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Newest Member: FaithGrace

New Beginnings :
What to do with ring

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 cantaccept (original poster member #37451) posted at 11:44 AM on Wednesday, January 23rd, 2019

This isn't a question, just wanted to share what I did with my ring yesterday.

I waited 10 years to get a ring, had it for 10 months and dday #1 hit. I loved the ring, was so excited, just thrilled. Of course that didn't last very long.

I just couldn't bring myself to throw it away. It seems such a waste and I did not want it, didn't want to give it to any of my family, they wouldn't want it either. I had this thought that maybe someday it would make someone else happy, someone a step removed.

So, I work with a young man, about 32, that is so very sweet, kind to me, a gentleman, big heart, always telling me about his girlfriend and family.

They just bought a house about a year ago, she got laid off 2 months ago. He was telling me how much he would like to officially propose to her but that now that they are struggling financially it's all they can do to maintain the house. He said he has been looking in pawn shops for a ring but nothing is in reach that is nice.

I showed him a photo of the ring. He responded that it was beautiful. I just said well there you go, I'll bring it in tomorrow. He was confused for a bit but knew my backstory enough to understand why I did not want the ring. He wanted to pay what he could and I declined. The thing about doing this is I felt so good about it! It should have been given to me with love but it wasn't. I got to change it's path and give it to him with love and now he get's to give it to her with love.

He was so surprised and so happy, he actually started crying, those big tears that just rolled down his cheeks.

Just wanted to share this. It just felt so good to do for someone with no strings, just to give.

This is what I always imagined doing with the ring but never knew it would feel so nice.

"I'm still standing better than I ever did. Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid" Elton John
I would now like to be known as Can!

dday October 21,2012
dday December 20, 2013
wh deleted
I attempted R, he was a lie

posts: 3505   ·   registered: Nov. 11th, 2012   ·   location: Connecticut
id 8318014
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WhoTheBleep ( member #49504) posted at 12:06 PM on Wednesday, January 23rd, 2019

Wow! Cantaccept, you have DEFINITELY changed the vibes, mojo, energy of that ring. What a gift. Beautiful idea.

I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural

posts: 4526   ·   registered: Sep. 6th, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 8318018
smile1

UglyBetty ( member #53969) posted at 3:22 PM on Wednesday, January 23rd, 2019

This is so lovely to read, cantaccept!

posts: 88   ·   registered: Jul. 4th, 2016
id 8318094
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Ripped62 ( member #60667) posted at 3:49 PM on Wednesday, January 23rd, 2019

Thank you for sharing this story. It affirms there are wonderful people in this world.

posts: 3195   ·   registered: Sep. 17th, 2017   ·   location: United States of America
id 8318106
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SallyShrink81 ( member #50219) posted at 5:54 PM on Wednesday, January 23rd, 2019

Yes!! Fantastic!!

FBS now surviving and thriving
2 kiddos born 2011 & 2014
"If a woman steals your husband, she might as well steal your shoes too, because one day she'll be walking in them." #karma

posts: 909   ·   registered: Nov. 4th, 2015   ·   location: Michigan
id 8318165
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Oftencheatedon ( member #41268) posted at 11:11 PM on Wednesday, January 23rd, 2019

That made me teary eyed. What a wonderful thing for all of you!

[This message edited by Oftencheatedon at 5:23 PM, January 23rd (Wednesday)]

posts: 1274   ·   registered: Nov. 7th, 2013   ·   location: AL
id 8318325
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deena04 ( member #41741) posted at 4:13 AM on Sunday, January 27th, 2019

You are an amazing person. This is great.

Me FBS 40s, Him XWS older than me (lovemywife4ever), D, He cheated before M, forgot to tell me. I’m free and loving life.

posts: 3352   ·   registered: Dec. 22nd, 2013   ·   location: Midwest
id 8320001
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Phoenix1 ( member #38928) posted at 4:34 AM on Sunday, January 27th, 2019

What a truly beautiful gesture.

fBS - Me
Xhole - Multiple LTAs/2 OCs over 20+yrs
Adult Kids
Happily divorced!

