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Anyone Else a Thread-killer?

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Tallgirl posted 3/27/2019 05:58 AM

This is my favourite thread. Iípop on and know I will smile. Ií typically laugh out loud. So thanks for the fun and thanks for making this my favourite thread, even though youíre trying to kill it.

Cephastion posted 3/27/2019 06:10 AM

This is my favourite thread. Iípop on and know I will smile. Ií typically laugh out loud. So thanks for the fun and thanks for making this my favourite thread, even though youíre trying to kill it.

Yet another example of that schadenfreude word in action.

I guess this has become schadenfreude thread because it wasn't starting out intentionally as a "dumb way to die",I don't think, but it sure seems to have gotten that way!

Speaking of which... In order to make my own contribution of a dumb way for my good reputation on here to die, I realized that my particular offering of an image for the SI club members was rather sex-oriented and therefore possibly male-oriented in terms of its trauma inducing severity...(this is veiled humor, by the way, folks..)

Therefore, in honor of the feminine side of this equation, I will post this next image in order to stay politically correct or at least somewhat "balanced"...

By the way I'm hoping to avoid being seen as generalizing since it's virtually impossible to tell the gender of the individuals involved or even which one is actually the wayward and which one is the betrayed or which one is the spouse and which one is the AP. (Okay so maybe the pear-shaped, would-be/wannabe "heart recipient" has long eyelashes and is somewhat effeminate, but isn't that what women want a man to be like nowadays? ... The preceding interrogative statement is ALSO more veiled tongue-in-cheek humor, btw...)

[This message edited by Cephastion at 6:27 AM, March 27th (Wednesday)]

Cephastion posted 3/27/2019 06:36 AM

... Aaaaannnddd...

Having said all of that and then looking at my own post there on this thread...

I just noticed my own never-commented-on tagline directly beneath that very triggery cartoonish schadenfreude gif I just posted ...

No wonder people's Love is growing more cold and their hearts are being more guarded...

I guess it pays to not be an emotional organ donor or even a physical "organ loaner" if your picker is way off or out of calibration, and your heart or soul is connected to it like mine is...

Notthevictem posted 3/27/2019 08:50 AM

You lost me there ceph. An you rephrase in the form of a fart joke?

Notthevictem posted 3/27/2019 09:08 AM

Actually that's a test. If you can rephrase in the form of a fart joke I then plan to challenge you to a fart joke poetry competition on this very thread!

Chili posted 3/27/2019 09:27 AM

Oooh oooh oooh - a poetry contest. THAT will be sure to kill a thread.

Requesting a Spenserian sonnet please. An Ode on _______?

Haiku just seem too restrictive and short for NTV and Ceph to gloriously sing the praises of anything I would suspect.

Notthevictem posted 3/27/2019 09:36 AM

And by anything you mean farts.

Cephastion posted 3/27/2019 09:52 AM

"Say 'Cheese'"... By Cephastion, commissioned by Chili Madame Chair and inspired by the odiferous odes, works, and writings of NTV:

Global warming
Feel the thunder
Cut asunder
Peace and serendipit-ease.

Eyes are tearing
Noses searing
Rooms are clearing
All are fearing
Cheese cutting entities.

Chaos now reigning
Anarchy harranguing
All former order
Now warmer odor
As rise the cries for mercies

A smile appearing
With look endearing
Self satisfaction
To distraction
NTV says, "say, 'PLEASE'!"


[This message edited by Cephastion at 10:07 AM, March 27th (Wednesday)]

Cephastion posted 3/27/2019 10:05 AM

After reading that "moving piece", does anybody out there want to commission me to do their eulogy or write the epithet for their funeral, wake, cremation, burial service or headstone?

Perhaps a graduation ceremony or wedding?

Tallgirl posted 3/27/2019 10:14 AM

Outstanding work. I snorted at my desk. GTG I should be earning my paycheck. :)

Notthevictem posted 3/27/2019 10:14 AM

Wait wait wait. This competition isn't over! You can't go selling your poetry services like you've already won!

Cephastion posted 3/27/2019 10:29 AM

Well, you might have a point there NTV, but I got to admitit's kind of fun watching somebody else turn you green for a change instead of the other way around!

Besides, do you really think anyone can handle the both of us being in the same room and event together at the same time?

Apparently I remind another poster on another thread here in SI the last day or so of a nationally infamous mass shooter, it seems... Just because I've posted about feeling lied to and cheated by my fwwife at the wedding altar and numerous times thereafter!

I certainly wouldn't want you to be guilty by association

[This message edited by Cephastion at 10:36 AM, March 27th (Wednesday)]

Notthevictem posted 3/27/2019 11:39 AM

I name this poem "Splat"

Behind a lonely house sat a man
Beside him, he placed a dish
The bait, the lure came from a can
The premium tuna fish

He chose a stray cat for his test
For eight days the smell cleared the town
Tectonic rear end apocalypse
Midbite for each it fell down

Eight lives were tested and eight found
Day nine some prayed he'd find heart
They knew the test failed by just the sound
The cat found life from a shart

And he did not test the cat again
Barely surviving embarrassment

~ fin ~

SaddestDad posted 3/27/2019 12:20 PM

My submission:

Went to town lookin' for some fun,
Instead; I bought a honeybun.
Tasted great, filled my belly,
But on it's way out it was too smelly.

Got kicked out of the bar right away,
They didn't even care if I paid!

Well, that's my story not much else to say,
Pucker up
Squeeze them cheeks
Let loose and pray

Notthevictem posted 3/27/2019 12:32 PM

Huh. We probably should have identified a judge first... wonder if sisoon will do it...

Cephastion posted 3/27/2019 12:41 PM

This is Chili Madame Chair's thread and therefore she should be the judge or she should delegate the judge or a panel of judges.

I suppose we could make nominations however.

[This message edited by Cephastion at 2:14 PM, March 27th (Wednesday)]

Notthevictem posted 3/27/2019 12:46 PM

Well I just thought 'sisoon would probably hate this, how can we get him to do it?' But yeah you're right.

Chili!! We need terms and rules and impartial or semi-impartial or the faintest trace of the appearance of impartial judging!!

I heard sisoon and tallgirl volunteering to help if you need it!

silverhopes posted 3/27/2019 14:08 PM

wOw - I am LOVING the talent I'm seeing on this page here! Actually, I mean that seriously... I never thought an ode to farting could be so eloquent.

Bravo bravo bravissimo!

DragnHeart posted 3/27/2019 15:16 PM

Well I suck at poetry but I have actually cleared a room with one of my farts...

Never thought I'd be proud of that until now.

Cephastion posted 3/27/2019 15:26 PM

Yeah well don't be too hard on yourself Dragonheart...

Dragon farts ARE legendary after all...

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