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Sad news day

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thebighurt posted 9/29/2020 17:01 PM

It has been a dark, gloomy, rainy day here. Perfect day to set the tone for some calls.

I heard from my Sister-I-L who told me a member of her family passed from COVID. They were told after a bit that he was better, then not doing as well, then that he wouldn't make it.

This was a wonderful person, veteran, always there to lend a hand without having to ask. He and his W had retired early a couple of years ago, financially well enough off to plan some fun things; bought a camper, the motorcycle he always wanted, extended family near-by, including grandkids they adore - and who adore them. Now she is left to face life and a future without him and still fairly young.

He had several co-morbidities, but was not around anyone they knew could expose him. Always conscious of being careful; safe.... SIL says she is worried about the rest of the family now and can't help but think who might have also been exposed.

Just before that call, a neighbor called to visit. Says it feels so strange that we live so close and only visit by phone. During that call, she said her granddaughter is one week into isolation for testing positive for COVID at her college. A college that has had so many cases that all classes are now online only and sports, events and any other gatherings are forbidden. Luckily, I guess, the granddaughter has only mild symptoms so far.

I guess the weather matches the news. I just keep thinking of SIL's family and feeling so sad.

DragnHeart posted 9/29/2020 17:28 PM

I'm so very sorry. Such sad news. Hugs.

number4 posted 9/29/2020 17:52 PM

Sorry to hear about a challenging day. I get the being worried about who else in that family might catch it. Our church administrator has lost five family members to COVID - her mother, two uncles, and two cousins. I can't even imagine what these families must be going through, especially when it sounds like they were doing everything right to keep safe.

thebighurt posted 9/29/2020 22:45 PM

Thank you Dragn. Appreciate the virtual hugs. Will pass along.

That families have endured so much loss of loved ones is so heartbreaking, Number4. Even losing anyone to something preventable is tragic. Sometimes leads to even more loss as with ZMW's posts about her DS's friend.

All we can do is hope what we are doing to hopefully stay healthy is enough.

Jeaniegirl posted 9/29/2020 23:00 PM

BigHurt, I am so sorry for the loss.

When you were describing the dear person who passed, I thought for a while you were talking about my dear friend I lost yesterday. Except my friend wasn't retired yet. He was my GUY FRIEND since we were 13 years old. The guy friend who would come and change a flat tire at midnight. He and I had been through a lot together and always had each other's backs. He had Covid19 in early May but got through it but had extensive lung damage. Unfortunately he got pneumonia 10 days ago and nothing could save him. I feel so badly because I'm in quarantine for a few more days as I've been exposed by a family member's girlfriend - so I could not go to hospice to see him. His sweet wife kept me updated and the sad part is he was asking for me.

I feel your concern and pain and it's something we are all having to deal with. Gloomy days for sure.

PricklePatch posted 9/29/2020 23:05 PM

I am sorry for your losses. I donít think people realize surviving COVID is the first step in the damage it does to your body. Many hugs!

BearlyBreathing posted 9/30/2020 00:57 AM

I am so sorry for your loss and the loss of all the lives to Covid that the dear people on SI have lost. Boggles my mind that some people think itís not real.

WhatsRight posted 9/30/2020 07:33 AM

Oh God. This is so sad. 😢

It is so sad, but so appropriate that we hear about these people who are suffering and are dying. They become people to us and not just numbers. Just think of these sad sad stories and multiply it by 200,000Ö And thatís only in the United States.

Iím so sorry for everyoneís loss. We have been so lucky here. My husband and I are both older and have conditions that make us so susceptible...Especially him. It never makes sense why some survive and some do not.

Itís all just so very tragic. Too many lives lost.

tushnurse posted 9/30/2020 07:37 AM

Why did I open this??? Such sad news.

To all who are grieving now please let their memories bring you happiness and peace.

((((TBH, and Jeanie))))

Chili posted 9/30/2020 08:26 AM

Oh man - the suck just keeps coming. thebighurt - Jeanie - everyone else who has lost loved ones and all of us struggling with difficult times: just...just...well crap, I seem to be at a loss to find any words of inspiration or solidarity this morning.

Everyone just keep trying to be good self-caretakers right now.

sisoon posted 9/30/2020 14:07 PM

No words, just .