You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending. ~C.S. Lewis~

posts: 9059   ·   registered: Apr. 9th, 2013   ·   location: Land of Indifference
id 8320009
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Chili ( member #35503) posted at 5:05 AM on Sunday, January 27th, 2019

Just brilliant. I bet you will get 10x more joy out of that gesture than anything the sticker price of that ring could buy.

This is the kind of stuff that shows the depth of your character.

Kudos Can.

2012 pretty much sucked.
Things no longer suck.
Took off flying solo with the co-pilot chili dog.
"Life teaches you how to live it if you live long enough" - Tony Bennett

posts: 2242   ·   registered: May. 2nd, 2012   ·   location: Reality
id 8320010
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hardtimesinlife ( member #10468) posted at 3:18 PM on Sunday, January 27th, 2019

Beautiful. Now you've changed my emotional vibe today. I'm blown away by your kindness and your ability to change the lives of others. Thanks for sharing that.

Ddays 2004 & 2007
I cut my losses mid 2013
Feeling happier every day :)

posts: 7056   ·   registered: Apr. 20th, 2006   ·   location: Florida
id 8320121
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CaliforniaNative ( member #60149) posted at 5:15 PM on Sunday, January 27th, 2019

Yes...as the saying goes -Learn to love without condition. Talk without bad intention. Give without any reason. And most of all, care for people without any expectation.

Thanks for sharing.

[This message edited by CaliforniaNative at 11:57 AM, January 27th (Sunday)]

posts: 444   ·   registered: Aug. 13th, 2017   ·   location: California
id 8320156
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Soconfusing ( member #61392) posted at 9:24 PM on Sunday, January 27th, 2019

Oh my goodness!! This is absolutely beautiful!!! What a wonderful way to bless someone!!!

posts: 248   ·   registered: Nov. 12th, 2017
id 8320235
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CatsEye ( member #69037) posted at 7:47 AM on Friday, February 1st, 2019

What a lovely story. Thank you for sharing it with us.

posts: 222   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2018
id 8322501
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 cantaccept (original poster member #37451) posted at 12:01 PM on Friday, February 1st, 2019

I haven't had a chance to look back here since I posted this. See my post in Off Topic, Prayers and Mojo needed.

I am so happy to see this touched others as it touched me.

I was just thinking about how in my life I have always seen the potential of things. I always had this desire to make things better, leave a place better than I found it. I even had a business for over 20 years buying old beat up furniture and giving it a new life!

I think I did the same with people, especially the x. I saw his potential. I knew that he had some "issues". I guess I thought that if I loved him enough he would heal. How presumptuous of me! I think perhaps this way of thinking is fine for things but certainly not for people!

So back to the ring. It made me happy to change it's trajectory and at the same time make a good person happy. It just feels good to take something of pain and turn it into something of happiness.

"I'm still standing better than I ever did. Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid" Elton John
I would now like to be known as Can!

dday October 21,2012
dday December 20, 2013
wh deleted
I attempted R, he was a lie

posts: 3505   ·   registered: Nov. 11th, 2012   ·   location: Connecticut
id 8322588
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WithMyEyesOpen ( member #59243) posted at 12:16 PM on Monday, February 4th, 2019

Beautiful, cantaccept. You should be truly proud of yourself.

BW 31YO
WH had EA with COW through 2017.
Thought we were R, but he carried on pursuing her and she developed feelings for him too.
Divorce finalised end of Sep 2018.
DDay #1 15/2/17
DDay #2 21/1/18

posts: 272   ·   registered: Jun. 16th, 2017   ·   location: UK
id 8323749
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tiredofcrying59 ( member #56180) posted at 12:44 AM on Saturday, February 9th, 2019

That's really awesome. What a great idea.

BW
Me-59
Him-57
M-33 yrs, not that I "celebrate" it
D-day-10/30/16 2mo.PA w/COW attempting R

new news- like a 5 year A w/COW, no longer attempting R. What am I, an idiot?

Getting on with life, without him.

posts: 1273   ·   registered: Nov. 28th, 2016
id 8326501
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