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If it wasn't for SI, where would you be now ?

Dorothy123 posted 11/14/2019 16:49 PM

This thread is my way to thank all the wonderful staff who selflessly work so hard to make SI happen for all of us.

So, please answer this

If it wasn't for SI , where would you be now ?

I'll start.

When I first got to SI , I thought that I was going crazy.

Reading here and helping people here have made me feel normal.

Today, I'm in a lot better mental position that I was in before I got to SI.

So, from the bottom of my heart thank you everyone.

So, if it wasn't for SI , I would still think that I'm going crazy.

[This message edited by Dorothy123 at 5:31 PM, November 14th (Thursday)]

The1stWife posted 11/14/2019 18:27 PM

Iíd be divorced.

I came to SI two years after Dday2. Still struggling even though he was doing everything right. Full remorse. Making amends.

But Iím glad I stuck it out. SI helped me with my anger towards him.

cancuncrushed posted 11/14/2019 18:37 PM

In big trouble. I didnít know how. ...I came to SI , two years after day. The mind games and lies continued. The cheating continued. The emotional abuse was out of control. Etc. I didnít know what to do. This was not the man I married.

Slowly ,from SI, I learned Exwh was serial cheater. An alcoholic, To the point of brain damage. And a narcissist. It really was to much for me to handle and figure things out. I never heard of narcissism. I was clearly in a fog. I couldnít imagine what he was doing, was real. But it was. So my journey to protect myself and get out started.

Iím out. Im D. Iím no contact. Iím healing me. Itís very hard. Itís what has to be.

Thank you Si. You really do save lives.

[This message edited by cancuncrushed at 6:40 PM, November 14th (Thursday)]

silverhopes posted 11/14/2019 18:39 PM

Iím out. Iím no contact. Iím healing me.

Thank you Si. You really do save lives.


BraveSirRobin posted 11/16/2019 10:50 AM

Probably still lying and running around inside my own head like a cornered rat. I wish I could say that seeing my BH's pain would have been enough to wake me up, but years of evidence prove otherwise. It's hard to overestimate what this site has meant to me.

StillLivin posted 11/16/2019 11:32 AM

I've made some great friends. Honestly, I'd probably be exactly where I'm at. I didn't find and join SI until after I'd hired an attorney and was kicking my cheater out. I probably would have taken a few weeks to months longer to heal because the folks on SI validated what I already knew in my gut, but I still would have gotten to this point. But the friendships I've made here are priceless.

Thumos posted 11/16/2019 12:34 PM

Why I still donít have the resolution I want, I feel I am much closer than I was this summer. But for SI, I would still be floundering around in a state of generalized anxiety and confusion. Thanks to the perspective Iíve received here, Iíve been able move several steps forward, my wife and I are both in IC and I have made a polygraph a non negotiable for any reconciliation. I feel Iím much closer to the end of the tunnel.

layla1234 posted 11/16/2019 12:36 PM

Honestly, as much as my husband hates me being on here he should be thanking his stars for this site. If it wasn't for SI, I'm pretty sure we'd be divorced now.

psychmom posted 11/16/2019 13:15 PM

I didn't find SI for nearly 7 months after DDay. Until then I had one girlfriend who had been through something similar who was with me 100% during my darkest hours. I sincerely credit her with saving my life because I was in so much pain that I was thinking about finding a way out.

But I knew I couldn't keep putting her through that, she had her own life and I needed to find a way to stand on my own. And SI was the lifeline I found to replace her.

SI provided hope that R was possible, even under what seemed like the worst of circumstances. Having a support system with others in similar situations was absolutely necessary to my ability to get through this trauma. To have my views challenged, as well as supported. At times I didn't like what I was told, but always, there were voices that were spot on, and seeing all the various perspectives helped me better formulate my own.

I will be forever grateful for finding this online community. I may never meet any of you in person, but you've helped me more than you will ever know.

somanyyears posted 11/16/2019 13:22 PM

..can't begin to guess what other reality I might be living if not for this site.

If only it had been around in 1987, there would have been a different outcome for sure!

SI would have advised me to sue my stinking friend and lawyer for ethical malpractice and misconduct... and any other legal charges I could apply.

I might also have been told how to get the truth then rather than 22 years later! (2009)


sadly, I must say that I've never learned as much about a topic as the one I've read here ..about infidelity.

smy Thanks DS & MH

J707 posted 11/16/2019 13:31 PM

I found SI 2 months after my final Dday (wish I would've found it years back on my first round of Ddays). I spit out my story, got spot on advise and just kind of left and went on with my dazed and confused life. It wasn't until about 6 months later I came back, still dazed and confused as I was knee deep in the D process. Once again, spot on advise. I credit SI in my healing journey so much. We all understand and I love all of you for your time and guidance. I'm not sure where I would be without you all. I wouldn't have known about grey rock and NC. I wanted answers but you all told me to leave it alone because I wasn't going to get any, you were right and I'm ok now without them. Oh dude, it works miracles! Drama free everyday life from that soul sucking covert narcissistic evil XW of mine. I feel bad for her BF but she leaves me alone.

paboy posted 11/16/2019 13:42 PM

Probably still in the long term depression that I had been in. With the same anxiety levels. The same self esteem problems. The real feelings that I was desperately treading water and going under.

SI, you were a 'god send'.

BearlyBreathing posted 11/16/2019 13:44 PM

I probably would have ended up in in-patient. I was a mess. And my head was buried sooo deep in the sand. Gentle people here kept pointing out the obvious (that I could not see to save my own life). It took me too long to get out of infidelity, but I might still be with him if SI had not helped me steel my spine.

Thank you MH and DS and all the mods and guides. You all are angels.

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