I'm glad we can share here.

thebighurt posted 9/30/2020 14:16 PM

JeanieGirl, I'm so sorry you lost such a wonderful friend. You know what a loss this was to so many. SIL always said he was the one everyone looked to. He worked to help hold a family reunion early in the summer that sadly was his last. Because of him it happened and everyone who was able to attend had a safe visit. Like you, SIL was also unable to visit while he was sick or attend his services that followed because both she and H are also at high risk for exposure.

Thank you BearlyBrathing. I guess too many people are "from Missouri" and will only believe it when they become infected or lose someone they love.

PricklePatch, that is what I have worried about, even with my neighbor's teenage DGD who seems to have only minor symptoms. So little is known about this that they cannot tell her with certainty that she will have no effects once this acute illness has passed.

WhatsRight, I know how devoted you are to your H and how hard you are working and sacrificing to keep you both safe.

Thank you, TushNurse. I will remind SIL of that when we talk again. I was way too much in shock to think of much yesterday.

The fact that you posted here says a lot, Chili. Thank you for the important reminder of self care that is so important now when everything in life seems to be so stressful. I know my blood pressure was very high (for me) the rest of the day yesterday.

thebighurt posted 9/30/2020 14:17 PM

Thank you Sisoon. That's why I brought it here.

cantaccept posted 9/30/2020 18:52 PM

I am so sorry to hear this. You are such a sweet, caring lady. I wish you didn't have to have sadness. Just sending a hug to you.

thebighurt posted 10/1/2020 09:58 AM

Aww, thank you, Can. That description reads more like it's about you than me. Nice of you to take time for someone else when you have been in such pain. Hope you are finding relief.

zebra25 posted 10/1/2020 10:17 AM

(((TBH))) (((Jeanie)))

HFSSC posted 10/1/2020 11:32 AM

I've had to distance myself from just about everything COVID related for a little while. But had to respond here.

tbh, the description you wrote,

a member of her family passed from COVID. They were told after a bit that he was better, then not doing as well, then that he wouldn't make it.

is, unfortunately, not an uncommon course for COVID to take. It's exactly what happened with my MIL. When she got off the ventilator and recovered enough to go home, we were all so excited. And then a few weeks later, over the course of about 48 hours she was just gone.

I've posted a good bit about my job. I work in a skilled nursing/rehab facility. Our residents haven't been able to see their families since March. They are sad and lonely and bored and isolated despite all the efforts of our recreation staff as well as other employees to keep them engaged.

We had an outbreak that started July 4th with one resident. Within less than a month, we had 17 COVID related deaths and over 120 staff and patients who tested positive. At least 3/4 of patients and over half of staff became symptomatic. I was out for 4 weeks with it. As that outbreak subsided, many of the original patients who had gotten sick and "recovered" have now either passed away or been admitted to hospice. We were ONE testing date (facility wide testing mandated by the state) away from being declared COVID-free and had 5 patients on a different unit from the first outbreak all test positive. 3 days later, another 6. Feels like it is never going to end.

I am so tired and angry and disgusted with hearing people complain about masks. Making fun of the statistics. Screaming about their rights and disparaging the "sheep" who are trying to do the right thing. It's a fucking piece of cloth. It's not made of bees and barbed wire or electrical currents. Nobody's asking anyone to drill holes and permanently attach anything. What is so fucking hard about it?????

I've had COVID twice. My 90 days from the last positive test is rapidly approaching. I'll probably get it again since I seem to be abnormally susceptible to it. I can't limit my travel or activities any further without just staying at home and never leaving, which isn't an option.

I'm sorry if this is a T/J or a different direction than intended.

I am sad, too. I read a couple of days ago about an otherwise healthy young man from NC who died due to COVID complications. I have 2 friends/acquaintances who have been on ventilator support for close to 2 months. Decent, good, hard-working people who care about others and contribute meaningfully to the world around them. Meanwhile, the anti-maskers just keep blundering around spewing ignorance along with their respiratory droplets everywhere they go.

I'm so tired.

WhatsRight posted 10/1/2020 19:02 PM



My niece is an administrator of three different hospice facilities. She maintains a positive attitude on the outsideÖ I just canít imagine what sheís feeling on the inside.

She is a, roll with the punches kind of person. But you can only roll so much until you just feel like laying there.


DragnHeart posted 10/1/2020 19:09 PM


I'm so sorry. I just want to hug you so tight my dear.

Jeaniegirl posted 10/2/2020 00:54 AM

No politics meant ... but the president of the USA and his wife have both tested positive for Covid19.

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