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bufffalo ( member #21854) posted at 4:09 AM on Tuesday, October 26th, 2010
bumping to page one... 
takilasunrise ( member #29786) posted at 3:16 PM on Tuesday, October 26th, 2010
Thanks for bumping this up so I could find it! I found the author's site (that came up with the technique) and she explains that it's for yourself first....it doesn't mean it will get your spouse back, but it will put you in a better place to handle whatever may come along.....yes, a "side affect" could be to get your WS's attention again, but it won't save your marriage per se. You BOTH have to want to "fix it". The list in the FAQ's is just specific things to do or not to do as it pertains to your WS. You have to be flexible to modify it as needed, too...such as the part that says do not say I love you. When my WH says he loves me first, I will still say it back, but I don't initiate it now. It is hard to apply the technique at times, especially when you're feeling pretty low or mad, but as explained, it's for you, NOT to get your WS back.
BW - Me, 49 years old
WH - Him, 51 years old)
D-Day July 2010 (several D-days to follow)
Divorced February 7, 2012
Denial isn't the way to forgiveness. The Karma for screwing over a good girl is the Bitch you end up with.
september7 ( member #29929) posted at 7:50 PM on Tuesday, October 26th, 2010
Thanks this is so well written !! Trying to implement the 180 myself and this really helps me understand!!
Thanks for taking the time to write this.
D-Day September 7, 2010 NC ended December 22, 2010 and I kicked him OUT! WH dumps OW July 2, 2011 and wants to R! Now he has been living with me and on best behavior since then!
bufffalo ( member #21854) posted at 3:35 PM on Thursday, October 28th, 2010
I did this 180....and am glad i did. Thanks SerJR.
bufffalo
WHATDOIDONEXT ( member #29937) posted at 12:30 AM on Monday, November 1st, 2010
DDay Sept 12th 2010.
BW 47.
FWH 46 (Penitent95).
Married 5 years
2 DS's 1 & 3 years old.
2 SDD 17 & 19 years old.
As a phoenix rises from the ashes I to shall rise from embers that were once my old life.I shall rise anew. Stronger, wiser.
Jen ( member #26584) posted at 3:19 AM on Wednesday, November 3rd, 2010
Me former Booger Bear ...
https://youtu.be/1TcLw3TOIN8
Hand Me Down MatchBox 20
https://youtu.be/iFdOAyyn76M
Love Falls by HellYeah
Cee64D ( member #21836) posted at 7:43 PM on Sunday, November 7th, 2010
The hardest part of forgiveness is accepting it from others...
Me BH 44
Clarrissa FWW 44
D-Day 04 Oct, 2008
Llanden ( member #10402) posted at 3:05 AM on Monday, November 8th, 2010
"11) Remember what has worked for you in the past. Likely beneath all the doubts, fears, recriminations, and self-criticism that are swirling around your head, you hear a few faint and muffled words of your own good advice telling you what is good for you. This counsel may be barely audible, but listen carefully to it. You already have everything you need to be happy, including the wisdom you have developed over your life so far. "
This part rings so true to me. If I had listened to that little inner voice that was trying to scream at me but all I was hearing was a whisper .. I would be in such a better place. Thank you for clarifying the 180 ... it's hard to see through the "fog" when, especially being a BS, the pain hurts so much.
"If you can't handle me at my worst, then you don't deserve me at my best."
BS 41
DD's 20, 14 and 11
WHATDOIDONEXT ( member #29937) posted at 5:50 PM on Wednesday, November 10th, 2010
bump for notsohopeful
[This message edited by WHATDOIDONEXT at 11:50 AM, November 10th (Wednesday)]
DDay Sept 12th 2010.
BW 47.
FWH 46 (Penitent95).
Married 5 years
2 DS's 1 & 3 years old.
2 SDD 17 & 19 years old.
As a phoenix rises from the ashes I to shall rise from embers that were once my old life.I shall rise anew. Stronger, wiser.
hard_yards ( member #23549) posted at 5:41 PM on Thursday, November 11th, 2010
bump 
I feel like I'm in a parallel universe... everything looks the same... but something's just not right...
bigpicture3236 ( member #27861) posted at 12:21 PM on Sunday, November 14th, 2010
If you love something and hurt it dearly, then chose not to fix it...you never deserved it in the first place.
AttemptStrength ( member #27947) posted at 6:18 PM on Monday, November 15th, 2010
BS me
WS him x2 A's
1 autistic DS
I'd never have spent the money on a wedding dress if I knew I was just going to a costume party.
lordhasaplan? ( member #30079) posted at 8:12 PM on Wednesday, November 17th, 2010
BS- Me (45)D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10). Currently in R.Don't carry others crap. It's your job to fix yourself, not your spouse.
bufffalo ( member #21854) posted at 3:41 PM on Tuesday, November 23rd, 2010
bufffalo ( member #21854) posted at 5:09 AM on Friday, November 26th, 2010
bump
socold ( member #17400) posted at 4:32 PM on Saturday, December 4th, 2010
(me)fBH 35
D-Day Dec 9, 2007
D final Oct 19th 2010
socold ( member #17400) posted at 11:07 PM on Tuesday, December 7th, 2010
(me)fBH 35
D-Day Dec 9, 2007
D final Oct 19th 2010
socold ( member #17400) posted at 11:50 PM on Friday, December 10th, 2010
(me)fBH 35
D-Day Dec 9, 2007
D final Oct 19th 2010
UKgirl ( member #17062) posted at 5:16 PM on Sunday, December 12th, 2010
p
Affair1: Dday 30/07/06 LTA: 5yrs ex-fiancee Affair2: Dday 04/09/20 9mths another XHSgf.Me/BS, still young. Him/WS, old. 4 grown boysHaving an affair because you are unhappy is like eating Ex-lax because you are hungry - unfound's mom
socold ( member #17400) posted at 12:33 AM on Wednesday, December 22nd, 2010
(me)fBH 35
D-Day Dec 9, 2007
D final Oct 19th 2010
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