It hurts so much that he is happy with her and has no remorse for what he’s done, despite how much I did for him and how long we were together.
((((MistletoeEl)))) I am so, so sorry! My ex-husband of six years, who I met back in 1990, left me abruptly as well - over the phone, when I was away for work, trying to make a better life for us.
My ex also told me that he was absolutely NOT leaving me for anyone else, but it turns out that on that very day he had met some random woman at his best bud's place of employment, told her that he was single, and exchanged numbers with her.
I honestly think people who leave this way are not emotionally mature by any stretch and have no concept of what true, lasting love is. They are selfish - they are always looking for the next best thing. And they never find it, because everyone gets boring when life gets real.
I have had two years to analyze and think about everything that happened leading up to my marriage ending, and even though the end was abrupt the red flags I ignored were numerous. He was embarrassed by my weight gain (20 pounds) and wouldn't take me anywhere or allow me to post pics of us together on social media.
He asked a woman to meet him for coffee a day after I left town for work. She declined. I found the texts.
He had a very short temper with me and would blow up over the smallest things.
He wanted me to work and earn, but whined and complained about being "bored and lonely" whenever I wasn't home catering to his every need.
I always knew that he had cheated on his first wife (with prostitutes!), and told myself "How honest of him to share this with me." He said that he cheated due to lack of sex at home.
He also told me that after his divorce, he briefly dated a woman who he "had to slap" when she showed up at his house drunk one night.
Well, once he'd left me, these women came out of the woodwork and were only too happy to share with me the FULL story of how he'd treated them, this man who I thought was the great love of my life. The woman he slapped? Turns out he held a gun to her head, and dragged her out of his carport by her hair when she showed up to confront him for cheating on her! He was in bed with another woman.
The woman who my ex met on the day he dumped me over the phone ended up dating him for about three months. After she dumped him, he began dating a divorced mom who has four kids by three different men, who approached him on social media.
In neither case did he seek these specific women out because they were in any way special or unique. The opportunity was there, his life at home was boring to him, and he truly has no concept of what mature, devoted love is. So he cheated, and left me.
It's sort of what your partner did as well. In no way is that woman from work superior to you. She could have been ANY woman.
I know your pain, and to this day, I still occasionally peek at the social media of my ex's girlfriend. He blocked me once I exposed his cheating, and I haven't heard from him in a year-and-a-half.
All I could do was forge ahead and try to make a life for myself without him. I never returned to our home. I couldn't bear to see his face. I left all my belongings behind and started over with whatever I had in storage. I now live in a tiny house across the country, and though I am lonely for the man I thought he was, I am lucky to be away from the selfish liar he actually was.
I pray that one day you realize you're luckier away from your cheating partner as well.
If he "changes his mind" and wants to come home, remember that it's for selfish reasons and has nothing to do with actual remorse.
[This message edited by NorCalLost at 5:00 PM, September 15th (Tuesday)]