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Off Topic :
Anxiety, weddings, long distance driving and dreams

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 Lionne (original poster member #25560) posted at 3:53 AM on Thursday, April 8th, 2021

My anxiety is through the roof even though there is no REAL reason for it. We are driving 1200 miles to our son's wedding, transporting supplies for it, along with my expensive dress. But I have it all organized and am not the type to expect everything to go perfectly.

Two night ago my intense dream was that I was charged with cleaning out an old house that had accumulated tons of junk. I was "helped" but a couple of adolescent boys, with good intentions but with all the trouble preteen kids bring. By the end of the dream I had made decent progress.

But the constant, unending DECISIONS I had to make were exhausting. Much like my real life.

Last night's dream was just bizarre. A group of orangutans were handed to me to foster. They consisted of an adult, a baby, a toddler and a young boy. Along with a tablet computer which was, oddly, also an orangutan. I let them all our back to wander the woods, and my dad, dead since 1987, showed up at my back door holding the adult, muddy and dirty, so now we have to round them up and put them into the shower, one by one.

I get the interpretation of the first dream but the second one was just weird.

Hope I can sleep tonight!

Me-BS-71 in May HIM-SAFWH-74 I just wanted a normal life.Normal trauma would have been appreciated.

posts: 8533   ·   registered: Sep. 18th, 2009   ·   location: In my head
id 8648773
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tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 10:55 PM on Thursday, April 8th, 2021

I got nothing.

Stop taking melatonin if you are taking it. I dont ever remember my dreams. Haven't for many many years.

Decided I'd try melatonin. It screwed me up badly. Vivid dreams that kept waking me up.

No thanks.

Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 20380   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   ·   location: St. Louis
id 8648931
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 Lionne (original poster member #25560) posted at 1:31 AM on Friday, April 9th, 2021

Yeah, no melatonin. Although sleep issues are a big part of my life, I've actually been better for the past 6 months or so.

At least I'm processing some of this stress, even if only while I'm asleep. I'm going to take your advice from another thread and JOURNAL!

Me-BS-71 in May HIM-SAFWH-74 I just wanted a normal life.Normal trauma would have been appreciated.

posts: 8533   ·   registered: Sep. 18th, 2009   ·   location: In my head
id 8648962
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EvenKeel ( member #24210) posted at 1:53 PM on Friday, April 9th, 2021

My anxiety is through the roof even though there is no REAL reason for it.

I disagree. Even though you have it all under control - just the words wedding and traveling bring nature stress.

I actually think dream #2 is indicative of that. Meaning you know things can (and probably will) happen that are beyond your control so all you can do is clean up whatever mess (or muddy orangutan) is handed to you.

I think your dad surfaced because of all the emotions a wedding brings. I think your dad is showing he is still here for you (even sight unseen).

Hope the wedding turns out great!

[This message edited by EvenKeel at 7:54 AM, April 9th (Friday)]

posts: 6985   ·   registered: May. 31st, 2009   ·   location: Pennsylvania
id 8649090
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Chaos ( member #61031) posted at 2:50 PM on Friday, April 9th, 2021

Agree with others - I tried melatonin and it made my dreams very vivid nightmares. I'd rather be tired than deal with that again.

BS-me/WH-4.5yrLTA Married 2+ decades-2 adult children. Multiple DDays w/same LAP until I told OBS 2018- Cease & Desist sent spring 2021 "Hello–My name is Chaos–You f***ed my husband-Prepare to Die!"

posts: 4028   ·   registered: Oct. 13th, 2017   ·   location: East coast
id 8649151
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 Lionne (original poster member #25560) posted at 2:53 PM on Friday, April 9th, 2021

Wow, EvenKeel. That totally makes sense.

I will enjoy the wedding, and at least partially, the road trip. But I have to admit, I want it all to be over!

Me-BS-71 in May HIM-SAFWH-74 I just wanted a normal life.Normal trauma would have been appreciated.

posts: 8533   ·   registered: Sep. 18th, 2009   ·   location: In my head
id 8649155
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number4 ( member #62204) posted at 5:29 PM on Friday, April 9th, 2021

There is SOOO much out of your control when it comes to weddings that it would make sense that you have anxiety. And yes, just having a wedding and traveling, particularly in COVID times, are additionally stressful. I suspect you really haven't traveled since COVID started, so it's an unknown entity for you, even when you've been vaccinated. You've been stuck in your home for the last year, and now you're going against your instincts and driving 1200 miles.

One of the ways I deal with that kind of stress is to make lists, particularly packing lists. Then throughout my day or week, when something pops in my head, I can add it to the list, and let go of that worry.

We will survive this (although I will be flying to my D's wedding, not driving)!

Me: BWHim: WHMarried - 30+ yearsTwo adult daughters1st affair: 2005-20072nd-4th affairs: 2016-2017Many assessments/polygraph: no sex addictionStatus: R

posts: 1433   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2018   ·   location: New England
id 8649294
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