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Humiliated and Angry

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nothisfriend posted 1/23/2020 08:23 AM

We did married filing separately and never had to interact. Dropped stuff at the accountant and he contacted us separately if he needed anything and when we had to come in and sign. We did it separately also. The refund went to one account, mine, and I wrote WXH a check for his half.

Marz posted 1/23/2020 08:25 AM

Sounds like from her reactions she may have been detached longer than you thought. Not surprising under the circumstances.

The good thing is after the dust settles she may just go away.

JS84 posted 1/23/2020 16:53 PM

For someone who is able to compartmentalize as well as she has for the years I'm pretty sure she will simply cut West out period.

That probably started as soon as she realized he knew far more about her indiscretions than she realized. Two worlds she's tried to keep separate for years have collided. She's willing to lose one (her husband/marriage/family) for the other (BBC).

I have a feeling what she's been doing all these years is going to come out sooner or later. It sounds like enough people know or suspect at this point.

Westway posted 1/24/2020 12:55 PM

I have a feeling what she's been doing all these years is going to come out sooner or later. It sounds like enough people know or suspect at this point.

I think her siblings already know the dirt. One day her oldest brother is going to go off on her. Its just a matter of time. I wish I could be a fly on the wall to see that.

DoinBettr posted 1/24/2020 13:45 PM

I would bet your xbil will go off on her next family holiday. It will be when someone mentions you being missing or the girls not being at something.
Then she will blame you. Then someone will correct her. She will argue and things will explode.
I would bet you will get a text asking for confirmation. Most likely after Easter or if there is a major family birthday.
Good luck!
BTW - push-ups should be easy if you have kept your boxing routine up. I would think it would be all the leg sweeps that really mess you up. Like an ankle hold. Arm pain is part of boxing, leg pain feels foreign.

MtVernon posted 1/26/2020 12:52 PM

Re-reading this entire thread, I must say you have handled things incredibly well. Your condor and humor throughout the process has been refreshing. I have no doubts you will end out much better off.

You were not wrong to 'trust'. We are supposed to trust but sometimes we marry/date unethical and manipulative people who use us and as someone who believes in the afterlife, your years that you feel were now robbed from you will be made up there.

I will look forward to watching things unfold in your favor. Good luck from here on

Buffer posted 1/26/2020 21:26 PM

Being that fly on the wall, the a very thick Italian and NY accent flying around the room I wouldn’t be able to understand a word.
Buffer

Westway posted 1/27/2020 10:15 AM

Being that fly on the wall, the a very thick Italian and NY accent flying around the room I wouldn’t be able to understand a word.
Buffer

They're Detroit Italians. Not that bad.

Westway posted 1/27/2020 10:20 AM

BTW - push-ups should be easy if you have kept your boxing routine up. I would think it would be all the leg sweeps that really mess you up. Like an ankle hold. Arm pain is part of boxing, leg pain feels foreign.

I'll get back where I was a couple years ago in no time. I had let my upper body training go a bit over the last couple years.

I actually have strong legs because I still run three miles a day. The leg sweeps are interesting to say the least. This is a whole new body language and mechanics going on. I haven't been on the floor since high school wrestling.

Westway posted 1/29/2020 12:17 PM

So get this, I get a text from my sister in law (the only one on that side of the family who ever liked me) texted me this morning and told me that the WW is planning on getting a tit lift and butt lift in the next month or so.

So much for mourning the loss of our marriage. What a bitch she is!

Now, this is during a time when according to our divorce agreement neither of us is supposed to enter into any high dollar loans or expenses (except for emergencies) until our divorce is final. And I know she will use the spousal support I will be paying her afterwards to pay for it. It just burns me up. Since the divorce agreement has been filed, can I file for breach of agreement or something?

I'm seriously ready to send out that cheater packet to everyone in her family. She is so asking for it. But then I don't want my daughters dragged into the mess, which they would be.

Newlifeisgreat posted 1/29/2020 12:43 PM

Will the cheating packet ultimately be sent anyway?

