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Long story short I reached out to the OM and he blocked me w/o a reply. Pisses me off, apparently him leaving me swinging in the breeze, forever wondering, was more cruel than the truth.

I have the urge to message his long term gf (they weren't together during the A) because if I had to guess, he didn't inform his gf he was once involved in a marital affair as the OM. I'm sure that he failed to mention that he knew my wife was married and didn't care. That he didn't care about destroying a family unit. I mean I would want to know that if I was dating someone, no? Seems like important info to know

I typed it, I don't know yet that I'm going to send it. Boy do I want to.

I know, it's petty. I know, it will only make me feel better for 10 min.

[This message edited by elKAPPYtan at 6:20 PM, November 20th (Wednesday)]

I'm not the best person to reply to this, because I completely understand the want to send a note to his GF. I don't see it as petty, I think some upheaval in his world is well deserved.

That said, it does kind of let the AP know he's still in your head. Your anger validates him and the damage he caused.

And he may actually be in your head for a while, but a better way to go may be not to let him know that. That you're moving on, and nothing he ever did matters to you.

Put his picture on a punching bag, that way you won't miss.

I too have wrath of God level for my exWW's AP. Recently when I start feeling the rage or sadness building I start working out. It has been helping.

The silence can be deafening, all these things we want to say to the douchebag that are left unsaid.

Well, I would send it. I don’t claim to be a nice guy. What consideration do you owe that guy? Nothing!

Does he have a job where integrity is important? A security clearance? Bonded? They would want to know.

He broke the bro-code, and with a crime there should be consequences. Just know the old fact that throwing a punch means leaving an opening.

Think justice, not vengeance.

What consideration do you owe that guy? Nothing!

I owe him the same consideration he gave me, which is to drop a live grenade in his relationship. Or I could just let him walk away with no consequence

Does he have a job where integrity is important? A security clearance? Bonded? They would want to know.

nah, he moved to another state and works at General Motors. they don't give a shit

I meant to put this in general

I’m a WS and I wouldn’t judge you at all for outing the OM. If you became obsessed with him and contacted all his associates into perpetuity sure, dial it back, but I don’t think telling this first person is a problem. I do think you may want to keep in mind what sort of person he is, would this chasten him and make him feel something or would it give him sick pleasure to know you are still thrown by him. There are both kinds out there and only you can know what type he is.

I get it. I wanted to plaster flyers with the MOW's photo all over town saying she was a cheating, lying, lowlife scum. I didn't, but I wanted to.

He broke the bro-code, and with a crime there should be consequences. Just know the old fact that throwing a punch means leaving an opening.

Think justice, not vengeance.

my bold added

I like this! He broke the bro code. He deserves consequences. But, yeah, realize that doing this will open a door to you.

I confronted my WW's AP in front of his wife, it felt really good, seeing him crapping himself felt even better.

Whoever he is dating deserves to know what he is capable of.

If you became obsessed with him and contacted all his associates into perpetuity sure, dial it back, but I don’t think telling this first person is a problem.

And I'm miles from that. I don't think about him. I don't have any anger towards him tbh. What I think about is not knowing if I know the truth. that's the only time I think about him, and not him, the fact that he could have replied to me THEN blocked me, but chose the leave me wondering. That is where all of this is coming from.

Whoever he is dating deserves to know what he is capable of.

I agree. Wouldn't you wanna know if you were dating someone that they were involved in a marital affair? That they knew WS was married and had kids, and they thought nothing about their part in destroying a marriage and shattering a family?

I know I would.

[This message edited by elKAPPYtan at 11:16 AM, November 21st (Thursday)]

If the truth is your concern, why not poly your wife?

It will make you look less crazy and makes her answer you, not him. If you hear from him, you might perceive it as him bragging and then it would hurt more.

He might have been as fooled as your wife and he wants out of her crazy.

Just something to consider.

elKAPPYtan,

I understand your feelings but really what could you do, without facing major prison time, that would come close to evening the preverbal score?

You could find him and sleep with his girlfriend but they are not married.

You could post everything on the his page or accounts but that would just harm your WW.

His consequences are the fact, that if he does get married, he knows there are men who may do the exact same thing to him.

I understand your need for vengeance.

Been there and done that.

EKT,

Expose him to his parents, grandparents, siblings, facebook, church etc, do it all at once and without warnings or threats especially do not let WW know.

You say he worked for GM I presume you mean as a unionized assembly worker and not management?

For the WW polygraph, STD test, DNA the kids expose to her parents.

I totally can relate. I want vengeance in the worst way, too. The only reason I haven't done something really stupid to land myself in jail is because to beat her stupid, ugly ass would require me driving 14 hours to that shithole we used to call home. I do know for a fact if I had still lived there when I found out that my H is a cheating bastard, I would be in jail today. Thankfully we had moved by then...my kids don't deserve to have their only parent with a working brain to be in jail, leaving them stuck with their cheating, lying, selfish asshole of a dad to count on.

My IC says it's ok to fantasize about revenge...but man, I can get really creative with my fantasies when it comes to destroying that bitch!

First, I'd sleep with her new boyfriend(he's a puke and they are made for each other so it sure wouldn't be enjoyable for me, which is so unfortunate!). Actually, he's a serial cheater too so it's only a matter of time before he gives her a taste of her own medicine.

I'd post flyers all over that toxic town with her picture and a description of what kind of person she really is. Little Miss church-goer has her kids in a private Christian school too, so I'd make sure every employee who works there knows that their #1 volunteer is actually a whore.

Then, I'd show up to her work(she's a classy broad who sells vapes and drug paraphernalia) and scope the place out for a while. Then I'd walk into the store when she's alone, lock the door behind me, disable her security camera, make her hand over her cell phone, and say -bitch, we need to talk. NOW.

Of course, in this fantasy she tells me everything while begging for forgiveness(haha, dream on) and then I proceed to give her the beating I said I'd give her one day. The extent of that beating varies from fantasy to fantasy...depends on the day.

Then I'd meet with her ex husband and give him a piece of my mind for not telling me his wife was screwing my husband for 2 years. But hell, I'd sleep with him too just for shits and giggles and then tell my husband all about it. He doesn't get off easy in my fantasies either(pun unintended)

This bitch not only had an A with my cheating husband, but she threatened my children too. Oh she's a piece of work. You want to see me completely go psycho? Mess with my kids I hope the karma bus runs her over, backs up, and runs her over again...but she lives so she can get what's still coming to her!!!!

So yes, the distance and the fact that I love my children more than my desire to get revenge, makes her one lucky dumb bitch.

If the truth is your concern, why not poly your wife?

It will make you look less crazy and makes her answer you, not him. If you hear from him, you might perceive it as him bragging and then it would hurt more.

He might have been as fooled as your wife and he wants out of her crazy.

Just something to consider.

More than considered it, got pricing and it's a few hundred dollars. For sure going to do it, going to wait until after xmas tho, little ones come first. She was also fine with taking it. The truth, no matter how I get it, is the Number 1 condition for reconciliation (since they already had NC when I found out).