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No, not for me!

My roomie's first great grandbaby was born yesterday via C-Section. C was called because baby was breeched and wasn't turning. Original due date was next week Thursday, so a week early. It turns out the cord was wrapped around his neck twice. Despite that, C delivery went well. Baby boy delivered at 6 lbs., 9 oz. and 18.5" long.

Well, she's becoming increasingly upset because the baby doesn't cry much if at all. Didn't cry at birth. Didn't cry with first immunization (forget what it was). Apparently he only "whimpered” and fussed when given the shot. Barely makes a peep.

I spent most of last night consoling her that he's fine. Told her C births are "quiet" births, that's there's not much for a baby to cry about if you don't have to take the shoot to get here.

I can tell she's ruminating over it. Despite a lengthily phone call with her daughter last night in which she was assured the baby is fine, she keeps mentioning things like "He should be crying...he's only eating 1 oz. at his feedings (he’s being bottled fed)...he should be noisier...he’s way too small – I’ll bet he’s premature and they got the due date wrong." And on and on and on.

This morning she was a grump ass despite my telling her again not to be borrowing trouble and that I’m sure he’s fine. Argh. I want to help her out here, but I'm afraid she'll go Google this and get even more freaked out. She’s not exactly a fan of her grandson’s wife, and I’m getting the sense that she’s heading down the “It’s Jessica’s fault” path. They got pregnant three months after their wedding, so he's a Whoopsie and she's completely convinced they are not ready for parenthood (they're both 26 - older than I was!)

Is this stuff normal? I'm running out of ways to convince her he's fine - or is he?

TIA,

AJ’s MOM

Hi there AJs Mom!

My babies were both C-sections, my son weighed 6 pounds 10 ounces and was a quiet baby (my daughter was 6 pounds 9 ounces, but was NOT quiet!!).

He turned out just fine, is about to become a dad himself. It sounds to me like great-grandma might be just a little too much in the worry mode.

Please pass along my congrats to her on her first great grandbaby!

E.

Hey you!

That's what I'm thinking. He's probably just a chill dude.

I have zero reference here as AJ was a natural birth - all 9 lbs. 6 oz. and 21 3/4" of him.

Hell, I'm still hurting!

AJM...ouch

I had a 9lb 8oz boy...but he was C-section

Also had an 8lb 9 oz boy...also C-section

And a 5lb 13 ox girl....also C-Section

The middle guy was noisy. Other two, not so much.

all 9 lbs. 6 oz.

eeek!

I only needed my C-sections because I did not practice my breathing, according to my hospital roommate.

Maybe you should go and get that baby, bring him over here, and we can practice grandmothering??

E.

[This message edited by Edith at 9:28 AM, July 19th (Friday)]

Disclaimer: All 3 of my boys were vaginal births.

DS1 was about 2 months preemie so stayed in the nicu for a month before coming home. He was loud.

DS2 was only 2 weeks early. He was VERY LOUD.

DS3 was about a month early. He was totally chill. Did not eat all that much, and his suck was not especially strong compared to the other 2 (I bf-ed all 3). In fact, he was so quiet that the only way I knew when he was cutting teeth was seeing white spots in his mouth - no extra crying, no biting, no drooling, nothing. Completely the opposite of DS2!!!!

They are all mid-late teens now, all over 6 feet tall (even DS3, who is only 15), all fairly muscular and healthy weight.

My sister had a c-section at term after problems in labor. She had a loud and fussy daughter.

The post-natal assessment of the baby likely included some indicators of its gestational age. If they were very far off from the due date or if there were any noticeable problem with the baby, it would have been kept for extra care in the nicu/nursery.

So I am guessing that this baby is just on the quiet end of the spectrum. When they are this little they go to checkups fairly frequently, the doctor should be able to tell if there is something wrong (failure to thrive, etc). But in general, the baby should know how much it needs to eat. If she formula feeds the baby on demand (rather than specific amounts at pre-specified times) then the baby should be eating all that it needs. I would be very surprised if this were a c-section specific 'issue'.

AJ was a natural birth - all 9 lbs. 6 oz. and 21 3/4" of him.

Ouch, ouch, ouch

Birdie Sue: 9 lbs, 12 oz, born three weeks early (found out after birth) via C-section after birth complications (she literally got stuck)

Hedgehog: 8 lbs, 0 ozs, born 1 week early via C-section (the first one made VBAC impossible)

Tapper: Again, 8 lbs, 0 ozs, born right on time via C-section

Hedgehog was quiet, very quiet to the point that they did the newborn hearing test twice on her just to make sure nothing else was wrong. She was laid-back, the most relaxed little thing. I couldn't have asked for an easier infant.

The other two were loud. as. hell. And then at about 1 year, Tapper got very quiet and barely made a peep until he was nearly 2, when he blurted out a full sentence.

A C-section has nothing to do with the noise level of the baby, and early births are NOT a big deal.

Your housemate is going to worry no matter what, if not this then about something else. Let her. Seriously. She's just looking for the drama of it. Ignore.

My two were both Vag deliveries. My boy came almost 4 weeks early as he ran out of room and broke my water, he weighed in at a whopping 6.7, but was 22" long. He is still long and lean at 16. 6'2" and about 165. He was a quiet baby initally. When he hit his due date all hell broke loose though.

