SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

And don’t think your kids don’t see what you are doing to me. They had to hold me as I sobbed for 15 minutes last night.”

That is extremely SICK. She is doing ALL this in front of the kids. She is using her kids, and placing them in an adult situation of her creation, and they are KIDS.

You need to end this. File for divorce. YESTERDAY. Get rid of this worthless piece of shit who was your wife.

I know it's hard. I know it's awful. In only got 11 years out of my spouse too, and then got all the shit you're dealing with.

And no, he is not just her friend. Men do not send women flowers for shits and giggles. If she wants the OM to "take care of her", she can get the fuck out of your house, yesterday.

have you been to a lawyer? What did they say? How long will this take?

Sending you blessings and continued strength. You are a good man and a good father.

This will turn around soon enough and you will have peace.

It's good that you can see the absurdity in all of her actions. But, I know, it still hurts.

But you are really making the best of this situation by living in the moment with your children and making positive memories with them even in the midst of all of this shit.

I wish you and your children peace, happiness, and freedom from anxiety.

Your wife, on the otherhand, I wish her a big smack in the face. Sorry if that's out of line.

TCMM,

Have you talked to your attorney to see if she can be removed from the home before the end of the 6 month waiting period if she is harming the children? I'm concerned about her crazymaking and the long term effects of it on the kids. Please tell us you have every conversation and interaction with her on the VAR? This needs to stop...

TCMM,

Please contact your attorney. You need to remove this poison from your house immediately. Is there anyway that you can have her removed as long as she is in contact with the OM? She is destroying your kids.

Oh, one more thing... You DID cancel all joint credit cards, right? If so, I'm curious how she thinks you are going to pay for her rental car this weekend?

Also, in addition to the VAR, are you keeping a date and time stamped journal of everything she says and does? I'm talking about documenting when she leaves, returns, and some of the stupid shit she says like the BS about the rental car? This info can only help your case but you need to be meticulous about documenting. I would even go so far as to photographing the shit she does like leaving the flowers from OM blatantly in front of the kids and dumping out your shit in front of the kids.

ALWAYS document in multiple formats if you can!

What does the attorney say about buying a vehicle.

I never needed my H's permission to by a vehicle when we were together

Hexed,

Honestly I don't think the court is going to be that concerned about it. The vehicle was a necessity since the other one died. TCMM picked a similar vehicle to keep the status quo as things were before the proceedings were filed. Now had he (or she) bought some expensive tricked out car like NB wants, the court probably wouldn't be too happy about that and its value would go against whomever got it, financially speaking. That's why I said yesterday that if she doesn't like the van, she can refuse it and go buy her own car herself. But be prepared that if she buys a high-dollar car like a Mercedes, she would have to give TCMM half the value of its worth through cash or other things from her share of the equity and household goods.

Why do you need her approval to buy her a gift? A gift that OM gets when she trys to move him into your house when the divorce becomes final. Does she know that the house will most likely have to be sold? Is she really going to move into his trailer with three children? Have you talked to her realisticly about the living arrangements, what they may look like, about having to get a full time job? Is other man just going to step in and take your place and support her? There are medical problems with your STBXW, something is not right upstairs.

It's being made abundantly clear that she is trying to alienate your children from you. That crap about being held while she cries is taken straight from the playbook. Some signs of developing Parental Alienation Syndrome are:

•Telling the child details about the marital relationship or reasons for the divorce.

•One parent blaming the other parent for financial problems, breaking up the family, changes in lifestyle, etc.

Crying to your daughters about the van, in addition to being incredibly immature, looks as if she's beginning to try to not so subtly get the kids "on her side".

Please tell your lawyer immediately. Also, photograph the flowers from the other man, show their prominent placement in YOUR home and inform your lawyer of that also.

Damn her for what she's doing to innocent children. It's something only the most selfish of parents could do.

[This message edited by anhedonia at 10:17 AM, July 15th (Thursday)]

MadhatterMama,

I just read that you had already recommended photographing the flowers.

Sometimes I post before I read!

[This message edited by tulipcitymadman at 8:26 PM, October 20th (Wednesday)]

She is as sharp as a wet bag of mice.

Never heard that one before.

I'm sorry you're going through this, and I hope it doesn't escalate into a War of the Roses...

The sooner she D's you the sooner she can SELL the van and get what she wants...dumb bitch!!

In my D both vehicles were paid for and Ex and I split up the cars...since mine was considered more costly (even though long paid for) I had to "buy" it from Ex.(deducted from my share of the sale of the house) which of the vehicles is worth more? give it to her...but she will have to consider it an asset that will have to be split equally.

This toxic bitch who can't wait to leave is sure looking for ways to prolong her own "agony". File a motion to list the house before she drains any more money (pool etc)...

Boy, is she in for a suprise when the Judge sees all her insane antics. She has NO idea what's in store for her.

I like the bag of mice. Good one. It's right up there wit "dumb as a box of rocks".

[This message edited by andyd1950 at 5:55 PM, July 15th (Thursday)]

TCMM,

I am a florist and as much as you thought by putting a cap full of bleach in those flowers, was going to hurt them...you actually are helping them!

You can try changing the water with a high concentration of salt or if you have some round-up, put a cap of that in there.

I cannot even begin to imagine what kind of poker face her attorney would have to have to listen to her insist on suing you for purchasing a car that doesn't match her self-image! OMG.

Kudos to you for mainly taking the high road and I don't blame you at all for getting in the occasional feel-good jab. Why doesn't OM just buy her a better car? After all, he takes such good care of her! It's downright weird that he hasn't parked a Merc in front of your house yet with a big bow on it.

I also took pictures of the "futon of fury" as it has come to be known in my circle of friends.

"futon of fury"

omg - that gave me a MUCH-needed laugh today. You must have great friends.

also - I will be stealing the "sharp as a bag of wet mice" metaphor. that is priceless.

someone here on SI told me once that my sense of humor would get me through - and it is.

I say the same to you now.

All I can say is "WOW"

I can't believe the lunacy of this woman!

You're awesome for hanging right in there on the high road. Your kids are lucky to have you as a dad!!

You would have to buy an old car used in the making of "Debbie Does Dallas" to match her new image, sorry, it would fit in with the trailer park theme. Do they use a shopping cart to take their laundry to the laundramat?

There was recently a Canadian comedy TV series called Trailer Park Boys, done in a mockumentary type style that chronicles the life of these totally low-life trailer-park burnouts. I would think it funny to netflix a couple episodes and start to "get into it" and leave them laying around. Although I wouldn't call them necessarily kid friendly.

ETA:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trailer_park_boys

[This message edited by socold at 5:14 PM, July 15th (Thursday)]