.

Simplicity posted 7/11/2018 21:18 PM

I donated my wedding dress a long time ago, so luckily I don't have to worry about that (got a nice tax deduction from that!). My engagement ring and wedding ring (And his too, I took his, saying he didn't want it, he doesn't get to have it), will be sold in the diamond district shortly after we finalize (hopefully soon!). My anniversary ring I had picked out myself, and quite frankly I paid for it myself. I think I will keep it and wear it on a different finger. It's really pretty, and I more or less bought it for myself, even though he did the act of giving it to me (I totally acted surprised at the time). He has all the wedding photos, so I suppose he threw them all out. I sent any left over wedding videos or photos to his parents for them to mull over their son's great behavior.

Hoping to get a couple thousand bucks from selling the rings. Gold is at an all time high, now!

[This message edited by Simplicity at 11:51 PM, July 11th (Wednesday)]

Chili posted 7/11/2018 21:21 PM

GraceLove:

I donated my wedding dress to an organization that provides free dresses to military wives. I think I might have even taken a modest tax deduction too for an appropriate cost of a "used" dress. If I remember, they sent a box and I also sent a small fee for it to be cleaned.

Wiser: you might consider laying part of the train under glass on a coffee or side table. I knew a bride who did that with her veil and it was lovely.

I always prefer when something can be re-purposed.

The ring thing is so difficult though - that energy and you always knowing about the stone makes me wonder if it I would wear it even in a new setting. Mine still sit even though I designed (and paid for) them myself.

GraceLove posted 7/11/2018 21:26 PM

Thanks everyone, these are some good ideas that I hadn't considered. Very helpful. I didn't know you could get a tax deduction...not sure if that's the case in Canada though.

numb2018 posted 7/12/2018 00:36 AM

I plan to sell my diamond ring. As for the dress, I donated it a few months ago to a local group that makes burial gowns for stillborn infants.

SuperDaddy1027 posted 7/12/2018 05:59 AM

XWW kept her dress. Which is fine her parents paid for it. She can do what she wants with it. I have all the rings. I’m not sure what I will do with them. They have to be worth something. I thought of selling them and putting the money in my kids’ college fund (every little bit helps).
I also thought of keeping them for my kids and letting them use the diamonds if they ever get engaged. But then I remembered those rings are tainted. Im not 100% but I can only assume she kept her rings on when she fucked AP. She never took her rings off.
At this point they are in my safe. XWW asked about them one time. I told her its none of her business what I do with the rings.

I do like the idea of donating dresses.

WhoTheBleep posted 7/12/2018 06:21 AM

I actually like the idea of a freedom ring, on my right hand. Damn it, I deserve something sparkly, and my diamond is fabulous. I'll cleanse it with sage and holy water or something...

lilies21 posted 7/12/2018 07:37 AM

I donated my dress to a friend's organization that takes wedding dresses and turns them into gowns for stillborn babies.

As for the rings, I just threw them out the car window one day while driving down the highway. It seemed like the thing to do at the time. I couldn't handle them being with me for one more day and I don't regret it. I wouldn't have gotten any money out of them anyway since it was a broken $100 engagement/wedding set from Wal-Mart that Asshat picked out with his mother eleven years previously.

josiep posted 7/12/2018 08:08 AM

My wedding dress is 46 yrs. old and I have no idea what I did with it. I think my DD and her friends used it for play acting. I got it at Macy's for $60 off the mannequin so it was just a dress to me. I didn't have the money to do the full on "find the perfect dress" thing.

My ring, OTOH, is sitting in a dish in my bathroom and has been for the last 15 months. I'm not sure what to do with it - it's just a band but it's lovely, with abstract pattern all around. I found it in a magazine and he loved it, too so we found a jeweler who could order them. They weren't expensive so monetarily, it's not a biggie. I've considered trading in the gold for cash and donating it to S.I. but I can't pull the plug on that one cuz I associate S.I. with my "after the marriage" life. So maybe it'll just sit there in the dish (with a bunch of other odds & ends) until I die and let my kids deal with it.

It's a tough decision. I say lock the rings away for awhile until you decide what to do. As for the dress, I love the idea of donating it for a good cause.

Gablestitch posted 7/12/2018 08:36 AM

My wedding dress was my mother's and hand made by her grandmother (my great grandmother). It has been preserved for her and we had it redone after my wedding. I have no bad thoughts with that dress so I am going to keep it.

