Cookies on SurvivingInfidelity.com®

SurvivingInfidelity.com® uses cookies to enhance your visit to our website. This is a requirement for participants to login, post and use other features. Visitors may opt out, but the website will be less functional for you.

more information about cookies...

Return to Forum List

Return to Off Topic

SurvivingInfidelity.com® > Off Topic

You are not logged in. Login here or register.

Questions about disability

Adlham posted 6/14/2020 10:17 AM

So, both my primary and my neurologist are encouraging me to apply for disability and why haven't I done so already?

Because I'm stubborn is my go-to answer. It feels like I'm giving up and I worked so fucking hard to get where I am and it just sucks because I'm only 48 (for another 6 days, anyways lol).

I'm really depressed. So much so that I broke down and started a new mood stabilizer because the current meds weren't enough.

Everything has pretty much sucked for the last several months and having to come to terms with the fact that this is my new normal is a huge struggle.

So my question is would it be getter where I try to do it on my own & get a denial so I have to hire a lawyer or should I skip that step and go straight to finding a lawyer?

I will be unloading here, too. I process things better if I can talk it out, so to speak, and seeing as how I also need to write a politely scathing letter to the surgeon, I need to get to a place where I can say more than Go Fuck Yourself.

That will be a bit later, though. I'm not quite awake yet & it's supermarket day, so I don't have time right now.

josiep posted 6/14/2020 15:28 PM

I'm no expert on it but rumor has it that they turn everyone down on the first application. But I know someone who was approved from the getgo so you might as well try it on your own.

I'm not sure if this is true but if it is, it's worth knowing: The sooner you file, the more you'll collect because once you're approved, you collect retroactively back to the day you applied.

I also highly encourage you to apply now and go through the process (which will include getting an attorney if you're turned down the first time) and you can revisit whether you really need it later on. If you improve, you can always go back and tell them you're better and don't need it. There are also programs for people who are on disability to try to go back to work on a trial basis to see if they can do it.

So don't be stubborn, just go for it and things will sort themselves out in due time. Apply and then let the process work while you rest and relax and recuperate as much as possible and eat bonbons or start a new hobby.

Mel61 posted 6/14/2020 15:31 PM

It varies state to state as I understand it. My sister had MS and it took two tries and a court hearing to get her on disability. Check with a lawyer specializing in disability law there are ways to get on disability and protect family assets. Working with trust and other vehicles.

SoHappyNow posted 6/14/2020 16:04 PM


I think that you have two issues going on here. One is the best way to collect all of the money that you are owed - which will help sustain you if you're no longer capable of earning. I can't help you with that.

The other issue is: How in the world can you accept an unacceptable situation?

I have some experience with this one. I had licenses as a personal trainer, 200 hour registered yoga teacher, and I was teaching yoga classes. My physical condition didn't allow me to personal train. My energy continued to decline, and I was sent back to the US from the country where I taught yoga. It took a LONG time time to figure out my physical issues...years.

You know who helped me the most? A dog I adopted shortly after getting back to the US. He was a mostly blind, with hip issues rottweiler. He had been at the rescue group for 2 years. Nobody wants a big black dog. But something in his picture tugged at my heart. And he became my greatest teacher about how to accept what is, and to choose happiness anyway. He was a constantly cheerful and gentle soul. He got many many of my friends to consider adopting handicapped animals.

I'm not suggesting for you to adopt a dog. But maybe seek out people who are struggling physically as much or more than you. And are yet cheerful. It may help, I hope.

LadyG posted 6/14/2020 17:22 PM

Get a Lawyer or a Disability Advocate or both to help you, now.

Donít allow it to spiral down to a point where you are in a desperate situation. I have seen it too often.

PricklePatch posted 6/14/2020 22:32 PM

I have chronic illness. I lived in Cali at the time, they made me see a state doctor. I had applied to social security and got it the first try.

Sisters husband had a stoke he was a RN. He is having short term memory issues signed up got it the first time. However, the new rule he told me is you donít get Medicare for two years. You will get back pay, however.

The1stWife posted 6/14/2020 22:35 PM

If they believe you can work at all SS will deny you. Get a lawyer. Itís a long process and challenging.

[This message edited by The1stWife at 4:27 AM, June 15th (Monday)]

ZenMumWalking posted 6/15/2020 04:03 AM

oops, misunderstanding.

[This message edited by ZenMumWalking at 9:42 AM, June 15th (Monday)]

The1stWife posted 6/15/2020 04:31 AM

I just saw it and corrected it. It was an autocorrect that I did not catch before I posted. In no way did I mean that!

