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landclark posted 12/3/2019 17:35 PM

My WH carried on with his first AP via a secret Facebook account, so I had the pleasure of seeing lots of dick pics and reading a lot of different conversations (ones you can’t unsee and I can never ever eat cherries again). Anyway, a couple of stupid things they did was type cum instead of come in non sexual conversation (that was already a pet peeve of mine), and they’d capitalize certain words like hard, or pleasure, or big, again in non sexual conversations. I find this to be incredibly juvenile. They were both in the mid to late 40s during the affair time.

Anyway, to my point. My WH left me a note before he left for work and he capitalized and underlined certain words. Though I know why he did it, I still find it a bit triggering.

Does anybody else have these random triggers? Did your WS do anything stupid like this? I feel like we talk a lot about the stupid things they say, but not as much about the stupid things they do. Like my WH saved porn to our shared computer under his account, but a computer that I’m the admin of so can change passwords to any account anytime (and I did after I started discovering stuff, which is how I found the porn). His first AP would get up at like 415 am every day to talk to him on Facebook. I don’t care if you’re my pretend soul mate or not, unless you’re my crying child or taking me to the airport for a fun trip, I’m not getting up at 415 am for you. Same with getting up in the middle of the night. No amount of porn is worth that.

I know triggers pop up randomly, but this has to be one of the most random ones so far. Lol

UneedToSmile posted 12/3/2019 18:39 PM

I am starting to believe that I won’t have things like this to trigger me for much longer. Little things like that would bother me too....and I’d read into them whether I was supposed to or not. What’s bothering me right now, on the brink of leaving, is all the little phrases we came up with together and used between our family. I find myself using them with our daughters and I have flashbacks to good times. I wish I could have those times back, and I know it’s almost a certainty that I won’t get them.

As for FB and other social media...,namely snapchat in my situation, I have a new slogan. “Making Cheating Easier since 2011.”

landclark posted 12/3/2019 19:02 PM

As for FB and other social media...,namely snapchat in my situation, I have a new slogan. “Making Cheating Easier since 2011.”

Absolutely!

I hope there are many good times ahead for you. ❤️

UneedToSmile posted 12/3/2019 19:57 PM

Best of luck to you too! I hope you get the peace you deserve. How crappy that infidelity is the gift that keeps on giving. Hugs!!

sunwillshine posted 12/3/2019 22:34 PM

More than one exclamation point. My fwh and one of his ow used them repeatedly and to excess. Early on, my fwh sent me a text with several exclamation points. I think, I must have said something to the effect of, if he ever did that again be would find himself divorced. Great thing about my fwh is that he does his very best not to repeat triggering behavior. He has not used more than one exclamation point in years!
Yes, it seems the communication between cheaters is on a middle school level. My fwh told me when he was getting me all the back communications between them He was embarrassed and sad that he had been so immature.
Imo, people who cheat are immature.

Maudlin posted 12/3/2019 22:46 PM

I found a truly cringe worthy poem LLCAH wrote to her. I’m in school and am English major and now reading poetry it makes me think of his stupid fucking love poem. To a hooker.

I have never gotten a love poem from him, by the way. I suppose because I haven’t got fake boobs and plastic surgery paid for by being an escort, have stretch marks from having his kids, and no amount of money would make me put up with his bullshit.

I need a vomit emoji.

Tallgirl posted 12/4/2019 05:03 AM

like writing out what you are grateful for and the AP appears twice in a list of 3. And dating it....

Like giving the AP furniture from your home. That your wife bought?

Like giving your wife 2 bags of Epsom salts from a drugstore bought on Xmas eve because you have been busy with her.

Walloped posted 12/4/2019 05:15 AM

Like giving your wife 2 bags of Epsom salts from a drugstore bought on Xmas eve because you have been busy with her.

Did you return the favor and give him Preparation H to go along with your shoe up his ass?

landclark posted 12/4/2019 06:46 AM

I found a truly cringe worthy poem LLCAH wrote to her.

Oh yes, the poems.

My WH wrote more than one to the first AP (They were sent via email so I missed out on reading them), but she also sent him several. Of course he gushed. I’m not an English major but even I know they sucked. Then he sent one to a cam girl.

Like you, I’ve never gotten one. Of course now I don’t want one.

landclark posted 12/4/2019 06:47 AM

Imo, people who cheat are immature.

Absolutely true for my WH.

Tallgirl posted 12/4/2019 06:48 AM

Yes, Epsom salts. One was lavender and one was mint.

I wish I had put my foot up his ass, but I took it between the eyes, smiled and pretended it was great because my sweet boys were watching.

Apparently, the socks I bought him were incredibly offensive. He told me after DDay how offended he was when I bought him socks, thought I did it on purpose to insult him. He conveniently forgot that all socks came with shirts and sweaters.

landclark posted 12/4/2019 06:49 AM

like writing out what you are grateful for and the AP appears twice in a list of 3. And dating it....

Like giving the AP furniture from your home. That your wife bought?

Like giving your wife 2 bags of Epsom salts from a drugstore bought on Xmas eve because you have been busy with her.

WTH to all of this! He sounds like a real treat. Definitely deserves a shoe up the ass.

Tallgirl posted 12/4/2019 07:01 AM

Ever read you own posts and think WTF?

I am having that moment now. Wondering why I still talk to him.

landclark posted 12/4/2019 07:16 AM

Ever read you own posts and think WTF?

Yep. All the time.

Tallgirl posted 12/5/2019 06:16 AM

Ok. This morning staring me in the face were the two offending bags of Epsom salts. They were Life brand. Aka no name. And mint was Eucalyptus.

EllieKMAS posted 12/5/2019 06:30 AM

TG... Wow. Epsom salts. I'm just smh over here.

Mine is bowling. Didn't much like it to begin with, but the xdouchehole waxed proc for some time about how he wanted to take the 18yo skanklet bowling on their first date. Cus apparently he had wanted to go for years (even tho he never said so) and I "never did what he wanted to do".

I think back on the last year and am frankly amazed at myself that I never once slapped him. And he very richly deserved it.

[This message edited by EllieKMAS at 6:31 AM, December 5th (Thursday)]

Wintergarden posted 12/5/2019 06:37 AM

Ok. This morning staring me in the face were the two offending bags of Epsom salts. They were Life brand. Aka no name. And mint was Eucalyptus.

Tallgirl I hope you have binned them now.

Chaos posted 12/5/2019 06:42 AM

Donuts. Donuts are my random trigger. AP sent WH a close up photo of a donut on her boob. I haven't eaten a donut since DDay1

Tallgirl - No words. But I am compelled to google "dastardly things to do with Epsom salts" in solidarity.

EllieKMAS posted 12/5/2019 06:50 AM

Chaos I know you hate donuts... But every time I see them now I smile and think of you!

landclark posted 12/5/2019 08:29 AM

Chaos I know you hate donuts... But every time I see them now I smile and think of you!

Ha ha. Same.

I think back on the last year and am frankly amazed at myself that I never once slapped him.

I admittedly slapped my WH once. I have no regrets.