The rings I'm not sure about. The wedding band is plain so I could do whatever I wished with it. I kinda like the idea of a freedom ring. The diamonds in the engagement band came from his mother's first ring. I picked out the band. I don't really know what to do with them as my STBXWH is a second generation cheater. Things hadn't come out at the time of our engagement about his father's infidelity. I don't know if I want that kind of karma around or if I want those stones redefined. I'm just hanging onto them for now.

Newlease posted 7/12/2018 09:01 AM

I've never been one of those women who are "into" the whole wedding thing. I have no idea what happened to my $50 wedding dress - it was gone long before the D.

I recently traded in my 10ct gold wedding band for a new ring. I got $20 for it. My new ring makes me happy every time I look at it. No one in my family would have wanted that old tainted wedding band.

NL

EvenKeel posted 7/12/2018 09:05 AM

My dress still hangs in the closet. I wanted to donate it but my DD and mother thought that was horrible?! It will secretly disappear one day. It is so pretty - I won't just toss but will donate.

Rings - I have a pricey set as well but quickly learned that jewelry is the worst investment. LOL. I was hoping to recover about 20% of the purchase price but nope. The jeweler would offer me the price for the gold but nothing on the diamonds. Said the cut is outdated and no market. He recommended trying to do private sell or just hanging onto it. He said it was way to beautiful to melt down. So in my safety box it sits.

I did sell my ex's band back to the jewelry to be melted down

[This message edited by EvenKeel at 9:06 AM, July 12th (Thursday)]

doigoordoistay posted 7/12/2018 10:26 AM

I got rid of my dress a decade ago. I just didn't see the point keeping it. I figure my daughter will pick her own dress, besides that she's so much smaller than me, she would lose a lot of the dress trying to get it to fit her. My rings (I have the original and he got me a new set for our 13th anniversary, who knows why)? I figured I'd hold onto them in case my daughter or son wanted to use the diamonds for a wedding set.

StillLivin posted 7/12/2018 13:38 PM

I donated my dress, veil, etc. And sold my rings.

jadedangel posted 7/12/2018 14:12 PM

I had already given my dress to someone who could not afford a wedding dress so I didn't have to worry about it when I divorced.

I had 2 wedding sets at the time of my divorce ( a yellow gold and a white gold set) that I used to pay for babysitting of my infant son at the time. They were worth more to me for that than for anything else.

Phoenix1 posted 7/12/2018 16:53 PM

I'm going to donate my dress, but am on a waiting list (organization has received an overabundance of donations lately).

My rings are sitting in my jewelry box. There is a large marquis solitaire and I will eventually trade it in and have a pendant made from it. It is covered under an old program for the jewelry store where I can trade it in for full value for a larger stone. The program was discontinued a long time ago, but I still have all the original paperwork. I took it in to the jewelry store a few years ago and inquired about it and the current management staff had no clue what I was talking about. They had to call their corporate office (it's a national chain) and ask about it and verify if they would honor the trade-in, which they will. Soooo, eventually when I have some extra cash, I will be doing just that. Until then, it will sit tucked away in the bottom of my jewelry box.

ItllGetBetter posted 7/17/2018 18:07 PM

I asked my sons if they would like my diamond to give to their fiancé someday. I figured it was given (maybe) in love, was worn in love. The children were conceived in love. So, it's theirs someday. Unless their gf have other ideas!!
That dress...well, it'll probably hang out with other stuff I don't need.

The pictures tho! What do I do with all the pictures!? Pre-digital, so there are so many. Xwh didn't ask for anything, so he gets nothing.

wannabenormal posted 7/17/2018 23:22 PM

I still have my dress, but feel it's of no use to anyone else - given the bad juju it has now. Maybe I should get it blessed and donate it...or get it blessed and one of the kids can make a Christening gown out of it or something.

As for the jewelry, I always planned to rework the stones into something for myself. I had a solitaire engagement ring with a baguette set wedding band.

Actually don't know where I've put the rings now, it's been a few years, but if I find the set - I think I'd like a pendant made. XH and I talked before he proposed and while I didn't know what I was getting - he gave me the cut I wanted. I should be able to enjoy the diamonds, they were good quality - even if the marriage wasn't.