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Beckiboo72 (original poster new member #66124) posted at 1:13 AM on Sunday, September 9th, 2018
Im aware that my sons girlfriend is cheating on him every other day for about 4 months.
Im afraid to tell him because I have no proof such as messages pics etc.
My son is 18 and is very shy and not agressive.
Hes to trusting and without proof he will get upset and irriteted.
He has a tendency to not listen when I 9r anybody tell him things in general.
Im devastated and cannot have this go8ng on.
Im trying to look the other way but every day it gets more difficult.
Any parents out there can relate ???
Seenoevilhearnoevilspeaknoevil
yuvas ( member #59339) posted at 1:14 AM on Sunday, September 9th, 2018
What proof do you have?
I’ve seen others post similar situations and hope they come along soon
Beckiboo72 (original poster new member #66124) posted at 1:18 AM on Sunday, September 9th, 2018
#yuvas none thats why Im not saying shit??
Should I ignore it or what??
Im contemplating on that
Seenoevilhearnoevilspeaknoevil
pureheartkit ( member #62345) posted at 1:21 AM on Sunday, September 9th, 2018
How do you know? Proof would be best. Is there a trusted friend who could help?
Thank you everyone for your wisdom and healing.
Dorothy123 ( member #53116) posted at 1:26 AM on Sunday, September 9th, 2018
How about hire a private investigator?
"I’ll get you my pretty, and your little dog too!" Wicked Witch of the West.
Beckiboo72 (original poster new member #66124) posted at 1:29 AM on Sunday, September 9th, 2018
Dorothy123 ow wow. Never thought of that.
Seenoevilhearnoevilspeaknoevil
Dorothy123 ( member #53116) posted at 1:30 AM on Sunday, September 9th, 2018
"I’ll get you my pretty, and your little dog too!" Wicked Witch of the West.
Beckiboo72 (original poster new member #66124) posted at 1:49 AM on Sunday, September 9th, 2018
The other guy is his bff....thats the bad part
Seenoevilhearnoevilspeaknoevil
Dorothy123 ( member #53116) posted at 1:59 AM on Sunday, September 9th, 2018
Beck the private investigator doesn't care.
"I’ll get you my pretty, and your little dog too!" Wicked Witch of the West.
Beckiboo72 (original poster new member #66124) posted at 4:00 AM on Sunday, September 9th, 2018
Wow. TBH I didnt get as much help as I thought I would. This site is poor.
Seenoevilhearnoevilspeaknoevil
The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 6:04 AM on Sunday, September 9th, 2018
Yes I can relate. But even with proof there is no guarantee he will listen. Or do anything about it.
Yes I need to tell him if your concerns. Tell him you will support him no matter what.
My son went thru an abusive R. It was awful. I told him I supported him no matter what. Hard to watch. If he refused to admit she ever cheated.
Denial works for so many people.
Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 12 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.
allusions ( member #25376) posted at 6:09 AM on Sunday, September 9th, 2018
You say you are aware of her cheating. How do you know this? Did she tell you? Did you overhear a conversation?
You can apologize over and over, but if your actions don't change, your words become meaningless.
Behind every crazy bitch is a sweet girl who just got tired of being lied to.
I've found the key to happiness: Stay away from assholes.
yuvas ( member #59339) posted at 1:03 PM on Sunday, September 9th, 2018
I’m sorry you feel unsupported here, perhaps if you were able to give more detail we could be of help.
Beckiboo72 (original poster new member #66124) posted at 1:11 PM on Sunday, September 9th, 2018
This is what I found out 5 months ago from my daughter:
My daughter whos 19 found out from her friends at school about them hooking up every other day when my son would be home ( like today ) From what my daughter got from the others is the theyve been liking each other for a while and she got attracted to him when he started playing sports and exercising. She said that they she wants to be with his friend but he dosent want to be a boyfriend. She's addicted to him because the sex is better...wow
I know that my sons personally not the confrontational type or the one to initiate a fight so I'm wondering what would happen if he found out??
Im trying to look the other way and let teens handle their own business but im finding myself to be feeling guilty for not telling him.
My daughter said that she sont think anything big would happen if he found out.
Should I try to get her to tell him whats going on instead ???
Seenoevilhearnoevilspeaknoevil
northeasternarea ( member #43214) posted at 2:20 PM on Sunday, September 9th, 2018
So in other words, you only have secondhand information, otherwise known as gossip. Has your daughter verified the information that she was given? If she feels/thinks the information is correct, she should tell her brother.
The only person you can change is yourself.
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 2:24 PM on Sunday, September 9th, 2018
First, I understand wanting to get your son out of this sitch, but you can't. He has to do it himself.
@nd, he's unlikely to take in your concern at his age.
3rd, your daughter has the most knowledge about this. I think your best bet is to ask her to tell her brother. The info much more likely to be taken in if it comes from her - at least that my bet.
BTW, the vast majority of us are dealing with betraying and being betrayed. Some, unfortunately, suffered from a parent's infidelity when they were children. We don't have a lot of experience with loved ones' recovering from infidelity, though unfortunately a few if us have had to deal with it. Lack of experience means lack of response.
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
d-day - 12/22/2010 Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
Beckiboo72 (original poster new member #66124) posted at 2:27 PM on Sunday, September 9th, 2018
She said its not her business
Seenoevilhearnoevilspeaknoevil
northeasternarea ( member #43214) posted at 6:36 PM on Sunday, September 9th, 2018
She said its not her business
Then she should not have shared what she heard with you. Most sisters are protective of their brothers, so I am surprised at her attitude.
The only person you can change is yourself.
Beckiboo72 (original poster new member #66124) posted at 6:51 PM on Sunday, September 9th, 2018
Teens are usually self centered
Seenoevilhearnoevilspeaknoevil
Momo24 ( member #63798) posted at 7:19 PM on Sunday, September 9th, 2018
So how is your relationship with your son? Before my shit show started, I would just hover in the background to support my child and mark it up to life experience. Now it would be hard.
Can you touch base with him in general queries on his life--not pointing any areas of infidelity but how things are going. There is two reasons behind that. 1st he might already have suspicions, and 2nd when all this goes south you have already opened the door for support.
Personal question--have you experienced infidelity.
Actions speak louder than words. But both hurt.
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