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I received a nasty gram text from step momster yesterday. I'm surprised it took her this long to lash out. It was a 2 pronged attack. How much of a shitty son I was to my father and how much step momster is suffering.

Don't worry. One thing I have learned from SI is to maintain NC and nothing but crickets from me. I had a friend ask me yesterday how I would have reacted in the past. My initial thought was I would have exploded and would have taken the emotional bait. But then I thought about that some more... I think 10 or more years ago I would have taken the message at face value and would have fed the... "She's right. I'm worth nothing." voice in my head. Then a few years ago all of that self negativity boiled over into rage. 2.5 years ago when I was at my worst with PTSD rage I would have lashed out right back at her with everything I had.

Now.... calm, cool, collected. I can see it for what it is. A seriously delusional person seeking attention. Especially negative attention as they thrive on the attention. Nope. Not playing.

*Crickets*

I took the nasty gram and forwarded to my lawyer who said thank you very much and promptly put it in our file as potential evidence to argue against her competency. Keep sending me texts and I'll keep building up the ammo.

Every day that goes by is just another victory.

yop

YOP, there's a Buddhist quote: "Our enemies are our greatest teachers."

There's a lot of truth in that saying. It's a damn rough path to go down (and I realize you've been through hell and back based on what you've shared), but in the end, adversity can result in some of the greatest personal development. It is adversity itself that gives one the necessary motivation to make oneself better. It looks like you've come a long way

Best wishes

Aww, poor wittle stepmomster having to deal with mere mortals who won't let her have her way. Whatever in the world will you manage to do without having her approval of you? Oh, that's right. You go on to break a boot off in her butt, lol! WTG YOP!

"Our enemies are our greatest teachers."

Now that is the truth! Good to hear that you are handling things so well.

I haven't read the thread yet --but I wanted to give you the benefit of my experience. While it can be emotionally healing to contest a will, it is VERY hard to prevail. If your father created a will--even if just to avoid feather-ruffling--then he created a will. Unless there is another one, more recently dated, then your step monster will likely prevail. It is incredibly difficult to prove the intent of someone who is deceased.

I wish I didn't know this first-hand.

ETA: Don't worry about the delays---that's the name of the game in the legal world. And really, they work in your favor. If she blows a gasket and dies, then the matter is taken care of.

[This message edited by solus sto at 3:50 PM, May 31st (Tuesday)]

Thanks Solus. I've already prevailed though. And I continue to as I have had many victories on this road. I already accepted the fact that I will receive nothing and all may still go to step momster before we even started the case. No worries there as it's not about the money. Really it was more about exposing her as a bully/criminal. Her exposure of who she really is was set in motion when the police records were subpoenaed. I really didn't want her to get away with everything that she has done to my father over the years. I know at a minimum she has now had to explain herself to her lawyer who had no idea and those files are now part of the court records. I also was able to see what was in those files. As the case continues there will be more to come in that area.

And since we are on SI, step momster's recent infidelities may or may not be coming out in this case as well. We haven't gotten that far yet. Not surprising that she is a serial cheater as step momster was the OW in the destruction of my FOO.

ETA: Don't worry about the delays---that's the name of the game in the legal world. And really, they work in your favor. If she blows a gasket and dies, then the matter is taken care of.

Personally I'm loving the delays. Step momster not so much...which I think is what finally caused her to lash out with the nasty gram she sent me.

All is well.

yop

Since your main goal was exposure and holding up her profiting from your father's death, it looks like you've already succeeded. Congratulations, YOP!

Gotta love them crickets, my friend!

[This message edited by Skan at 4:01 PM, June 2nd, 2016 (Thursday)]

As the saying goes "I love it when a plan comes together!"

How very kind of step momster to get in touch and confirm that for you! !

They want you to sign off for a reason.

You're my HERO!!!!!

Update - There hasn't been much to report but for those who have been asking/curious...

