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Humiliated and Angry

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redwing6 posted 2/28/2020 20:15 PM

If you can't laugh at yourself, you're not human.

Buffer posted 3/10/2020 06:24 AM

Strength brother, laugh brother, train hard brother, her loss is your gain.
Buffer

Westway posted 3/10/2020 12:31 PM

Always try to laugh. I keep a steady stream of comedian vids on YouTube: Bill Burr, Gabriel Iglesias, Ron White. Ya got to keep laughing.

Funny thing, I'm going in for a minor surgery on my broken finger this next Monday. They are putting a pin in the first phalange of my left middle finger that I rebroke a couple weeks ago doing BJJ. So my STBXWW heard that I was having surgery and was blowing up my phone with texts yesterday. "Are you okay?" "Is something wrong?" "You would tell me if you're sick wouldn't you?" "Just because we are getting divorced doesn't mean I'm still not concerned about you."

Sheez. Give me a break would ya woman?

[This message edited by Westway at 12:31 PM, March 10th (Tuesday)]

fooled13years posted 3/10/2020 12:55 PM

Keeping the levity,
Tell her you will send her a picture right after surgery. She will get a big picture of your middle finger

Westway posted 3/10/2020 12:58 PM

Tell her you will send her a picture right after surgery. She will get a big picture of your middle finger

Splendid idea

Skadu posted 3/10/2020 12:59 PM

Yo Westway, look up "this is Not happening" comedy series on YouTube. It's from comedy Central but you can watch basically the whole thing uncensored on YouTube for free.

I advise watching Randall Park's first, it sets the tone pretty well.

[This message edited by Skadu at 1:13 PM, March 10th (Tuesday)]

Marz posted 3/10/2020 14:00 PM

Ignore

faithfulman posted 3/10/2020 14:13 PM

While I think sending the middle finger is funny, I think your best response is "I'm fine, please don't concern yourself" or something like that.

If you don't respond it is probably worse in this case.

If she keeps on haranguing you, just write

"Please don't feel the need to reach out to me every time your hear about something happening in my life. I will let you know if there is anything important that you need to know about or be involved with."

If she STILL won't stop: "I am not your husband anymore."

Booyah posted 3/10/2020 14:57 PM

Or you could reply back that you're having the knife that she stuck in your back removed.

Westway posted 3/10/2020 15:35 PM

faithfulman

While I think sending the middle finger is funny, I think your best response is "I'm fine, please don't concern yourself" or something like that.
If you don't respond it is probably worse in this case.

If she keeps on haranguing you, just write
"Please don't feel the need to reach out to me every time your hear about something happening in my life. I will let you know if there is anything important that you need to know about or be involved with."

If she STILL won't stop: "I am not your husband anymore."

I texted her back. "It's just an operation on my finger. If I go into respiratory failure and croak on the table, I'll have my lawyer let you know. It is no longer your place to look after me. That privilege has passed on to our daughters."

Booyah

Or you could reply back that you're having the knife that she stuck in your back removed.

You mean knives....

KingofNothing posted 3/10/2020 16:40 PM

You mean knives....

At least ten of them by your count! That must be a great relief to have them out of your back at last.

You seem to be doing well, Westway, I hope you continue to keep your spirits up. That finger thing sucks. I used to jam my fingers all the time playing rugby but never had to have a freakin' pin put in.. OUCH.

faithfulman posted 3/10/2020 18:12 PM

I texted her back. "It's just an operation on my finger. If I go into respiratory failure and croak on the table, I'll have my lawyer let you know. It is no longer your place to look after me. That privilege has passed on to our daughters."

That works too!

Buffer posted 3/10/2020 21:23 PM

Well said about passing the privilege to your DDaughters.
May be a quote that the life insurance has also been passed onto a charity just to let her know.
Buffer

[This message edited by Buffer at 9:24 PM, March 10th (Tuesday)]

Tigersrule77 posted 3/11/2020 06:53 AM

I think you took the right approach. Your XWW lied to you and betrayed you for years. This is not the type of person you would want to be friends with, and you appear to have no interest in any type of relationship with her. That is understandable. She needs to understand this and I think you will have to be blunt for her to catch on.

