SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

NTV, did you like my singing?

I've been getting singing lessons from William Hung from American Idol.

People say , I sound just as good as William !

CS means cheating spouse?

CS means cheating spouse?

How's that for added confusion, huh?

It makes sense why folks have adopted this CS acronym, but for the sake of simplicity it would be nice to see the more long term members stick with WS. Infidelity is confusing enough, never mind all the new acronyms newbies need to learn when they first find this site. Why add to the confusion by pushing a new one? Especially one that has a specific use on this site already? SI has been built around the term wayward, there is a reason for it. It may be best to keep that in mind.

ETA: I wasn't directing this comment at you, Sara. It was intended for all of SI's members.

[This message edited by Loukas at 1:07 PM, October 31st (Tuesday)]

I've seen others here use CS, so I've just adopted it from the very beginning.

I just looked in the abbreviations of the healing library but it was not listed.

I've been using CS the whole time I was here and everyone seems to have understood me!

[This message edited by Dorothy123 at 1:14 PM, October 31st (Tuesday)]

Considering some of the posts in this thread Dorothy, I'd say not everyone is understanding CS. As for it being commonly used, that might just be your perception.

Here's a question though. Why the reluctance to use term wayward spouse or WS?

I didn't know CS was not part of SI's official list of acronyms.

I will use WS from on.

I have given a lot of thought to nature-versus-nurture in cheating and inherent propensity toward monogamy.

In my xWW family, she and all of her siblings have been cheaters or OW. Her mother and father were both cheaters. At least three of her grandparents were cheaters.

Nature? Nurture?

PlanC, many people want to believe that cheating is in our genes.

Hence, it was heralded as a great scientific discovery when the " cheating gene" was found.

[This message edited by Dorothy123 at 1:48 PM, October 31st (Tuesday)]

Were they Levi's?

No, NTV they are the premium kind.

True Religion jeans!

[This message edited by Dorothy123 at 2:11 PM, October 31st (Tuesday)]

Dorothy, the cheating gene study was done on male prairie voles which pair bond for life. It had to do with vasopressin (sp?) receptors in only the males. I don't recall whether a high or low number of receptors in some cortex brain thing made them cheaters or faithful. The study interestingly left off the part where the males cheated with females also in a bond. I guess the study implies all female voles are cheaters

I did read this study a few years ago. There hasn't been a link found in human behavior from the vole study. I don't think vole behavior correlates very well with human behavior. Biology is not my area of expertise though. I'm guessing this study has been a godsend for the assholes that write click bait articles.

Wow

Because goodness KNOWS, we can't put the blame squarely where it belongs, right? No, it's easier to invent some hogwash nonsense disorder or 'FOO issue" which also ensures MANY MANY more visits to the quack's office for further 'coun$eling' - because said quack needs to put their kid through college.

Yeah, it couldn't POSSIBLY be that they cheated because they simply couldn't resist temptation, or because they wanted to, or because they wanted sex with someone different, or simply because it was available and they COULD.

No, it's always got to be some ridiculous quack nonsense about the cheater having been neglected or abused or bullied in school or they were traumatized with a hang nail, etc. etc. etc.

^^...this right here^^

The BS should be the one that non BS's should be trying to exonerate and absolve from all personal responsibility because we are truly not at fault.

But it seems that non BS's, from every level of society, are lining up to give the WS (I'm learning not to use CS anymore ) the "get out of jail free" card.

It seems that non BS's are looking at every way possible to give the WS their "get out of jail free " card.

So, the BS gets thrown in jail while the WS get a pile of 30 "get out of jail free" cards .

[This message edited by Dorothy123 at 7:02 AM, November 1st (Wednesday)]

I have no reluctance in blaming the CS/WS

I have refused to blame anyone or anything for my cheating.

I did not cheat because my Dad cheated on my Mom.

I did not cheat because I grew up in Hell.

I did not cheat because pre-A I was on the receiving end of my BH anger issues.

I cheated because I chose to.

I cheated because I chose to allow fear and weakness prevent me from confronting my BH and saying enough.

I cheated because I chose to be a vindictive bitch.

I refuse to blame my parents.

I refuse to blame my Foo issues.

I refuse to blame my BH pre-A anger issues.

More importantly I refuse to blame my BH.

The blame falls on me and me alone.

It was my choice to cheat and I accept full responsibility.

(((Followtheriver,)))

Thank you .

I wished that more non BS's think like you.

[This message edited by Dorothy123 at 3:31 PM, October 31st (Tuesday)]

Is wondering why people do things really a way of saying they aren't personally responsible for their actions? Why DO some people think cheating is no big deal while others are sickened by the thought? Why do some people rob banks and stores and most don't? Why do people abuse drugs and alcohol or eat themselves to death?

You could even think of harmless differences and wonder why people are how they are. Why do we like different foods, music, styles of clothing, hobbies, etc.?

It's true that you have people who want to blame the BS or the parents or whatever but it isn't the most common response. As for me, I'd just like a solid reason for why my husband would do something to me that I'd never think of doing to him. Having an answer doesn't mean he isn't responsible.

My apologies for using CS instead of WS.

With NTV initial post pointing out the issue, I actually thought that he was pranking me!

Then I thought that lieshurt and latebloomer were joining him in pranking me.

You know what they say about "assume".

It wasn't till loukas said it , that I realize that all these people were giving me clues that I totally ignored!

Honestly, I've been using CS ever since I started here with no issues.

I sometimes use WS but I prefer CS.

I had a mod changed my title.

[This message edited by Dorothy123 at 5:48 PM, October 31st (Tuesday)]

Thanks, Dorothy.

Thanks Loukas !