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She is not getting any response from you so now she is letting bad scenarios for her tumble through her head. She sounds worried she has lost you from under her thumb and realizes you can bust her out to everyone. Sounds like a good dose of reality is finally seeping in. Keep up the strong front.

Seems like the past few days you tightened the drum. Now you hit it in the right place. What happens when you hit a drum? It makes noise. You probably need to act fast if you don't want a whole cacophony of other instruments drowning out your sound. Good luck. (I've been following your story from the sidelines.)

Do not respond to her text until after you have sent info to OBSs.

you are only accomplishng negative things....please move forward positively....there are children involved... stop all of this

With this small edit, she should take her own advice.

Feb,

So sorry for you and this sh^t.

She is one cold fish. Her message truly gave me the chills. Probably because she sounds a lot like my X.

Expose all of this before she gets back and shifts all the blame on you.

Be prepared for a war. Carry a VAR at all times when you are dealing with her.

It is incredibly easy for a wife to have a husband arrested and then get a restraining order to keep you out of the house.

Good luck brother.

Tahiti

Well....crap. Now, the cat's out of the bag. You've got to inform everybody that needs to know, tonight. All the WWbangers and WW are getting their stories together right now. They'll make you out as crazy, jealous without reason, etc., as has already been pointed out. Ugh.

You may have not noticed yet but you're at war. The only reply I think it'd make sense in this scenario would be: NUTS! :)

Kids are not doing bedtime well..that isn't helping...

Not sent ...

******, Let me get ths straight. You are willing to use our entire future together as a bargaining chip to save your two affair partners from the consequences of their actions (or as I think of it, their wive's right to know who they're really married to)? I am certainly not using other people's lives as pawns in a chess game with you. I have hard decisions to make about what is right and wrong, and I will make them myself.

Feb,

Well....crap. Now, the cat's out of the bag. You've got to inform everybody that needs to know, tonight. All the WWbangers and WW are getting their stories together right now. They'll make you out as crazy, jealous without reason, etc., as has already been pointed out. Ugh.

I agree with paleface, she will attempt damage control? Out to other BS, asap? Then get your R list ready and prepare for the wrath of the cake eater? Best way to prepare is to read current thread, Crazy things WS said. Read prepare for the absolute wayward verbal shit storm approaching. You can weather it with class! Sending you all the Mojo this BH can send your way?

WOO HOO!!! You go!!!!!!!!!

Tell them Feb...tell them. You will feel soooooo good when you let the cat out of the bag.

Sorry the kids are being rough tonight....that was mine last night.

She just tried to Skype me.

Don't do it....she will sit there and sob and try and guilt you into not telling....

Don't do it.

She is trying to stall you until she can get home and do damage control.

Hope you noticed her communication is still all about her and what you might do that will affect her and her reputation. Still no "I'm sorry, I am remorseful, I want to do the work to repair YOU (not just my rep) and she doesn't mind using the kids to forestall you. What is wrong with this picture?

I just e-mailed the OBS of OM1 (probable ONS) and told her on Facebook that I did.

**********, I'm sorry...i don't know if I'm doing the right thng or the wrong thing, but I just sent you the e-mail I referred to in the first message. It's about ***** and *****(WW)...

Feb,

Your doing a good thing here. They deserve to make their choice with their marriages. Your WW doesnt get to play judge and jury for their marriage. Let the BS's know so they can make an informed decision. I am so very proud of you, it takes a tremendous amount os selflessness to understand the correct path. Bravo Feb!

[This message edited by lordhasaplan? at 7:59 PM, March 30th (Wednesday)]

The skype is her finally feeling that she is losing control of you and this situation. She worries without secrecy her actions will be seen and she is scared, watch the scared WW attempt to micromanage the demise of who she believes she is. When she is exposed she has to deal with the full force of her betrayal or go even further into denial. Prayers tonight for Feb and his children. May he walk with you?

Way to go Feb!

The BW's at least get some truth. WW gets consequences. You get control.

Wish I could check in more frequently.

OBS of ONS already knew what she was dealing with.

OBS1 already knew about your WW? or that OM1 sleeps around?

OBS2?

Either way, I'm sure they'll be speaking with OMs 1 and 2. that is pressure on the other end.

Shoe on the other foot. If you were the one having the A, wouldn't your Wife want to be told by someone, even if it was the spouse? You can't go down that road and expect your BS not to tell OBS.

OM1 (ONS) just left here. His wife told him to get out and he came here to "kick my door down." He didn't. I let him in and we talked. He's a mess and I actually feel bad for him.

We talked a lot about both our marriages and their challenges.

He told me that after I contacted his wife, he called OM2 because he's a friend, but also because he had a strong suspicion himself that something had been going on between my WW and him. He filled in some gaps for me wrt that affair, not that I really care anymore.

We agreed on one thing...neither of us is going to sleep tonight (bt at least I get to sleep at home - he's not so sure)

Tell them Feb...tell them. You will feel soooooo good when you let the cat out of the bag.

I don't.

OBS1 already knew about your WW? or that OM1 sleeps around?

Not about WW, but OM1 had had an affair years ago (he admitted it to me tonight too)

Shoe on the other foot. If you were the one having the A, wouldn't your Wife want to be told by someone, even if it was the spouse? You can't go down that road and expect your BS not to tell OBS.

That's why I did it. But I'm having some remorse, because from the evidence and our conversation, it's pretty clear that my WW initiated it, it didn't get past kissing, and it happened once (Sept 30) and he's tried to distance himself since.

edited to add: I'll probably get 2 x 4s for that one, but he gave me specific events, timelines, etc. that all check out.

[This message edited by Feb 8, 2011 at 10:00 PM, March 30th (Wednesday)]