It seems to me that WS's often want to "be friends" after the D. Mine did and I've read several threads of others. I believe that they really can't wrap their head around the betrayal and pain they caused and don't seem to understand why BS's have no interest in this.

DoinBettr posted 3/11/2020 09:37 AM

I had a long post about my friends who were in a similar situation except his wife hooked up with half the fire department in our city. (Her thing and some of them were married.)
You still find your wife attractive. You realize she is childish at times, but a decent parent. You aren't really full of hate for her by what I can read. Don't be surprised if she uses that new butt to real you in. Especially around the holidays when you both start to miss family and I bet her latest fboy flakes out while she focuses on the kids. She likes thugs. Sooner or later she is going to miss having an adult around.
Just know you should never remarry her and sometimes you are just filling a void temporarily. But wait for the holidays before ever finding yourself in that situation.
Plus never agree to move in to help pay the mortgage. 2 mistakes my friend made.

[This message edited by DoinBettr at 12:35 PM, March 11th (Wednesday)]

Westway posted 3/11/2020 14:25 PM

Tigersrule77

I think you took the right approach. Your XWW lied to you and betrayed you for years. This is not the type of person you would want to be friends with, and you appear to have no interest in any type of relationship with her. That is understandable. She needs to understand this and I think you will have to be blunt for her to catch on.

Since I wrote her that text I have not heard a peep out of her.

It seems to me that WS's often want to "be friends" after the D. Mine did and I've read several threads of others. I believe that they really can't wrap their head around the betrayal and pain they caused and don't seem to understand why BS's have no interest in this.

She definitely wants me around as a friend, because I am the only man who ever loved her completely, and she knows it. She knows she's nothing but a piece of ass to all those guys. She even said a few weeks back that we will need to learn to be friends in order to be there for our daughters. I told her to the effect that "No, we can learn to be polite and cordial with each other, but I am not going to be your friend. I'm not friends with people who lie to me and betray me."

As for my pain, I think she understands it on a cognitive level, but she has shown no signs that she empathizes with me.


DoinBettr


I had a long post about my friends who were in a similar situation except his wife hooked up with half the fire department in our city. (Her thing and some of them were married.)

You still find your wife attractive. You realize she is childish at times, but a decent parent. You aren't really full of hate for her by what I can read. Don't be surprised if she uses that new butt to real you in. Especially around the holidays when you both start to miss family and I bet her latest fboy flakes out while she focuses on the kids. She likes thugs. Sooner or later she is going to miss having an adult around.

Just know you should never remarry her and sometimes you are just filling a void temporarily. But wait for the holidays before ever finding yourself in that situation.
Plus never agree to move in to help pay the mortgage. 2 mistakes my friend made.

Well she owns her own house outright, so she doesn't need me to move in. As for still being attracted to her, I am not. In fact the last time I saw her I found her repulsive. I don't hate her... yet. but I do find that my missing her is slowly turning into a deep resentment.

DoinBettr posted 3/12/2020 09:57 AM

Well she owns her own house outright, so she doesn't need me to move in.

So did my friend's ex. She took out a new loan against the house because she lost her job while going through her year of "Self Discovery" right after the divorce. He was trying to help her because he didn't want the kids to lose their childhood home.

As for still being attracted to her, I am not. In fact the last time I saw her I found her repulsive. I don't hate her... yet. but I do find that my missing her is slowly turning into a deep resentment.

That train pulled into the station. With your story I am surprised it took so long. Just slowly let it process. You will see these emotions change over time.

Westway posted 3/12/2020 17:35 PM

With your story I am surprised it took so long. Just slowly let it process. You will see these emotions change over time.

Don't get me wrong, the anger has always been there. But now it is joining up with a welling resentment. Resentment for all the years I took care of her and did my best to make her happy and honor her in every way. All the while she's out whoring it up behind my back.

I really think there is something seriously mentally wrong with serial cheaters like her. I do believe it is some kind of mental illness. Or they are just evil.

J0ck posted 3/12/2020 17:40 PM

I just think their too shallow to be evil just think of number one

J0ck posted 3/12/2020 17:40 PM

I just think their too shallow to be evil just think of number one

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