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This is a bit embarrassing to write but I frequently think about ways that I could get ‘revenge’ on the AP.

I know it’s extremely childish and if they were ever to be acted on it’s not likely to make things better (rather the opposite), but just the thought that one day I can get her back somehow is comforting so I let myself go with these thoughts even though I know that I will not act on them.

My top one is using a honeytrap to seduce her future husband (she’s in her early 20s and unmarried) and then sending her photographic evidence of the infidelity. The other one I like to think about is sending her parents a letter to let them in on what she’s done to our family, her loose morals etc. I’ve got the letter written out but I won’t send it.

I feel like I’m taking some power back by having these ideas in my head.

Does anyone else do this too?? What are your revenge thoughts or dreams?

Revenge thoughts get you nowhere unfortunately .

Best revenge is to get on with your life and don’t let them enter your head anymore .

Sorry , no graphic descriptions here ....

I was never angry with my wife’s AP by the way.

He only took what was freely offered to him.

Plus he lied about his own marriage and daughter - this guy is so far below me.

Give yourself time. The desire for revenge will fade, I promise. As long as it remains fantasy in your head, don’t worry about it. You’re so early in this, be gentle with yourself.

In practice, so many of this fantasies do not pan out as we expected anyway. Always best to let the AP hang him/herself with their own rope.

sending her parents a letter to let them in on what she’s done to our family, her loose morals etc. I’ve got the letter written out but I won’t send it.

I actually did this and don't regret it.

You have such kind revenge fantasies!

My favorite revenge fantasy is going to one of his high school reunions (he and the first OW graduated together) prepped with a slide show of their Facebook conversations, and calling them out in front of everybody. She’s on Classmates and I have considered posting to her wall. I was also able to find two of her sisters on Facebook and considered messaging them, but apparently one of them also cheated and so did her mother, so I guess it runs in the family.

I really only have revenge fantasies of the first OW, the one that had her claws dug in while I was pregnant and for two years after birth. I hate her the most.

And yeah, I know my WH is the one who made promises to me and all that, but she was also a manipulative bitch who made sure the fantasy kept going until she was done with it. So I feel ok hating her.

You have such kind revenge fantasies!

Seriously!

I had fantasies of shooting the MOW. I considered printing flyers of her photo and what she'd done and putting them up all over town, and taking her to court for alienation of affection. That's a thing in the state I was living at the time.

I think I would find a way to anonymously send that letter to her parents.

Absolutely! I think about how I could screen shot their chats and hack into her Facebook to post them. If only I had that kind of skill! I would tag every single one of her "friends" so they can see what kind of person she is! Then again, she now has three children from three different fathers so I guess everyone already knows what kind of woman she is!

sewardak

Out of curiosity what happened? Did you send it anonymously or did they respond?

I have many revenge fantasies and don't think I'll be happy until I get my revenge.

One fantasy was to convince my WH that the idea of him with another woman was actually a turn on. That I wanted to have a threesome and have him set it up at a hotel. I definitely think I could have convinced him to do this since boundaries are non existent to him. Then have a knock at the door before anything actually happened and lo and behold......the OBS. I happily skip out the door as he decides who to go after first, my WH or his cheating bitch wife.

I'm not that angry with the OW. I sometimes feel like she's a victim too as my STBXH lied his way into her pants. BUT. This OW is so taunting. She is so proud to have gotten my H that sometimes it angers me.

I do not desire revenge. I desire justice. These people seem to think they can get away with everything unscathed. I'm not sure what to do though, part me just wants to let it go.

Then again, she now has three children from three different fathers so I guess everyone already knows what kind of woman she is!

Oh em.. same! I don't think she told all her friends yet that her latest is with a married man.

[This message edited by hopefullife at 7:34 AM, October 28th (Monday)]

My revenge fantasy is to bed the AP's wife. In his house, in his bed. He knows my wife intimately. It only seems fair I do the same. Supposedly AP couldn't make my WW orgasm(probably a lie, I know). The idea of giving OBS an O, would be the cherry on top.

I know it's wrong and will never happen for multiple reasons. Besides he probably wouldn't care anyways. Obviously he doesn't think much of his wife. Otherwise he wouldn't be a serial cheater.

Yay MalibuBayBreeze!

Then have a knock at the door before anything actually happened and lo and behold......the OBS. I happily skip out the door as he decides who to go after first, my WH or his cheating bitch wife.

This is such a fun thought! If only she was married too I would use this in my arsenal of day dreaming revenge...

I actually did this and don't regret it.

Sewardak what happened after you sent the letter, if anything that you know of?

Did you ever tell your WS that you sent it?

Atg100 You’re right that’s definitely the high road. Hoping I’ll get there too in time...

I had those thoughts for a while. I considered reaching out to the OBS and trying to hook up with her, but as Neanderthal pointed out the AP must not have cared about his wife to begin with. Then I spent some time trying to figure out my end game. If I really just wanted to hurt him I'd have to find out what was important to him. The only logical conclusion was to sleep with his oldest daughter (She's in her early 20's now). I fantasized about starting a relationship with her and getting invited to meet her parents. That would be a great way to out him to his kids when he had to explain why she can't "date" me. The only problem is that I really don't want to cause pain to the someone that's innocent or the OBS, they didn't ask for this. So I guess I'll just sit here and do nothing.

PS He's a high school football coach and his team is 0-9 so far this year. I'm loving this year's season in every petty way possible.

Your revenge fantasies are very tame. I had fantasies of smashing ap’s face into a brick wall repeatedly. Also driving her into that brick wall also.

My therapist said it’s normal and not to worry about it unless I thought I would act on them.

I had a fantasy of catching WH and OW#2 in the act, and tasing them to freeze them into the positions they were in. Then I would photograph them, then have the photos put in the local newspaper warning people to run from these two.

I didn’t get to, but I did actually make WH go shopping for a taser once

[This message edited by 20yrsagoBS at 12:53 PM, October 29th (Tuesday)]

I definitely had some fantasies for the APs who were well aware of him being a married man and even knew me. I have had several different fantasies of revenge.

A few highlights:

1. Spraying "homewrecker" in weed killer on her front yard (I think that idea came from someone on here)

2. Being able to somehow put a curse on her that would cause her to have explosive, uncontrollable diarrhea anytime she so much as flirted with another man.

3. Breaking their noses.

4. Sending messages to all her Facebook friends informing them that she is in fact an immoral slut.

The only one I ever somewhat acted on is outing them as an AP. One of them was the mother of one of my son's friends. We were all at a baseball game sitting in the same area of the stands and she was upset with her son because he borrowed my son his expensive baseball bat. She was going on and on and finally I snapped and said "I don't think its that big of a deal that he let him borrow his bat. After all, you borrowed my husband's bat more than once without asking ME if I was OK with it". It shut her up in a hurry.

I sent the letter to the AP’s mother too. I actually then met her mother and she said “oh you’re the lady who wrote me that letter.” Very nonchalant and friendly. I did a few other things too but I’m going to leave those alone for anonymity sake.

[This message edited by Marie2792 at 11:32 AM, October 28th (Monday)]

Love hearing I’m not alone in fantasising about revenge!