[This message edited by Newlifeisgreat at 12:44 PM, January 29th (Wednesday)]

KingofNothing posted 1/29/2020 12:45 PM

(the only one on that side of the family who ever liked me) texted me this morning and told me that the WW is planning on getting a tit lift and butt lift in the next month or so.

As you predicted yourself, she's actively on the hunt for the next sucker, and has to execute while she still has some of your money to spend with. She's not going to be earning top coin as a wedding planner, so this is an act of desperation.

Now, this is during a time when according to our divorce agreement neither of us is supposed to enter into any high dollar loans or expenses (except for emergencies) until our divorce is final. And I know she will use the spousal support I will be paying her afterwards to pay for it. It just burns me up. Since the divorce agreement has been filed, can I file for breach of agreement or something?

What's the language of that clause like? Did it stipulate a dollar figure?

Tigersrule77 posted 1/29/2020 12:53 PM

Why is your SIL sending this you this information? Do you need to know? Is it going to help you?

Unless she can somehow use the debt as a reason to increase your spousal support, who cares? It doesn't affect you.

In my opinion, this shows you that she has such low self esteem, she needs to "improve herself" in order to catch her next fish. She probably looks in the mirror and sees all of her flaws and wants to fix them.

I would suggest that the best thing for you to do is put that behind you.

Spend money on yourself. Hire a personal trainer and be the best version of yourself, find a sexy new partner who deserves you and makes you happy. then tell your SIL how great you are doing, so she can tell the XWW.

KingofNothing posted 1/29/2020 13:19 PM

Will the cheating packet ultimately be sent anyway?

That would be highly entertaining, told in Westway's inimical narrative style. But I see his point. His daughters don't need this crap.

Marz posted 1/29/2020 13:21 PM

I get your frustration but this is who she is, was and will always be. Don’t ever expect anything different.

I’d just make sure none of these costs come out of your end.

You were correct to not R in this situation.

Let her go fully. Cut as much contact as possible.

Unfortunately your daughters are caught up in this no matter what you do. However, they are at an age they can Probably determine who they want to live with. Keep that in mind.

PlanNine posted 1/29/2020 13:36 PM

On the other hand, just think how funny it will be if a botched surgery makes her look like some kind of weird, misshapen Frankenhooker.

notanotherchance posted 1/29/2020 14:07 PM

My man doesn't really matter what she is going to do with the SS. It shows her true colors, but you already knew that. Once you are divorced the SS can be spent on whatever she wants. Such as a container full of over sized dildo's or a 2 month stay at a hedonistic resort. Point is it doesn't matter what she does with the SS - Not your monkey not your Zoo. It is painful to see hard earned money used for her sexapades but not much you can do about it.
She could have told the SIL as she knew she would inform you. Her folks could be lending her the money until she can pay them back you do not know. All you would accomplish is maybe slowing down or delaying the D. She is toxic I would just ignore the BS coming from her side of the family and concentrate on you. The SIL may have got along with you at one time but things change.

paboy posted 1/29/2020 14:10 PM

These things will still trigger you. Just remember, she is in your back mirror getting smaller and smaller as you drive away.

You are doing well.

Westway posted 1/29/2020 15:13 PM

What's the language of that clause like? Did it stipulate a dollar figure?

$1,500 a month. Enough to pay her utilities and property taxes. Then she will get also get $1,200 child support a month.

It's not the money that bothers me. I make a very good living. It's what I know she will be doing with it that bothers me. But then again, I should have known and prepared myself for it.

Westway posted 1/29/2020 15:17 PM

On the other hand, just think how funny it will be if a botched surgery makes her look like some kind of weird, misshapen Frankenhooker.

Thing is she's not bad looking for 49. She keeps in good shape, does her mayavitsu ogoo boogoo yoga every day. She doesn't need all that shit. It's so stupid the way people will tear their bodies up with surgery. This lust for eternal beauty is a curse on our society.

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