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Newest Member: Searchingforsun

Just Found Out :
20/20 Hindsight--What I wish I'd done

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thyme2go ( member #12908) posted at 10:18 PM on Thursday, February 21st, 2008

Take to heart and soul what the original poster says in this thread. A very wise post.

-t2g

BH - no longer 50
3 DD's - (32, 28 and 21)
Divorced on 8/6/09

posts: 9204   ·   registered: Dec. 10th, 2006   ·   location: ND
id 2796758
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FreedomRoad ( member #13961) posted at 6:55 AM on Friday, February 22nd, 2008

bumping because this needs to be on page 1

Conduct your blooming in the noise and the whip of the whirlwind - Gwendolyn Brooks

posts: 5286   ·   registered: Mar. 16th, 2007   ·   location: East Coast
id 2797926
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brohl5 ( member #13440) posted at 4:40 PM on Friday, February 22nd, 2008

bump

I'm not going to let this define me anymore. He's gone and I couldn't be happier.

You couldn't have told me in July and December of 2006, but there really is a life after this mess.

Breathe, just breathe.

posts: 5674   ·   registered: Jan. 25th, 2007   ·   location: Indiana
id 2798874
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brohl5 ( member #13440) posted at 2:32 AM on Sunday, February 24th, 2008

bump, bump

I'm not going to let this define me anymore. He's gone and I couldn't be happier.

You couldn't have told me in July and December of 2006, but there really is a life after this mess.

Breathe, just breathe.

posts: 5674   ·   registered: Jan. 25th, 2007   ·   location: Indiana
id 2803477
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Momuv4 ( member #17798) posted at 3:21 AM on Sunday, February 24th, 2008

Thank you. I needed this today after yet another false R.

Me: 44,H: 35,Married 1 year
Divorced 07, pregnant right after.
Thought we were in R, wrong!
H still involved with OW 2/08
H said he was committed
3/08 Little Girl Born!
7/08 DUI and found contact with OW
Kicked him out!
Trying to rebuild

posts: 972   ·   registered: Jan. 17th, 2008   ·   location: California
id 2803635
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yougogirl ( member #11332) posted at 10:55 PM on Monday, February 25th, 2008

Yes, don't reveal sources and/or evidence, I wish I hadn't started asking WH questions in late 2005/early 2006!!! I think it just made him go underground.

Now I can't beat myself up enough when thinking of the opportunities I missed to confirm my suspicions.

Me = doormat BS, early 50s
Him = Narcissistic XWH, same age
Married 25 years, known 28 years, HAPPILY divorced
One DD (18) and 2 pets
Separated 12/15/14, divorced 11/2016

posts: 2414   ·   registered: Jul. 17th, 2006   ·   location: East Coast
id 2807979
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 katherine41 (original poster member #5792) posted at 3:54 AM on Tuesday, March 4th, 2008

^^^^^

posts: 8212   ·   registered: Nov. 10th, 2004
id 2829609
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peridot ( member #18334) posted at 5:05 AM on Tuesday, March 4th, 2008

I wish that I had found this board years ago. Would have saved me years of heartache.

I think...therefore, I'm single.

It is what it is.

posts: 4941   ·   registered: Feb. 23rd, 2008
id 2829739
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 katherine41 (original poster member #5792) posted at 11:47 PM on Tuesday, March 4th, 2008

Re-bumping for the new guys today. I think it applies to WWs just as much as WHs.

posts: 8212   ·   registered: Nov. 10th, 2004
id 2832010
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naiveandhurting ( new member #18420) posted at 1:47 AM on Wednesday, March 5th, 2008

Thank you katherine. I am a Newbie here - only been a little over one week since D Day - Feb 22. THank you for your strong and supportive words - I am of course not at that stage but it is comforting to know that there is hope.

posts: 21   ·   registered: Feb. 29th, 2008
id 2832381
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brohl5 ( member #13440) posted at 5:37 PM on Friday, March 7th, 2008

bump

I'm not going to let this define me anymore. He's gone and I couldn't be happier.

You couldn't have told me in July and December of 2006, but there really is a life after this mess.

Breathe, just breathe.

posts: 5674   ·   registered: Jan. 25th, 2007   ·   location: Indiana
id 2841149
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no_one ( member #18041) posted at 10:10 PM on Friday, March 7th, 2008

awesome post, im gonna really try this

im dead inside

posts: 469   ·   registered: Feb. 3rd, 2008
id 2842037
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 katherine41 (original poster member #5792) posted at 3:35 AM on Tuesday, March 11th, 2008

^^^

posts: 8212   ·   registered: Nov. 10th, 2004
id 2849972
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mom of 2 ( member #11214) posted at 1:52 PM on Saturday, March 15th, 2008

bump

Me: BW
Divorced after 23 years of M thanks to XH's truth trickle.
Status: Recovering and healing. It's going to be a long hard road.

Update November 2013: It only took seven years but I finally turned a corner. :)

posts: 13401   ·   registered: Jul. 6th, 2006   ·   location: The suburbs of hell
id 2864351
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WhiteWolfWinning ( member #12475) posted at 2:23 PM on Saturday, March 15th, 2008

K,

I sure wish I'd seen this 18 months ago.

Newbies, read K's post and take it to heart.

I put myself through a boatload of pain, agony, humiliation and financial distress ....

for nothing.

Wolf

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply, Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God

Thank you, Lord, for the lightness of my burdens

posts: 8276   ·   registered: Oct. 29th, 2006   ·   location: midwest
id 2864377
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Boadicea ( member #18032) posted at 2:27 PM on Saturday, March 15th, 2008

I too wish I had seen this in the early days...

“One man’s folly is often another man’s wife.” Helen Rowland

posts: 751   ·   registered: Feb. 2nd, 2008   ·   location: New York City
id 2864384
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FreedomRoad ( member #13961) posted at 4:24 AM on Tuesday, March 18th, 2008

bump for newbies

Conduct your blooming in the noise and the whip of the whirlwind - Gwendolyn Brooks

posts: 5286   ·   registered: Mar. 16th, 2007   ·   location: East Coast
id 2871267
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 katherine41 (original poster member #5792) posted at 4:57 AM on Friday, March 21st, 2008

^^

posts: 8212   ·   registered: Nov. 10th, 2004
id 2880093
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OnlyLonely ( member #14326) posted at 3:26 PM on Friday, March 21st, 2008

I am so glad that you've bumped this. I have looked for it in the past, I think it should be stickied at the top of the forum it's so good.

I read this originally right after dday during what was false R (had no idea at the time) and your post is what lit a fire under me and I honestly think that if I wouldn't have read it, I would have gone months and months in pain with a foggy WS instead of just one week.

This should be page one of the BS handbook.

Me: BS
Him: FWH
Married: 18 years

Status: In R

posts: 7555   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2007
id 2880698
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64fleet ( member #18710) posted at 9:17 PM on Friday, March 21st, 2008

I wish I hadn't brought kids into this marriage, but I truly thought this M was "the one", I really expected to grow old w/her, what a fool I have been

time wounds all heels

posts: 5546   ·   registered: Mar. 19th, 2008   ·   location: deliverance land
id 2881667
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