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WSO told me last night that her bosses at work had a meeting with her and are extremely unhappy with her performance. She takes too many days off, constantly arrives late, and when she is there she spends too much time on her phone or the Internet when she should be doing work. She can not afford to lose her job. They are giving her one last chance, but she is on shaky ground.

We had an argument, about how her bad attitude, selfish behaviour, and the A not only ruined her relationship with me, but is ruining and affecting her whole life.

She lost it, began screaming at me, blaming me. She smashed the remote to my TV to pieces. At some point she threatened that she was just going to kill herself. I went to call her parents and was then going to ring the emergency number to come deal with her, when she became physically abusive. She was punching and kicking me, she scratched me and drew blood. I backed away from her and was just yelling at her to stop. Eventually she calmed down. She apologised, and just said she wanted to go to sleep, so we did.

This morning she woke me up and tried to have sex with me before she left for work. Neither of us was really into it, and I know she was only just going through the motions. Her physical abuse of me was obviously playing on my mind. She has been texting me all day telling me how sorry she is, that she will never do it again, that she is going to do the right things and better herself as a person for me.

She has an IC appointment on Thursday, and both of them have asked me to come along to the session, so we can discuss her progress etc.

I feel numb...

(((Jesu)))

Is there anywhere she can go until the IC appt? Her parents or other family? It's gone to far and you both need space apart

Not really. Her family is quite far.

I have somewhere I can go, but I'm afraid to leave her alone. She does not want me to go.

Jesu}}}

Just two words for you brother...

GET OUT!

You are not responsible for her health and well-being. She is physically and emotionally abusive and then threatens self-harm which is highly manipulative.

((Jesu))

She needs to see a mental health professional yesterday. She needs to admit that she is in a crisis situation. Doing so will allow her to get the serious help she needs, will allow you to get out from under the threats of suicide, and potentially stop any fallout from her employer.

Not sure where you are located, Jesu, but if you are in the USA, she can enact her FMLA rights, which protects her job while she seeks medical help.

Please consider that option. Otherwise, you need to get out to protect yourself, even if it's just a temporary departure. There's no excuse for physical abuse.

Take care of yourself.

Oh hell no. She doesn't get to beat on you and then essentially whore herself out for your forgiveness.

I say this as a woman whose husband wanted to buy his way out after physically attacking me.

She needs to get out. She drew blood??!!! She should be on her knees begging for your forgiveness, not thinking a quickly should smooth things over.

She needs to be away for a few days. You deserve to feel safe in your home.

Thanx for the feedback guys.

We are in Australia, not the USA.

Jesu, brother, ugh. (()) It sucks. It hurts. I understand.

She will do it again. and again. and again. She needs consequences. Call police. Document the attack. Keep evidence safe. Carry a Voice Activated Recorder (VAR) because she will turn the attacks against you in some way.

Ran this gamut. I speak from direct experience. If where you are is anything like where I am... professional support (victim services, most of the police) will be hard to find- but it does exist. Ignore the comments and ridicule you will hear and keep seeking the support. You will find it. What she did was wrong and horrible.

DO NOT nor let her act like it is no big deal. Do not rug sweep this. Recognize the significance of this, now.

You must protect yourself. She is responsible for herself. The threat of harming herself is NOT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY- Especially if it is mixed in with physical attacks on you.

I am sorry this happened to you.

She's on her way home from work.

I think we're going to try and pretend like it never happened?

The best thing you can do right now is to stay away from her. When you go with her to her appts it is up to YOU to bring this up.

She has issues that are huge. In the past when she talked about suicide what was going on in her life? Was she being held accountable for something...did she not get her way..What.

So now she is starting to hit you? She needs to learn to keep her hands to herself and stop acting like a spoiled brat. (Sorry if that was harsh) The next time she does that do not threaten to calll the police, her family or anyone else. Walk right out the door. Even if you only stay gone for an hour or so.

She brought all of this havoc upon herself..ALL of it.

Be it threatening to kill herself, raising a hand to you or whatever her latest ploy is to not be accountable for her behavior. Leave and then call emergency services. She doesn't believe you will do it. Strength to you.

using a tablet and hitting return equals posting. Sorry if it sounds like I am beating you with a 2x4.

stop acting like a spoiled brat

Nail -----> Head

Jesu)))

Read here:

http://www.heart-2-heart.ca/men/index.htm

Especially about the cycle of abuse, Really, that site was gold to me.

It may or may not apply to your sitch, but I used the calm/quiet time to make my plans to escape, detach, and get to a safe place.

IOW, I played along with ignoring & not confronting - for my safety.

So my suggestion is to make plans to get safe.

Once you're safe - as out of her range as you can possibly arrange - then see, from afar, if she does the work to fix herself.

Intolerable. There is zero difference from a man battering his wife - and a wife battering her husband.

When this happened to me, I moved out. I should have called the police :(

MIL then reported to FIL that I hit his daughter (WW). They whole thinh snowballed to where I was the batterer. It was surreal.

I don't anything about domestic violence laws in Australia but you need to press charges for assault and battery. Not to punish her but to protect yourself when she tries to turn this around on you.

She needs help. Serious mental health help.

Having sex with her, rug sweeping and pretending it never happened will not help.

Please report this and find a safe place to go.

last time this popped up, you said you would call 911...what happened???

That is your roll here as a caring non-psychiactric-professional adult...You call 911, inform them of her history and current state, and hand her over.

It really is the right thing to do.

A possible scenario....

She COULD harm herself, and then call the police and tell them you hit her. She could then tell them she was PROTECTING HERSELF by fighting back to explain the marks she put on you.

Tread carefully, here.

Document everything. I'd hate to see you thrown in jail for assault and battery when YOU'RE the victim.

last time this popped up, you said you would call 911...what happened???

I tried and WSO started assaulting me!

Document everything. I'd hate to see you thrown in jail for assault and battery when YOU'RE the victim.

After she physically abused me I started videoing on my phone, and she even admitted on camera that she had assaulted me and was apologising. I've filmed her a few times now in order to protect myself from potential lying about the situation on her part.