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Darkness Falls ( member #27879) posted at 3:23 PM on Sunday, August 11th, 2019
I have the same question as cocoplus. If you were having sex during her fertile period while she was cheating, she would have no idea and it wouldn’t be a lie.
Married -> I cheated -> We divorced -> We remarried -> Had two kids -> Now we’re miserable again
Staying together for the kids
D-day 2010
Jesusismyanchor ( member #58708) posted at 3:17 AM on Monday, August 12th, 2019
I thought the same thing? Would she even really know if she was having sex with 2 men? I agree that all you may be able to verify is what she thinks or if she used protection as she stated via a polygraph or threat of one. I am so sorry this is hard. I can understand why you would want to know. The level of hurt they cause is so deep.
Jeremiah 29:11- For I know the plans I have for you, plans to give you hope and a future
Niceguy25 (original poster member #70801) posted at 5:02 AM on Monday, August 12th, 2019
It’s always in the details. When she returned from her trip, she told me we would not be having intercourse for at least six weeks while she decided if she wanted a divorce. I was traveling with work and only home E/O weekend. The miscarriage happened in the 12th week, and we had had sex in the 7 week when she informed me she wanted to stay married. I have long thought she made this decision because he dumped her during that first 6 weeks. Now I also wonder if her decision to stay was because she knew she was pregnant. And you're right, I will never know because I do believe she would deny it being his to protect herself.
Her: WS, 35 at the time of the AMe: BS, 40 at the time if the A, 2 kids 7&9. Him: OM, 50, colonel in the AF, married, two grown kids, and a compulsive cheatNow, WS 65, Me 70, Him 79WS attempted to contact him and I found the card
Butforthegrace ( member #63264) posted at 1:22 PM on Monday, August 12th, 2019
I think you should present it to her as your conclusion based on what you know, including the part about him dumping her. Put the burden on her to disprove it. And emphasize that your belief is that she was prepared to let you raise anothe man's child.
"The wicked man flees when no one chases."
cocoplus5nuts ( member #45796) posted at 10:52 PM on Monday, August 12th, 2019
The thing you need to determine is how far along she was in relation to when you had intercourse with her. A woman has a very small window during which she can get pregnant. It's 6 days, the 5 days before and the day of ovulation. That's it. Any sex that occurs outside that window cannot result in a pregnancy. And, while it's possible to get pregnant from sex that occurred 5 days before ovulation, it's not likely. Most pregnancies happen from sex within 3 days of ovulation.
The tricky part is knowing when she ovulated. Most women don't know. The 28 day cycle with ovulation on the 14th day is a myth, so you can't really rely on that. You can't rely on how far along a medical professional told her she was, either. Most rely on the 28 day cycle, so at day 28 all women are considered to be 4 weeks pregnant. That can be off by weeks. You can narrow things if she had regular cycles.
If she had regular cycles and you remember the dates, you might be able to get a clearer picture.
Me(BW): 1970
WH(caveman): 1970
Married June, 2000
DDay#1 June 8, 2014 EA
DDay#2 12/05/14 confessed to sex before polygraph
Status: just living my life
Evertrying ( member #60644) posted at 11:41 PM on Monday, August 12th, 2019
Cheaters. Are. Fucking. Stupid.
HAHAHAHAHA!!!! 
Good one.
[This message edited by Evertrying at 5:41 PM, August 12th (Monday)]
BS - 55 on dday
WH - 48 on dday
Dday: 9/1/17
Status: Reconciled
anoldlion ( member #51571) posted at 3:13 AM on Tuesday, August 13th, 2019
She cheated on you and she got to decide if she wanted a divorce or not. Does anyone, other than me, see something wrong with this picture? I do wish you well.
barcher144 ( member #54935) posted at 3:31 AM on Tuesday, August 13th, 2019
This now haunts me but I don’t know how to ask the question “Was it his?” Advice anyone?
I think that you should let this go. It doesn't matter and it is likely that she does not know for sure.
My guess is that she did not use condoms regularly, if at all. If the two of you were still having sex, then it's a coin flip.
Me: Crap, I'm 50 years old. D-Day: August 30, 2016. Two years of false reconciliation. Divorce final: Feb 1, 2021. Re-married: December 3, 2022.
Niceguy25 (original poster member #70801) posted at 4:01 AM on Tuesday, August 13th, 2019
We had 7 pregnancies. Each and every time she told me she was pregnant within a week of conception. She’s a Maternity Nurse and in tune with her body. If she was and it was his, she would have known within those 1st 6 weeks
[This message edited by Niceguy25 at 11:30 PM, August 12th (Monday)]
Her: WS, 35 at the time of the AMe: BS, 40 at the time if the A, 2 kids 7&9. Him: OM, 50, colonel in the AF, married, two grown kids, and a compulsive cheatNow, WS 65, Me 70, Him 79WS attempted to contact him and I found the card
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