SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Found the love of my life, a few years after former wandering wife did her thing.

I feel in love with this woman despite my feeling completely dead inside. She brought me back to life. I owe her my life, literally. She's my everything. Always will be.

She has betrayed me in a way I never thought imaginable. I'm beyond dead inside. I'm short on details but dday was 2 nights ago sat march 31 through sunday morning easter. Confrontation went badly, she denied it all, and called me crazy.

There is a kind of peace in accepting ones path. Like a calming serenity. Ir feels.... Solid.... Like a way to get control in a world where you have none at all.

I have no one to talk to about this. She is the one I need the closure.and.healing from. But she cant or wont provide it. I dont want to leave it like this. I want peace in mind before I depart. I want honesty, plain brutal honesty. At least they ill know its real.

Hey Empty

Of course, you will survive.

Just like you did last time.

Breathe, exercise, eat.

This is a marathon. You have run it before, you never intended to run it again but if you must then you know you can do it.

What proof? What is it she denied?

Hey, man, you can survive this. Everyone on this board has.

What’s the situation?

kind of confused.

Is this that two different women betrayed you or is it one in the same ?

((((Emptyshelldad))))

I'm so sorry, you don't deserve this.

Closure doesn't really exist, and the only one who can heal you is YOU.

Start to 180 her, and take good care of yourself. Right now it hurts like hell, but it won't always feel this way.

Sending you positive, healing thoughts.

((((Emptyshelldad))))

Hi Emptyshelldad

Just don't do anything stupid. Please read my JFO thread. It is about 12 or 13 pages in in JFO now.

Then read all of SuperDaddy's, especially his most recent in S/D.

There is a happiness greater than you have ever believed possible.

At one point my life was so dark I could just not believe that there was any other way out than to end it all. It was not true. Sol thankful that some idiot doctor who I hated for a few weeks, but now am indebted to for life (literally) got in the way of my plan.

You have worth. There is happiness in your future. Just give it some time.

You need to make the calls that will help you through this temporary dark spot.

I will be back to check in on you

You are putting your eggs in a broken basket.

You should be outraged and angry that she has cheated and lied.

Move on and away from a toxic person in your life. She won’t be honest with you. By default you now owe her nothing.

It is sad that such a treasured person in your past has done this. She is not the person you once knew - at least not now.

Hi, I am so sorry you are going through infidelity a second time. You WILL survive it just like you did the first time.

You know the drill.

Meet with an attorney.

Expose to those who will support you.

Do the 180.

Make an appt. with an IC asap.

If you have concrete proof, then that's really all you need. You understand fully that cheaters lie and deny...pretty much all of them, if not all.

Sending positive thoughts and prayers your way....

I’m a lurker on these boards trying to find my way and digest this huge shit sandwich I’ve been served and trying to self heal

From an emotional standpoint, I am literally standing in your shoes right now .

Same

Exact

Emotions

I get it

I understand

DON’T DO IT

Keep Moving Forward and the healing should come

Ah Emptyshelldad, I am so sorry. I'm so sorry that you had the reason to come back here. Please be gentle with yourself. You will survive this, you know. And we're all here to help you.

One day at a time (((Emptyshelldad))). Your children need you. Take each day for them.

Emptyshelldad, whatever you do, stay calm.

If you're feeling suicidal, please call

1 800-273-8255. That's the suicide hotline.

Post as often as you need to, but find help!

You're going be okay, Emptyshelldad.

We're here for you. When you're ready, share more of your story.

You're not alone.

You're trying to draw blood from a stone. Forcing or trying to force a confession will just be long and drawn out, you know what you know and you know it's true, that's enough, anything else is opening yourself up to manipulation and blameshifting which would quite frankly be infuriating.

You have two daughters, you have your health and you have the truth. Those maybe small comforts but as a man you take those things and build something unbreakable.

Why you'd let one human being have such control over your life? If she's not worthy of your love then give it to someone who is. Quite frankly if she thinks cheating is the way to a solid love life she's in for a shock.

We have all been down this path. Like you none of us wanted to go down this path. But you will come out the other side and survive! You will one day smile again! You will also come out a better and happier version of yourself!

Be gentle with yourself. Drink water, try to sleep, try to focus on work and your kids (they still need their Daddy....now more than ever). Post often. We are here for you.

[This message edited by SuperDaddy1027 at 1:32 PM, April 3rd (Tuesday)]

I’m so sorry you’re facing this trauma for a second time. But you can survive it and you must. Your children need you. You have value in this world.

Like ohfor said, this isn’t the end and happiness can return to your life. Your future is not as bleak as you believe at this moment. One breath at a time.

Please go see your doctor and be honest about how you’re feeling. It’s okay to ask for help to get through the trauma.

Sending warm hugs. You don’t deserve what’s been done to you.

She brought me back to life. I owe her my life, literally. She's my everything. Always will be.

We truly understand how you feel right now.

We do - and we can help.

Keep posting everything you feel about it and post as often as you like.

Make some phone calls to talk to a counselor who can help get you through these dark thoughts you are alluding to.

If you can’t afford one then there are some resources that are free that can help you out.

Ultimately, you need to realize that what you wrote above is not really true.

Your happiness, your satisfaction, your values, and everything you are is completely your own to determine.

Leaving your happiness and your destiny in someone else’s hands is what is leading you to feel these dark thoughts.

When you have taken control of YOUR life and are happy and content on your own then you will never have to feel the way you do now ever again - even if someone were to betray you again.

Your happiness is your own and never for anyone else to determine.

Start with small steps and build up.

It takes courage and that courage is there even though you are in this state of fear and despair.

You are stronger and more independent than you think.

You had the courage to come here and seek help - that was a great first step.

Now, build on that with other small steps and keep going.

You will get to a place that is well outside of the situation you are in now and be able to see that what this person did is not about you or because of you.

[This message edited by keptmyword at 4:34 PM, April 3rd (Tuesday)]

You will survive this. Don't give her all that control. Take yours back. Work on healing and moving forward. Life works solo. You can do this. Your signature says you have children, you are needed by them, that is your responsibility and where your focus should be. Not a cheating partner who is about to start mind games. be kind to you, you know there is more good things in life in store for you~

Hey there, emptyshelldad.

How are you doing today? Please check in and keep talking to us. Come here and vent and let us be there for you.

You are important. Your life matters. You can be happy again, no matter how bleak things are today.

PS: While my own family was dealing with the aftermath of DDay, my daughter’s friend’s father (also a new BS) took his own life. I’ve talked to her friend numerous times over the last 5 years and seen the devastation of the BS’s children. It was SO tough for them. Your daughters need you in their lives. Always remember that.