My daughter came out about 2 weeks early (our family has our babies early) she was 7.6 and she was quiet for about 20 seconds, just long enough for her get the fluid sucked out. She hasn't shut up since. She wasn't necissarily fussy, but very vocal.

some kids are just chill, and kind of look around with a quiet knowledge, while others are so freaked out by the sudden change nothing suits them.

I'm sure this baby is fine. Someone in the family, needs to talk your friend down. Say this is their baby, and it is fine, and you need to keep all your negative Nancy bs to a minimum or you won't be welcome. A new mom doesn't need some old hag (and that's how she will see her) telling her something is wrong with the baby, and she isn't doing things correctly. Lets face it we raise our babies a bazillion times different than the previous generations. Each on of us believing we are doing the best thing. Who knows in 20 years they will be born, and we will put them into some pappoose thing, because that's what's good for them. My point is they all manage to survive it, and this one will too.

6# 9oz is a good weight for a first baby, so the baby isn't small for gestational age or anything like that. I think he's probably just laid back and doesn't mind much.

For me (all three C-Sections):

DS12 was a week early and weighed 8# 14oz; he was pretty chill, rarely cried, and ate like a hoss. He was also born with Sleep Apnea and was on a monitor for a year.

DS 9 was about a month early and weighed 6# 13 oz; also pretty chill, rarely cried, and ate fairly well.

DD7 was two weeks early and weighed 7# 2oz; she cried ALL.THE.TIME

Each kid is different. I am sure the little guy is just fine

ETA: 1oz of formula every three hours is pretty normal for a newborn.

[This message edited by Mama_of_3_Kids at 10:29 AM, July 19th (Friday)]

DS was born via C-section, on time... cord wrapped around neck and pinched in birth canal made C-Section necessary.

17 hours of hard labor before hand

He was 6' 10" and 19" long.

Noisy and crying on night one... after that barely a peep. He was a good quiet baby most of the time.

I think you're friend is looking for any excuse to blame the mother... which is really just very sad.

Thanks, y'all.

I kind of figured this was all fairly normal stuff. Yeah, Thren nailed the drama llama stuff. BIG TIME. It's been helacious living with her what, between the George Zimmerman trial and the Ryan Braun fiasco and all.

AJ was a veracious eater. Besides my nethers, my nips still hurt! As I recall (been 30 years folks), he too was a quiet kid. Boob fuel him, get a decent burp outta him and he was happy as a stuffed pig. I'm sure that'll be the next drama - that his mom is bottle feeding him.

DS (my one and only) was born naturally after 24+ hours of hard labor--he was 'sunnyside up', thereby pounding his hard little head against my pelvis. He had to be pushed out at the last minute by what I think was called 'fontal pressure' (?) which literally was the nurse jumping on top of my belly. It took the doctor a half hour to stitch me afterward...

The upshot of this gore is that despite all that drama, he did not cry. He just stared at us like he was pissed off.

He was a lusty eater, but he only drank an ounce of formula at a time because he would fall asleep. We undressed him, held him upside down, tickled him--all at the nurses' suggestion--to no avail. The kid just liked to sleep. Needless to say, he was hungry all the time. I started feeding him rice cereal at 3 weeks just so he would sleep for a little while longer.

He was the most cheerful, well-adjusted baby you could ever want to meet. Your friend needs to chill out.

Dd was born 10 days early by c-section at 3lbs 7oz (full term). She was moved to a separate section of the NICU with her own nurse because she screamed so much she would wake the other babies...

Despite the speech delay she has never been quiet and now that she's actually talking she wont give our ears a break...

She's the pickiest eater on the planet too.

Ds was born by c-section a week late at 4lbs 11oz. He has always been quieter than his sister and he eats like a pig...

Could having a nurse talk to her help calm her down? Everybaby is different, some cry alot and some don't. He probably isn't eating much because he doesn't need that much yet. He sounds like a normal healthy baby.

I think she'll be going to see him/them in a week or so (she's 300 miles away).

She told me last night she's afraid her daughter and grandson are keeping something from her so she won't worry. So she's worrying about that. It's a vicious cycle.

Thanks for all the confirmation and tips. I'll try and chat with her again tonight and hopefully she'll at least see some reason.

Hi AJ :)

My DS was an emergency c-section. he was a quiet baby. tall and skinny and not a good eater from day one. some kids are the way they are from day one.

the good news is that baby gets to be at the hospital a couple more days b/c of the c-section. they'll be able to keep an eye on his food intake.

they seldom get the due dates very wrong anymore with all the technology out there.

my DS was 21.5" and only 6lb 12oz when he was born. nothing extra on that kid. he was definitely full term just got himself all tangled up on the way out.

quiet can just be a personality.

AJ's -

Sounds like your friend just loves to pet the drama llama - and also is a big pot stirrer too...

also is a big pot stirrer too

Oh, yeah.

I've been privy (not by choice) to hear conversations of her with one of her two kids where she is clearly bashing the other (or their families) and vice versa.

She's also very unkind to those not from "the" family - i.e., she'll continuously cut down her DIL and her "ways" (she's a health nut, so what) as being weird or strange.

Wow, were my kids the only ones who screamed like banshees?

Seriously, the nurses are on top of stuff at a hospital, so if something is wrong, they will hopefully be able to tell.

I understand your friend, because I watch way too much reality er TV with medical problems, so I'd probably jump to conclusions too

If she's 300 mi away how does she know how much the baby cries