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Humiliated and Angry

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Tigersrule77 posted 12/9/2019 12:38 PM

I don't think it is blackmail if you tell her you have evidence of the affair. If there is no trial, there is reason anyone needs to see it. However, if you are forced to go to trial, you will be providing evidence of the A to substantiate your claims of infidelity.

Thanksgiving2016 posted 12/9/2019 17:30 PM

the action, treated as a criminal offense, of demanding payment or another benefit from someone in return for not revealing compromising or damaging information about them.

Kinda sounds like blackmail.

hansvoleman posted 12/10/2019 16:54 PM

Kinda sounds like blackmail

I think if you do make the threat of exposing the evidence yourself, it probably could be construed as blackmail. However, I bet if you let your lawyer bring it up in without prejudice discussions with her lawyers it'll be treated as part of the negotiations because the threat is implied. Her lawyer will understand and he will explain it to your wife.

nekonamida posted 12/10/2019 17:13 PM

I think hans has it right because you are not the first or last person to get a better settlement legally out of someone you have dirt on who also doesn't want to pay you a dime. There's probably a correct way to handle this and your lawyer can advise you on it.

The1stWife posted 12/10/2019 17:15 PM

In a no fault divorce state, does the infidelity matter?

I believe that is where this is divorce is taking place. Just asking since I donít know the D laws.

Iím certain his lawyer knows what to do here.

jadedangel posted 12/11/2019 00:21 AM

If she used martial funds to pay for her "fun", are you not entitled to half of that money back? Deduct it from her new numbers of support and whatnot.

As a possible compromise though, why not let her have the equity in the home in exchange for not touching the 401k?

RocketRaccoon posted 12/11/2019 04:11 AM

Westway,

I am meeting her Monday.

Hope you had a productive meeting.

Westway posted 12/11/2019 13:26 PM

Spoke with my attorney. She has no problem telling WW's attorney that we have a very detailed dossier of all her clandestine activities for the past 4 years which will prove that she used our common funds for her whoring. She is going to send him a letter today to that affect. So we will see what happens when WW finds out about the binder.

Westway posted 12/11/2019 13:30 PM

In a no fault divorce state, does the infidelity matter?
I believe that is where this is divorce is taking place. Just asking since I donít know the D laws.
Iím certain his lawyer knows what to do here.

No, this is not a fault state. But I can see my lawyer getting nasty in the custody portion of the D and using the info from the PI to show that my WW neglected our minor daughters during those times when she was out throwing her legs up for her thugs.

[This message edited by Westway at 1:30 PM, December 11th (Wednesday)]

EllieKMAS posted 12/11/2019 13:54 PM

Westway, just wanted to pop in and tell you that you are handling all of this like a total badass. Proud of you!

I'm with you - New Year's can't come quick enough because 2019 can eat dicks. I am so ready to turn the page.

Westway posted 12/11/2019 14:15 PM

ElleKMAS


Westway, just wanted to pop in and tell you that you are handling all of this like a total badass. Proud of you!

I'm with you - New Year's can't come quick enough because 2019 can eat dicks. I am so ready to turn the page.

Thank you Elle. Yes I want this year to be done and over and in my rear view, and I want to be in my new townhouse yesterday.

Westway posted 12/11/2019 14:18 PM

One thing about working out every day is that it boosts my testosterone. I'm horny as a herd of goats.

Would it be wrong of me to date women on the side once I move out, since I have already filed and divorce is certain? I guess I need to ask my priest huh?

Because I'm sure once I move out the WW will start catting around. It is inevitable. She claims she isn't going to, but her word means nothing to me.

Marz posted 12/11/2019 14:37 PM

Not sure you are ready to date. You don't need a rebound just more pain, etc.

You might want to take a little time to adjust

beenthereinco posted 12/11/2019 14:44 PM

Date when you want to date once you have filed for separation but be honest with whoever you go out with. I'd make sure they knew you were separated, you don't have to give them the details, and that you are heading to divorce. Most adult woman will understand that this means you are not likely going to be a serious BF for anyone any time soon. You owe them that honesty.

Dismayed2012 posted 12/11/2019 15:45 PM

I would think that your lawyer would have something to say about you dating. It may be an idea to ask her first.

The1stWife posted 12/11/2019 17:51 PM

She may try to use it against you - you are not divorced yet even though we all know the marriage is over.

Be careful

RocketRaccoon posted 12/11/2019 20:49 PM

Spoke with my attorney. She has no problem telling WW's attorney that we have a very detailed dossier of all her clandestine activities for the past 4 years which will prove that she used our common funds for her whoring. She is going to send him a letter today to that affect. So we will see what happens when WW finds out about the binder.

Looks like your lawyer is a smart one, and you are in good hands.

The exposure will decimate your WW, and she will probably ask for the folder to be handed over to her if she agrees to all your demands for the D.

Up to you what you want to do with that folder after all the dust has settled, but it might be a good insurance policy for the long term.

[This message edited by RocketRaccoon at 8:46 PM, December 12th (Thursday)]

Buffer posted 12/12/2019 00:35 AM

Take care and donít put on any cement shoes.

Westway posted 12/12/2019 16:17 PM

My lawyer put the ix-nay on any fraternizing by me before the D is final. So it looks like I'll be celebate for the next year.

Marz posted 12/12/2019 18:15 PM

Glad to see you have a great attorney. Many don't

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