Absolutely nothing happened over the summer through early fall with the my father's estate. No movement at all. My lawyer has been dragging her feet whenever she can. This is a good thing as every day that goes by is another victory for me. The latest is that a summary judgement was supposed to be filed back in early Nov but the courts delayed this to 12/21. After that, stepmomster's lawyer will have a few weeks to respond.

My relationship with stepsister continues to grow and we chat periodically. Stepsis, her partner, and her kids came to visit us at the end of the summer and we had a great time. Stepmomster was hardly even mentioned during that visit but we did talk about my (our) dad quite a bit.

Stepsis also continues to be NC with stepmomster though things get back to her through her other family members. Stepsis did hear that stepmomster continues to flip out over this lawsuit crying victim. How stepmomster is going to lose the house and the lawyers are going to get all the money. And yet, stepsis sent me facebook photos of all the plastic surgery that stepmomster had over the past few months. Scary stuff!!! So she can't be that bad off or she's just racking up her debt. Don't know, don't care. So much drama swirling around that black hole stepmomster.

yop

Hi YOP25,

I'm happy to hear that Stepmomster is getting some consequences for her atrocious actions.

Stay the course

I wish the Viper would receive some consequences for her evil behavior.

Hope you and family are doing well. Have a great holiday season!

I hope it's a case of Christmas coming early for you YOP.

Powder burn definition:

A powder burn is a type of burn caused by exposure to the burning gases which are expelled from the muzzle of a firearm as it is fired.[1] Powder burns only occur when the person or item to be burned is close to the discharging firearm, as the gases quickly dissipate.[2] This can be an indicator on a corpse of whether the person was shot at point-blank range or not.

Sounds to me like StepMomster may actually have some stippling and not just burns from this.

Glad your L is busy doing n.o.t.h.i.n.g. for you!!

Stepmomster can have all the plastic surgery she wants, it won't change who she is, she's still fucking ugly.

Now I've got to see if I can find my teeny weeny violin.

WTG yop!!!

Thanks for the update, YOP. Good to hear that your lawyer is sooooo veeeryyyy slooooowoww.

Curious if you have an update Yop? I have followed your story as another betrayed child; maybe not betrayed to the same degree as you, but still a betrayed child.

SS

Wasn't there a settlement from whoever hit your father? I would think the insurance company would pay. Maybe that's what stepmomster is really wanting. (Sorry if someone else already brought that up).

If there wasn't much to leave, I wonder if there was more than you know about. Good luck and good for you in standing up to her.

Wasn't there a settlement from whoever hit your father? I would think the insurance company would pay.

That's EXACTLY what this is about. And it's still ongoing...

Hey there SS. Didn't think people remembered me too much around these parts since I'm hardly on SI anymore. At least posting wise. I still get the occasional PM and I still read a bit. Mostly when I'm waiting to pick up my kids from one of their activities.

As far as stepmomster and getting all this settled... I'm happy to say that it's STILL on going. I just touched base with my lawyer last week and she's no longer dragging her feet. Stepmomster's lawyer is now dragging his feet for some unknown reason. Medicare also has their hands into this as well for my father's hospice bill.

So the bottom line is it's been 2 years and stepmomster has not seen a dime. She spent all the rest of what my father had on plastic surgery and lord knows what else. Last I heard she was close to loosing the house. She is absolutely livid and I've heard she's blaming all of the world's problems on me. All fine and good by me. I don't care if I get anything and I',m not expecting anything at this point. IF there is anything it will go right to my kids education funds since my father was big on education.

But really not much to report.

However, I have been doing a lot of very heavy lifting in IC and have had a few "breakthroughs" in my healing process this autumn. I could probably give an update on that soon. Like when an affair is not just an affair and an A can be an indicator of so much more. I think I'm at the point where I can talk about my CSA. Just gotta find the time to post more here on SI and I'm not so sure people want to hear it.

yop

[This message edited by yearsofpain25 at 7:58 PM, October 14th (Saturday)]

YOP It's so very great to hear that things are going well for you! You sir are an inspiration to me on more than one level.