Please accept my sincere apologies as I never would post ANYTHING like that.

BTW my family is Jewish (I was raised Christian however) and I would never disrespect the Jewish religion or any other religion.

Again please accept my apology and I will make sure this never happens again.

tushnurse posted 6/15/2020 09:08 AM

I would go ahead and get a disability attorney.

I think getting it or not is dependent upon the state you are in too.
In My state everyone I have ever known that applied was denied the first time.
I even had a friend w/ brain cancer (Nurse) and Crohn's she was unable to see therefore couldn't work. She was denied the first time and told that in 6 months she would be better or dead. Yup.
Charming Right?

Unfortunately there are a lot of people out there that abuse the system and use "Back issues" "Mood Disorders" or "Severe Depression" as reasons that they need disability and then these same people do side cash only jobs on the side, thus the abuse has led to the auto-denials.

Is there any work you can do within your profession that would allow you to still work? I personally changed from bedside work to case management about 10 years ago and a big part of that was due to physical limitations on being able to work 12 hour shifts, lift and pull pt's, as I have back issues, and an RA like condition. Recently the RA has been unmanageable as far as pain and fatigue. I honestly don't know that I would still be working every day if I haven't worked from home during this whole covid thing. Med switching is occuring yet again, and I have started to slowly realize things need to change or I am going to end up in the same boat.

Marie2792 posted 6/15/2020 09:20 AM

I am on disability for seven years. Please get an attorney. I used a rep advocate that didnít nickel and dime me for for everything. They took only their entitled percentage at the end when I won my case. If you would like more info or some links to help you research, please reach out to me Iím happy to help. I also have a neurological disease. It took me a year to win after being denied the first time. Lawyer picks it up after first denial.

Marie2792 posted 6/15/2020 09:21 AM

Prickle patch the tile for Medicaire is that you are eligible two years from the date you are approved for. Many become eligible right away because of how long they are out of work and wait the process out.

ZenMumWalking posted 6/15/2020 09:37 AM

Damn autocorrect!!

soverybetrayed posted 6/15/2020 10:42 AM

When I became disabled the company I worked for made me apply for SSDI. I was approved in 3 months due to the number of hospitalizations, urgent care visits and my neurologist giving up on helping me. It took me 2 weeks to fill out the questionnaire they sent because of the severe migraines and I had lost vision in my right eye. I made sure they knew how hard it was to fill out the form and why.

I talked to a former SSDI worker who said they are trained to deny the application the first time regardless of the person's conditions.

If you have doctors telling you to file then you have a better chance of being approved for it. Get letters from your doctors and send them in when you apply or when you get the 10 page questionnaire. Be completely honest about you limitations even if it's embarrassing. Also, be careful not to type the answers if typing is part of your job. They will deny you because you can type. Message me if you need more info.

Adlham posted 6/15/2020 10:55 AM

Thanks everyone. This is just a nightmare for me.

I can't sit for more than 20 minutes, can't walk more than a half mile, tops, and even then I am pushing myself through the pain.

I work about 2 hours a day because I need it for my mental health. And my boss is very flexible and understanding. I'm also the only employee and she could do it without me, for the most part. And the part that she can't do is something I can do from home.

I am mourning all the things I can't do anymore, some of which is honestly ridiculous.

For example, I am really sad that I won't be able to ski anymore. Please as if I have been skiing at any point over the last 20 years! And I only do cross-country in the first place! But just knowing that some things are closed to me for the ret of my life is just difficult and I'm really bitter right now. Its super stupid of me but here we are LOL.

It will be ok and my husband is really supportive. He just listens and tells me that we will face these new challenges together.

I just need to get out of my own way.

BearlyBreathing posted 6/15/2020 19:52 PM

Adlham. that stinksó I am sorry. But happy that your H will be by your side to help you through it.

And I get the wanting something you havenít doneó itís about the choice being taken from you. I had cervical cancer in my 20s and couldnít have kids after that. I NEVER wanted kids. But still pissed me off to no end that my right to not have kids voluntarily was taken from me. Yeah, crazy but normal, I think.

Hang in there, strong lady.

PricklePatch posted 6/15/2020 22:12 PM

Thanks for clarifying. My sister didnít tell me that.

Return to Forum List

Return to Off Topic

© 2002-2020 SurvivingInfidelity.com ®. All Rights Reserved.     Privacy Policy