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still confounded ( member #7826) posted at 2:16 AM on Sunday, November 18th, 2007
Healing Library nomination (again).
k41 sure tells it like it is (or at least was, for me) ... shortly after D-day, I just didn't know what was up or down, what to do, flailing, floundering .. reading this would have at least given me a reference point or two.
"Sometimes, the rest of your life starts with goodbye."
D-day April 2005
(Married 33 years, together 35)
Divorced Dec. '05
Life is good, but it took a long time to heal.
Danu ( member #16811) posted at 3:34 AM on Sunday, November 18th, 2007
Thank you, thank you, thank you! I've been so afraid of making my WH angry with my depression, anger, wants, and needs. I haven't wanted to give him a reason to leave. Well, time to put the big girl panties on and tell him and show him EXACTLY what I feel and think! I think he's lying his sorry ass off STILL with regard to his past actions, and I'm not all that sure he hasn't been in contact with the OW.
"... your soulmate is the person that pushes your buttons, pisses you off on a regular basis, and makes you face your shit" Madonna
BelleStar ( member #13515) posted at 3:58 PM on Wednesday, November 21st, 2007
Bumping for the weekend since TG was my DDay 2 years ago and I wish I knew then about this site and this post espcially.
Happy TG to all SIer's! 
usedup ( member #11701) posted at 4:00 PM on Wednesday, November 21st, 2007
In hindsight I wish I'd have polygraphed his ass as soon as the fog lifted,it would have saved me months and months of torture.I would also have gotten a gps sooner and a var immediately...it proves honesty as well as dishonesty..
thanks for the bump belle and happy TG to you
deakerdoo ( member #17085) posted at 4:52 PM on Wednesday, November 21st, 2007
I've just read down through this set of posts too, starting with the very first. My WW has not exhibited any of the signs of remorse and continues to live at the home of the OP. I was in the BS fog, but thankfully now that's clearing.
Me-52 BH
Her-46 WS
4 Beautiful Daughters
2 Great Dogs
beyondpain6107 ( member #15120) posted at 5:04 PM on Wednesday, November 21st, 2007
Great post. I too nominate this for the healing library. Wow, the nail was hit on the head.
Me-BS(then 35)
Divorced 2008
Married 15 years
D-Day 6/01/07
D-Day #2 7/25/07 - I'm so stupid for believing
Dday #3 2/19/08 False R - Was good for a while
D 7/16/08
2 Children
Praising God everyday for setting me f
Imhere ( member #10349) posted at 6:20 PM on Wednesday, November 21st, 2007
This is still in my top 5 favourite posts. Amen, Katherine!
"On and on you will hike, and I know you'll hike far, and face up to your problems whatever they are." - Dr. Suess
unable2go4ward ( member #16544) posted at 8:34 PM on Wednesday, November 21st, 2007
Wish I had had this on D-Day.
Him- WS 2007
D-day #1 Sept 14, 2007
D-day #2 Oct 24, 2007
D-day #3 Jan 8, 2008
katherine41 (original poster member #5792) posted at 2:06 AM on Wednesday, November 28th, 2007
still confounded ( member #7826) posted at 3:09 AM on Friday, November 30th, 2007
Almost every day, certainly every time I read the JFO forum, there is some BS distraught and confused and wondering what to do, what to do, and when and whether what he/she has in mind is "fair" or "rash" or will it push the WS away more or help bring the WS back, etc., etc., etc.
And every time I read one of those posts, I think of katherine41's 20/20 Hindsight wisdom.
So I'm bumping for newbies again.
"Sometimes, the rest of your life starts with goodbye."
D-day April 2005
(Married 33 years, together 35)
Divorced Dec. '05
Life is good, but it took a long time to heal.
still confounded ( member #7826) posted at 2:46 AM on Saturday, December 8th, 2007
"Sometimes, the rest of your life starts with goodbye."
D-day April 2005
(Married 33 years, together 35)
Divorced Dec. '05
Life is good, but it took a long time to heal.
FreedomRoad ( member #13961) posted at 11:07 PM on Monday, December 10th, 2007
Conduct your blooming in the noise and the whip of the whirlwind - Gwendolyn Brooks
scaredwitless ( member #14384) posted at 12:49 PM on Tuesday, December 11th, 2007
This too shall pass... like a kidney stone, but it will pass.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
katherine41 (original poster member #5792) posted at 11:40 PM on Saturday, December 15th, 2007
bump.
This is a game plan. A framework for when you're floundering.
MoeGreen63 ( member #6832) posted at 11:46 PM on Saturday, December 15th, 2007
I feel like I'm at a Disco with all this bumping going on!
In all seriousness, this is an incredible post for those who first arrive here. Even those who have been struggling for awhile. While K41 has had one of the bumpiest rides here, it is important to note that there is a lot of consistency in the experiences we all have had. K41 makes an important contribution here and I hope all new folks take it to heart.
Now if you'll excuse me. I'm going to put on, my my my my my Boogie Shoes.
katherine41 (original poster member #5792) posted at 12:01 AM on Sunday, December 16th, 2007
Thanks, Moe. I'll do a little boogie with ya.
Seriously. . . many of us get a ton of disrespect from the fog-bound. Moe, I remember a certain birdhouse on your end? One that needed trashing?
katherine41 (original poster member #5792) posted at 1:59 PM on Tuesday, December 18th, 2007
I bump myself, over and over. . .
still confounded ( member #7826) posted at 3:44 AM on Saturday, December 22nd, 2007
"Sometimes, the rest of your life starts with goodbye."
D-day April 2005
(Married 33 years, together 35)
Divorced Dec. '05
Life is good, but it took a long time to heal.
discombobulated ( member #6580) posted at 2:51 PM on Saturday, December 22nd, 2007
Excellent post, Katherine! You've come a long, long way, girlfriend! Bravo!
BS - age 52- married 27 years, in IC, support groups
WH - age 57 - sex addict/porn addict, NPD
Children 2 boys, 19 & 16
D-day #1 2/2/05, D-day #2: 1/22/06
R 4/21/05, but that was another lie, just a game.
D-day #3 11/06
Divorce final may 09
steelcity1 ( member #17437) posted at 5:22 PM on Saturday, December 22nd, 2007
Great post.
I think the list would be great for any counselor to review when BS came to them for counseling.
DDay: 09/30/2007
Me: BH: 43
WW: 46
One child: age 10
Divorced: March 18, 2008.
I recommend all BS get a "Livestrong" bracelet and wear it; its helped me tremendously!
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