SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Bigger made a solid point about the equity in the house. Using leverage to strip out more than 50 percent is justifiable.

Why should she benefit equally, particularly if it was used as a fuck pad paid for by your inheritence?

You are entitled to BAH Married Rate until your divorce. Actually, it's partly her entitlement too. Unless something has changed since I retired several years ago. It's good to see you taking action.

[This message edited by Cromer at 11:20 AM, April 11th (Wednesday)]

Don't forget to change any direct deposit for your paycheck to your new bank account.

In an hour I'm making an on the record visit to the bastard's CO. It's a courtesy call to share some intel with him about one of his LPO's. Information has many lawful paths to dissemination in Big Navy. **** knows my action timeline, he won't compromise that. Tomorrow I'll see the JAG. I'm not walking away from this unscathed, neither will he. I had a telephone conversation with ****, there's nothing unbecoming about my modus operandi here. Conduct unbecoming would be beating him senseless in my driveway & putting him in ICU or acting in a way detrimental to good order, for instance by visiting him in the shop where he works. What I'm doing is delivering accountability. The CMC will be joining us.

[This message edited by LtCdrLost at 11:33 PM, April 16th (Monday)]

Have you been in contact with your WW at all? Is she suspicious?

Good idea about getting your plans approved.

Thank you for your service and good luck.

Ginny, she has no idea.

[This message edited by LtCdrLost at 11:34 PM, April 16th (Monday)]

Devoted, it's not so much getting approval, it's extending a courtesy to the bastard's CO.

[This message edited by LtCdrLost at 11:35 PM, April 16th (Monday)]

Plus with the CMC present, that's one less thing I'll need to do as this all flies apart after Friday.

Sorry to hear about your situation 'LtCdrLost'. I'm impressed with your composure. You seem to be lining things up nicely. You probably already know this, but it may be a good idea to mentally run yourself through the possible scenarios that could occur when the reveal happens. Try to anticipate reactions and have solid responses at the ready. You have many years with this woman. Seeing her face-to-face will have an affect on you. Don't allow your resolve to waiver and don't allow yourself to lose your cool in the face of her reaction. Bringing a friend along or having one at the ready might be helpful in the off chance that your emotions get the best of you. One thing that you don't want to do is ruin your future with a few seconds of lost control. Take care of yourself.

Lt.C

Do you want more than a 50% share of the house?

Ideally, sure. But there's a tangible value in getting out of this marriage as fast as I can. Would I kiss $50K+ goodbye to do that? Obviously I have no intention of showing my cards to my cheating whore of a soon to be ex-wife, but that's something I'll need to strategize with my attorney. She came to me highly recommended, I see shark-like tendencies in her which I admire.

[This message edited by LtCdrLost at 11:35 PM, April 16th (Monday)]

Your attorney will cover this, but just remember that an equitable distribution state means equitable (fair), and that is not the same as equal. Also, if you can trace your inheritance payment back to its origin with documentation (bank records, etc.), you MAY be able to exclude it from marital assets, i.e., you may be able to get it all back when the house sells and the remainder of the equity would then be split 50/50 (or whatever you agree on as equitable given all other asset division). Obviously, talk to your attorney.

My ex used an inheritance for the down payment on our home, and I got it and all the rest of the equity (and possession of the house) because I offset the value "equitably" with recreational toys and firearms that he wanted (and I didn't care about).

Just some food for thought.

Is there any possibility that you will be recognized by the OM when you visit with his CO? I would hate to see you lose the advantage at this point.

There's a possibility, sure. But I've never even been in the same room with him. He knows he's banging a married woman and I'm sure he's seen my photo. But I'm not going anywhere near the A/F shop or the hangars. Just the CO's office.

Loverboy is going to drop your wife faster than a bad habit.

I've seen this rodeo before.

[This message edited by MidnightRun at 4:04 PM, April 11th (Wednesday)]

Who cares if he recognizes him? If he does, then break into this move:

I'm an Army retiree and it has been a while since I retired. Back then if you were married longer than 10 years of your career then the spouse you divorce could claim half of your retirement. Is there a way you can protect your retirement? By the way, I think you are doing a great job. Finally someone who knows how to use the UCMJ and is willing to do so. I do wish you well.

When you're calculating all this stuff don't forget your pension. Make her give that up if you can.

I'm an Army retiree and it has been a while since I retired. Back then if you were married longer than 10 years of your career then the spouse you divorce could claim half of your retirement. Is there a way you can protect your retirement? By the way, I think you are doing a great job. Finally someone who knows how to use the UCMJ and is willing to do so. I do wish you well.

Both of us typing at the same time. It's not automatic, it goes by the jurisdiction of the divorce, so it can be negotiated. The 10 year thing is only for the gov't to make a direct payment.