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AP thinks I'm a danger to her

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ShatteredSakura posted 1/10/2020 15:52 PM

AP's are the danger to us. They invade our lives and privacy, damage our mental health, and threaten us with disease.

Very profound!

Earlier I was dead serious when writing it. Now reading it back, all I can hear is this scene from Spongebob Squarepants...

cancuncrushed posted 1/10/2020 20:31 PM

Why do believe the Ap? Why would anything she says or does be real or honest?

I agree with the above poster. She made it up. She wanted to talk to your husband. I bet she wore something nice as she told of her fears. She needs protection from you. Omg.
Please. Was she not afraid to break up a marriage. Have adulterous sex? But sheís terrified of online narcissist research?

She must be snooping you. I have no doubt she knew your spouse was working there. She doesnít seem very smart. This was pretty weak.

Donít take the bait. She would love you to lose your sh**t and look crazy. She would love you to fight with your spouse. She would love to stir up anything.

Itís very hard to take the high road. Especially after youíve been treated badly. Itís really better. Especially if it gets legal. If it doesnít. You still look like the the better normal dignified one. Itís very hard.

[This message edited by cancuncrushed at 8:46 PM, January 10th (Friday)]

littleAvocet posted 1/11/2020 07:29 AM

Thank you, I appreciate everyoneís answers so much. Youíre all right. Thereís no point going down the rabbit hole of what she said. The fact that she broke NC is an issue, and one that I think can only be resolved by moving away. We were already planning on moving, so this just underlines the necessity of that.
It sometimes feels like the nightmare that never ends.

[This message edited by littleAvocet at 7:30 AM, January 11th (Saturday)]

KingofNothing posted 1/11/2020 08:01 AM

Donít let this woman rent space in your head for one more second.

There are no laws preventing you from researching anything online, and looking up or discussing any topic. Unless sheís got magical hacker powers she doesnít know what you get up to in your free time.

This is just her being desperate for your fWHís attention.

WithGrace posted 1/11/2020 11:46 AM

Your fWH ended his relationship with AP and however many months later she is still scrounging for scraps. She is clearly a desperate woman with poor judgement. It's sad when you think about how emotionally damaged AP must be to still be trying to insert herself in your lives.

I, like a few other posters, do not believe AP is actually afraid of you and she simply used whatever she could think of to try to elicit an emotional response from your fWH. He did the right thing by ignoring her and informing you about what happened. I wouldn't worry about lawyers and just ignore her. Behaviour principles dictate she will eventually give up if she gets no response.

Now let's look at this situation at face value by assuming AP is actually afraid of you. I don't believe this is true but let's try it on for a second. If AP is genuinely afraid of you then I say good! She cheated with a married man and uncomfortable emotions are part of the consequences of her poor judgement and choices. She ought to feel ashamed of herself and possibly, afraid of any contact or confrontation with the BS. You have the higher moral ground here so do not allow the statements of a liar and cheater cause you to feel less than.

The way I see it, either way you are doing just fine. Focus on your marriage and the fact that fWH did the best he could under awful circumstances. Leave AP to take her drama elsewhere.

k8la posted 1/11/2020 13:01 PM

She wishes she were that significant to you.

Looking up narcissism could have been about anybody in your life, but she's not in your life so what's it to her and how would she know what you're looking at? Has she planted a virus on your computer or something that she can track what you're looking at?

She wants to be significant to someone.

Starve her of that supply.

SisterMilkshake posted 1/11/2020 17:03 PM


Looking up narcissism could have been about anybody in your life
Its funny because because, of course, a narcissist thinks everything is about them.

[This message edited by SisterMilkshake at 5:04 PM, January 11th (Saturday)]

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