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Humiliated and Angry

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KingofNothing posted 3/23/2020 16:35 PM

More time for her extra curricular activities. She didnít seem too concerned about infection before....why should she now?

Come on, Ramius! Even Ex Mrs. Westway needs to practice social distancing in this time of crisis.

Marz posted 3/23/2020 16:43 PM

There is no infections in unicorn land. Itís all good

Newlifeisgreat posted 3/23/2020 16:46 PM

Aww.
Poor Muffin!!

She must feel betrayed! Abandoned! As if no one cares for her!!!

Have fun with the girls

[This message edited by Newlifeisgreat at 4:49 PM, March 23rd (Monday)]

Westway posted 3/23/2020 16:51 PM

Conventional friends or the kind she's been entertaining for a decade?

She wouldn't bring any bruthas home to her house. The neighbors would snitch on her faster than stink, and she is always trying to keep up appearances. Only the white sucker she cons in to replacing me will be allowed there.

Buffer posted 3/24/2020 06:34 AM

How great to have both daughters staying at your abode!
Spoil the shit out of them, dad and daughter stuff.
Poor stbxw, well; can go plat her poop 💩.
Take care with the virus, donít let the girls over worry about it.
One day at a time
Buffer

Westway posted 4/9/2020 10:03 AM

Question for all. Let me run this by you.

So my STBXWW called me this morning for the first time in a couple weeks. Her mom invited our priest over for a lunch at the in-laws' house on Saturday and her mom wants me and the girls to come. Since my WW and I are both observant Catholics, it is her mom's opinion that my WW are husband and wife until the church annulment goes through, which won't happen until after the legal divorce is finalized.

So, I'm supposed to act like I'm still her husband. I am NOT her husband anymore. Not in my mind or my heart. I am moving on with my life, and I even have a gal I'm sleeping with occasionally (privately and discreetly of course). But I have to do this fake play-acting like she and I are these pious, upstanding people. Its all b.s. My first instinct is to call my priest and let him know that I will not be going to that luncheon. But I know that is just going to piss of the MIL even more and give her family more ammo to go after my rep.

So what should I do? Suck it up and play nice and just go, or tell the priest I won't be there? He knows the WHOLE story. He knows how much I know about my WW's cheating. My STBXWW doesn't even know how much I know about her whoring.

Marz posted 4/9/2020 10:11 AM


Dup

[This message edited by Marz at 10:14 AM, April 9th (Thursday)]

Marz posted 4/9/2020 10:13 AM

I wouldnít go. Never live your life for others especially in this situation. It wonít get you a thing.

No matter what you do youíll never satisfy them and they arenít your family anymore.

Good time to practice ignoring the xmil.

fareast posted 4/9/2020 10:28 AM

This is a great opportunity to practice social distancing. Does your MIL understand we are in the midst of a pandemic. Call your priest and politely decline. You have the perfect excuse. He would understand anyway. Your in-laws will keep trying to drag you back in. You are not in the family any more.

eehamlet posted 4/9/2020 10:34 AM

Question for all. Let me run this by you.

Do not go. Why should you. Tell MIL that with the pandemic it does not make sense. Cough into the phone if necessary. You owe you STBX nothing.

Marz posted 4/9/2020 10:36 AM

Forward that invitation to one of her sex buddies. She replaced you with them so itíd be great to see one show up

Unannounced would be best. Do they like surprises?

cannotforgive posted 4/9/2020 10:37 AM

Following on government's social distancing guidelines, you are avoiding any gatherings that might compromise your health or the health of your elderly inlaws.

You do not want mamma and papa'being unwell at their age...

Marz posted 4/9/2020 10:40 AM

Meh, I wouldnít use anything as an excuse other than the facts.

Butforthegrace posted 4/9/2020 10:46 AM

Her mom invited our priest over for a lunch at the in-laws' house on Saturday and her mom wants me and the girls to come.

Hell to the naw. Do you know how many people priests come into close contact with daily? They're walking, rosary-rubbing, bible-thumping virus vectors. I cannot fathom how your MIL would even consider, for a millisecond, putting your daughters within six degrees of a man of the cloth during ramp up to the peak of the Covid-19 curve.

As your MIL how much she desires to see your daughters dead, because that lunch is an invitation to viral transmission.

Thanksgiving2016 posted 4/9/2020 10:53 AM

She wasnít worried about what it he priest and her mom thought while she was cheating. Why put up appearances now that youíre divorced. No way. And if the priest doesnít know about the divorce update him now. If you havenít seen him since the divorce let her tell him just be aware it will be her version.

Stinger posted 4/9/2020 11:05 AM

I've read your posts. I am surprised you would even consider this.

Buster123 posted 4/9/2020 11:13 AM

The word "NO" is still an whole sentence, so that's really all you need, a simple "NO" (you might want to add the word "thanks"), if they ask why, simply tell them you don't want to be part of it or any of their social gatherings now or in the future, if they insist, simply hang up the phone (that usually does the trick).

Buster123 posted 4/9/2020 11:14 AM

I've read your posts. I am surprised you would even consider this.

I was very surprised as well.

Westway posted 4/9/2020 11:21 AM

I consider everything. I just don't always do it. I'm definitely not going. Just got off the phone with my priest and he understands. I just wanted to get your opinions and to vent a little at the audacity of the whole thing.

I would think these Italians would love to hurry up to get rid of their Irish son in law.

DoinBettr posted 4/9/2020 11:23 AM

You should ask your daughters if they would want you there would be my advice.
They supported you during this insanity. So give them a little control from your side.
If the girls are going, you will be exposed to them anyways. Same as the priest.
If you do go, go on your terms. If they start to make this awkward, simply state they are making things awkward. Be open and upfront, not fake.
Setup what will draw the lines for you to just leave. If they cross the line, mention it with 1 warning, then leave if they don't respect your boundaries.
The in laws will be in your life going forward, so you might as well setup the high road you will be taking and setting the tempo. Currently you are still justified to be a little pissy (stand your ground to them).
If you give it a year, then go to one of these, then get pissy, they will crucify you more easily. If you do it now, you can come to a future event and mention things were still fresh and you were pushing yourself for the family.
Just stating how my brother's ex-wife did it. She came to the family dinner, stated if we talked about them getting back together she was leaving. After dinner, my mom couldn't respect that boundary and XSIL was going to bolt. My other brother and I said we wanted to move the dinner to my house and leave our mom at hers. She came with us bringing their son, we talked it out and she later would work through us to get things through smoothly. My older brother is an idiot and deserved the divorce.
Good luck. Your in-laws suck according to you. You may need to be on good behavior with family events in the future for the girls. Weddings, graduations, birthday parties, ...
Setting the groundwork might be a good idea. Plus as I stated, you have the upper hand currently. It is like a woman stating she hormones as her reason for a crappy attitude. People just have to accept it. Later that will be tougher.
So see if the daughters want you to go. It may change your perspective.

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