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Oh Dad, I'm so glad you are almost there!!!! Sounds draining, but you got it all hammered out. Please tell me it's set nights she's to have the kids, and she just gives those nights up if she's out of town on her nights. You and the kids need that stability!!!

Hope you are doing something to relax and celebrate a little tonight. You must have stood tall today. I'm soooo proud of you and how far you have come!!!

Woo HOO!!!!

How soon will it be before you know she has signed? That's gonna be the real day to celebrate.

You have done so well. Stay strong.

You will come out of this better, stronger, and happier.

Do something nice for you tonight, a good steak? A nice red wine?

(((and strength)))

Way to go, Abbondad!

In the spirit of SuperDuperWonderBoy and Nature_Girl, I've found a .gif of the Lakers seeing the look on STBX's face after mediation:

As long as we're posting images...

WTG brother. As others have already stated, I'm sure you'll see that percentage go up. keep documenting.

so when will the divorce be final?

You did so well, look how far you have come.

Good on you!

Yaaaaaay AD!

I admit that it feels petty, but I am somehow glad that she is pissed. She is reaping what she has sown, and she's not going to get away with lying about you and dragging you through the mud.

Victory laps tonight! You did so well!!

Wow AD - this is just great to read. To think of where you were when you started on this hellish journey to where you are now - its just fantastic to have witnessed this.

Well done - be proud of yourself and take some time for you and the kids.

V

It sounds like it went well. good for you that's awesome

I've kept up with your story but never responded because others have so much more wisdom than I do. I jut wanted to respond now and say I'm glad you're this far already. I know I was so relieved when we finally had an settlement agreement. I hope your stbx keeps to it and signs. I know there's still much to conquer but this is such a big obstacle won. Good for you. I'm sure you're hurting too and that's normal. Keep hanging on. You're doing great. You're children are lucky to have such a dedicated and strong dad.

Well done abandondad. Much strength.

It seems that it has worked out financially for you as well?

I believe I got the best deal under the circumstances--a decent amount of CS and just a little bridge-the-gap alimony until the house is sold. (Around six months. Even this she is angry about.)

But--and I don't mean to come across as falsely humble--it was and is never about the financial aspect. I could very well have taken her to court (which is still not off the table, pending her actually signing the damn thing) and gotten more. I want the kids to have a stable, predictable schedule over which she has NO control and can longer dictate. And I and my children got it.

Please tell me it's set nights she's to have the kids, and she just gives those nights up if she's out of town on her nights.

Absolutely she has the kids on set nights. I have them a few more school nights per month than she does, but that is fine with me. She has them almost half the school nights; no more weekend Mom. I don't believe that she "gives those nights up if she's out of town," but I do have First Right of Refusal if it's an overnight. And I will take them if it's an overnight (they wouldn't want to be with anyone else), and I will keep documenting, of course.

How soon will it be before you know she has signed?

My lawyer is drafting the settlement today, sending it to her attorney, so hopefully by Friday at the latest. We have NOT cancelled the depositions for Friday, so I am hoping that in the event she starts some nonsense, the looming "threat" of depositions (or more likely the financia cost, for her) will compel her to sign.

so when will the divorce be final?

Ha. You know, I never thought to ask! We still have to do QDROs on her 401K and my pension, I believe. But I am hoping it will all be wrapped up within thirty day.

Oh, and I got Exclusive Use and Possession of the house, and I will be changing the locks immediately. She has thirty days to get her shit out.

I am still a bit upset about the sale of our children's home. I don't want to live in it: I can't afford it, it's too big, and I have too many emotional ties to it. As my brother puts it, I am living in the graveyard of my marriage. But the kids will be upset. (I know I've been over this, but it still bothers me. I will do my best to make the transition exciting and them feel secure.)

Thank you for all your support!

AD

You have done amazingly well through this bit.

You are in control finally. Enjoy changing the locks today.

Don't forget to do the garage code too.

You do realize you will set the tone of how the kids handle the sale of the house, and honestly they will be a bit upset, but I doubt they will be as upset as you predict. Especially if you treat it happily, and as a new adventure in life they will take your cues, and also greet it as a new adventure.

AD, I will be raising a glass in your honor this weekend! Congrats and I hope the remainder goes quickly.

Oh, and I got Exclusive Use and Possession of the house, and I will be changing the locks immediately. She has thirty days to get her shit out.

A. Freaking. Men!

I know that was one of the main sticking points.

It WILL be hard to move, AD; but you and the kids are going to be great. You could live in a cardboard box with those kids and they'd feel just as loved by you and secure because you're their dad!

Edited for spelling...

[This message edited by Lalagirl at 12:14 PM, January 8th (Wednesday)]

Well Done Dad!!!!!

May you begin to relax and enjoy your new found peace in your home.

May your new home be a place of healing for you and your kids.

Hugs,

K

Absolutely she has the kids on set nights. I have them a few more school nights per month than she does, but that is fine with me. She has them almost half the school nights; no more weekend Mom. I don't believe that she "gives those nights up if she's out of town," but I do have First Right of Refusal if it's an overnight. And I will take them if it's an overnight (they wouldn't want to be with anyone else), and I will keep documenting, of course.

I am thrilled to hear everything you have posted. I just wanted to clarify this part....you have first right of refusal. To me, that means if she's going away for work and can't keep them 2 of her nights this week, you take them. She doesn't get to make those nights up later. So that means she "gives them up". Clarify it with your lawyer if you want...but if it didn't meant that, it would mean she would drive you nuts trying to make up 6 nights every month, and expecting you to jump and change the schedule all the time to accommodate....exactly what you don't want by having a set schedule. If she offers you the FRoR, she doesn't make those nights up.

**standing up clapping for abb**

Great job!

Although moving isn't what you want, look at it this way, YOU get to pick the place, make it yours and your babies, AND she can't do a fuckin' thing about it!!!! YEAH!!

We moved across the country when I was young. Thought my world had ended. But you know what? It was the BEST thing our parents did for us! It may take a bit of time, but they will adjust. Just being with you will make it, oh so much, easier.

Good luck with her signing.

Sending strength.

Don't change the locks until she signs. You know you can't trust her.

Congrats, you have done so well. You hung in there when it was so dark and awful. I hope this brings lightness into you life. You are on the road to your new life. Think back how broken you were, how she could upset you and make the tears come. Now you are so much stronger. You are taking care of you the best way you can. That is a gift also for your children.